If you have been reading my blogs then you are aware that we now have two goldendoodles. One is only 3 months old, while the older one is 2 1/2 yrs. old. The older doodle does not like to go outside to do his business in the rain. Saturday night was more than just rain. It was a torrential downpour that lasted for quite some time. Of course, it was the time for the last call to do our nightly business and neither one of the furbabies would venture out in it.
We had a choice. Put them in their crates and when they were uncomfortable and needed to go out, they would wake us at 2 or 3 A.M. - some ungodly hour. Or the puppy would just have an accident in her crate which we never want to happen. It never happened with the older one. The other choice was to wait up with them and stay up later than we wanted to. Both of us are at the stage in our lives that we NEED a certain amount of sleep to function happily! Being a dog family means there is not much sleeping in late so it requires us to go to bed earlier to achieve this goal.
Finally, the rain let up somewhat, and we were able to get them out, and managed to get soaking wet with them. Good news? They did their business and went on to bed. We got out of our wet clothes and went straight to bed.
Here is where my point is going. BOTH of us were miserable for a while on Sunday morning. We heard Maggie Mae at 7 (only because we stayed up so late with her to go out). I started to get up and so did Steve. He said for me to stay, then when I woke up and dressed, he would come back and sleep, then shower and dress. It was teamwork. Thank goodness we could do this because we had a fantastic Memphis Symphony Orchestra Concert to attend at 2:30. Neither one of us wanted to fall asleep when the lights went down and the music started.
When you need your switch turned on there are many ways to do this. Becoming overwhelmed and frustrated is not in this picture. For myself, I thought long and hard about the difference that the two of us make in each other's lives. We were able to turn what could have been a miserable day into a happy ending. According to Lou Holtz, "Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it."
Most days are happy days for me and I started to ask myself if there was an specific thing that I do in order for this to happen. I did come up with ideas that seem to take place on really good days. First of all I do like to have a quiet time to think about what I may be doing for the day that I am grateful about. For example, today I was so grateful that we were going to stop off and pick up some colorful plants for outside and our screened porch, referred to as our inside-out room. I have replayed in my mind what it will be like to finally be able to sit out in this beautiful room and have plants. Due to some health issues, we did not use it much at all, nor the swimming pool last year. Things are looking so much better in so many ways.
Another thing that I noticed is as I am thinking about my day ahead, I need to be sure that I am accepting it for what it is and not wishing that it would be something different. Some errands/jobs are just not as glorious as others, yet they still must be done. It is all about trying to bring your best self to what is coming up. As Diana Ross said, "I can be a better me than anyone can." It works out a lot better and happier than wasting emotional energy on focusing on the down side.
While I am on the subject of acceptance, I think that kindness fits here very well. Kindness acts to others, as well as myself. It gives me a good feeling to experience an act of kindness from someone, but it actually feels even better to actually be the one doing something kind for someone else. It is a sure fire way to help brighten the day. It is amazing what a simple smile or a kind word can do for someone and for yourself. Kindness is contagious.
Self-care falls right into my next train of thought. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. It is a way of respecting not only yourself, but others. If you don't take care of you, mentally and physically, it is impossible to do a good job at taking care of others. It is treating yourself as a friend and we all need to think about what we need to feel supported and nourished. Is it a friend or family member to be a sounding board? Or maybe just a hug from someone special will do it for you. It does not always need to cost money.
Although, I must admit that a manicure/pedicure, massage or just a new pair of cute shoes is one form of self-care that I very much enjoy. It is more along the lines of self-care therapy. It is not the ONLY way to take care of oneself if you want happiness in your day.