GOING FORWARD - NOT LOOKING BACK

 GOING FORWARD

NOT LOOKING BACK

Mary Engelbreit said it well. But how do we move our lives forward? Sometimes, it seems overwhelming just trying to decide what direction to take when it comes to making decisions in our lives. It does not come easy for most of us. I know that I watch others around me and it seems to be 'second nature' to them. As if they have an innate sense of where they are headed, such as their career or where to live or even whom to marry. I did not know until the third time. And as for my career decision? That is a whole different blog. From a high school senior all the way through college, I changed my mind at least ten times. 

If you are more like me (and many others,) then join in the group that a research team called 'dabblers.' This group never seems to be able to stick to just one choice. We travel through life changing lanes and taking up new interests on a regular basis. We seem to skim the surface of things. For me, it is to be able to enjoy as many different experiences as possible. I have noticed though, that it is hard to get things completed in this mode of operation. There are ways to overcome this so that we can move forward in our lives.

One way is to go ahead and totally commit to the decision for a month. Each day for a month schedule 30 - 60 minutes to work solely on the project. This can be a job search or research on different opportunities. Or it could be painting techniques to use, even a neighborhood or city that you may be interested in moving to. Then, make a list and pick the one idea that stands out the most. Here is where the dabblers have trouble. Flip a coin if you must. The idea is to just choose something. If the idea is only in our heads, there is no way of knowing if it is for us or not. I am the famous 'list maker.' I do pros and cons list on my decisions on whether to go this way or that way.

It is important to not rule things out totally too quickly. If something isn't working or making me happy it is easier for me to just ditch it than to spend time thinking about what I would need to make it work for me. The important thing for me is to remember not to bail out too fast before giving it a chance. Become a problem solver, so to speak. Not always easy for me to come up with other possible solutions to what I had already planned and set into motion. Even if the plan was not working. It is just more simple for me to scrap it than to revamp it. That is definitely something important for me to work on. 

Really, it is a matter of being flexible to go to Plan B and then Plan C and maybe Plan D? I am ready to jump out and bail before giving things a chance. I must remember that I can do almost anything if I do the work, but it is worth remembering that some things are much more difficult and competitive than others'. WOW! Do I ever know that? Example? My novel writing. And no, I have not given up. I am only rethinking and doing the problem solving myself. I feel confident that I will accomplish my goal.

Sometimes people fear that when they commit to one option that they are stuck with it forever. There is such a thing as a compromise. As my novel has evolved, I have added compromises...many, many times over and over and over. So now, as of the writing of this blog, I am ready to move forward. There is no looking back and saying, "I should've, I could've, if only I would've." JUST DO IT!

A LOVE LETTER

 A LOVE LETTER 

Steve,

It is very hard for me to grasp the fact that as of Monday, October 23rd, you have not been in my life. It was all so sudden and so unexpected. There is not a day that goes by that I do not talk to you or write to you in my daily journal. I have tried to keep the same routine that you and I had of writing in our journals as our dinner was cooking. 

So much of my life has changed without you. Missing someone who passed away is a whole different type of heartache. You would be so proud of your daughter and her family who have stepped up and tried living here in our home to help me get through the grief. Then we discovered that yes, this will work permanently. I know that you hear your granddaughters, especially the youngest one, as she puts her hands together and prays to you out loud, her "Smiley." You will forever be in their hearts. Even our granddaughters down in New Orleans, who we did not get to see nearly as often, still talk about their "Smiley." It does my heart good.

And, I believe that you had something to do with how things worked out in our home. It is now a home of 5. We do things a lot differently than when it was just the two of us. There are now two children living here. This alone makes our home such a happy place. From the saxophone playing (sort of, kind of - she is a beginner in the Middle School band) to the youngest one who is now the Karate Kid! Very active lifestyles with volleyball, drama clubs, etc. Truly, I know in my heart that you knew this is what I needed and helped to make that all happen. Luckily, this house works perfectly due to the size of it for them to live upstairs, just as Tom did before he moved into his own place.

I know that I have to let go of having you by my side. Holding your hand, talking face to face. But I will never let go of loving you, remembering you, honoring you and missing you. It's hard missing you. But, I know that missing you means that I was lucky. It means that I had someone so very special in my life, someone worth missing!

My mind still talks to you. My heart still looks for you. My soul knows you are at peace. But I still miss you. When I lost you, I have never gotten over it. I am slowly learning how to go on without you but you are always tucked safely in my heart. 

You were taken from me much too soon. I think of you all the time and talk to you. What I wouldn't give to hear your voice, just one last time. I miss your laugh. I miss everything about you. I will always love you deeply. A quote from Cindy Adkins in the book Angels at My Door sums it up well.

There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart!

Mahatma Gandhi

SEABILITATED

 SEABILITATED

This is a true statement for me. I am quite sure that it is for many others as well. It is a fact that if it ever became possible, I would have my own place on the ocean - just as long as my daughter and her family could come along with both of our furbabies. It would be very large and we would all have our personal spaces like we do now - only larger. I have the picture in my mind right now.

We would engage our senses in new sights, smells, tastes, and sounds, which would continue to improve our mental state and increase feelings of relaxation  -  all of the time. The sea is known to restore good mental and physical health through SEA therapy. Not just for a week or two of vacation. But, always.

It is a matter of calming the mind with the meditational ebb and flow of the tides, which lowers anxiety and stress, thereby reducing headaches and lifts depression. The brain receives messages that cause changes that leaves us feeling happier, more relaxed, and full of energy. This, in turn, encourages physical activity, which has a very positive effect on the human mind. It encourages the body to produce the happy hormone, serotonin, which makes people feel happy and stress-free. 

It would be a place where we would could live permanently because it truly is just what the doctor ordered. It is a great way to unwind and relax always. The sound of waves crashing has been shown to enhance relaxation more than any other sound. Even walking along the shoreline can make one feel less isolated and happier. This would be grand to live day to day in this state of mind. Even though, let's be real. Life happens and there will be those moments. I just feel that those kind of moments would be short lived if the beach was our permanent residence. 

This is most definitely my point of view.