Tuesday, February 27, 2024




Imagine for a moment that we spread our own wings to help spread our own unique gifts with the world. I have that picture in my mind when I think of self-care. Self-care is all about taking care of ourselves so that we are able to help care for others who need a bit of help from others.

I like to imagine that if I continue to spread my wings and fly that the unique gifts that I may have can reach others by sharing. Let's face it. Being human is hard. That is just that way life is. There is no sense in digging a hole and hiding our heads in the sand just to pretend that issues are not all around us to handle. 

Instead of looking at it as "handling" the issues, I like to look at it as thriving. A good motto could be, "Thrive and not just Survive." 

Thriving for me is the ability to handle challenges with less struggle by being aligned with my own unique gifts and sharing these gifts in ways that feel joyful.

There is no good reason that I can think of for anyone to hold their breath and wait until things get calmer or easier. Life happens. For me, I can say there are ups and downs and the word on the street is to just go with the flow. 

Being able to thrive and go with the flow actually fills me with positive energy and gives me a magical feeling of being alive and on this earth for a purpose. Life is just too short to dread our day or just to 'get through them.' LIVE THEM WITH GUSTO. I can agree that some days are livelier than others. I may lean more to the positive way of looking at life but I also am realistic. We are all human and I have my moments. The smart thing is to give myself these moments and pick myself up and start again. 

Instead of worrying about stuff that I could not control, I discovered that by focusing more on how I could share some of my gifts with others. Just the very fact of sharing another way to look at a problem or issue that we all go through in life. This helps to shift worry into creative actions.

Taking care of ourselves is not being selfish. In order to help others, we first must help ourselves to be stronger. Love ourselves. This in turn can be shared with others to witness how it works. It is a continuous circle of caring.

We all deserve happiness. This must become a self-belief. You really can't help make everyone else feel happy and feel good if we ourselves are not happy. This means to not put ourselves on the back burner. This will make us feel drained and less able to handle stress.

Practicing self-love and self-respect, as well as self-compassion is what will guide us to be able to help others and share our own uniqueness. Remembering that self-love isn't conditional. It is not earned. We are all a being - not a doing. We are deserving as human beings.

Doing things that make us feel good and fuels us is basically what life is all about. It is not ever the time to just put it off for later. Never stop dreaming. There really is more beyond out there for all of us. I never want to coast through life. It really is more fun to be a little bolder and to be daring. Find what brings you most joy, go for it and share it. 

Sunday, February 11, 2024



It is so true that the hardest part of healing after losing someone you love is to recover the "you" that went away with them. So many times I have to remind myself that yes indeed, life is tough. But dang it...so am I. I can actually hear Steve saying the words above to me personally. Sometimes it is not always easy to give myself accolades so I use my collection of mantras to read and write about; such as I am amazing. I have made it work thanks to a wonderful family and great friends. And I will not leave out my willingness to ride the wave of life.

It is so very important to just keep right on growing.


It is so true, that I would rather be growing with Steve. Believe it or not, I am still slowly taking care of some of his treasures in his drawers and boxes. It is a way of feeling closer to him. There are so many times that I do not feel alone and I can feel him around me. However crazy you may think that sounds, it is true for me. And for me? I plan of doing more of what I love. 

Definitely, I am conscious of my treasures. There are so many treasures that Steve helped me to discover when we met and the 20 + years afterwards. That is how I know that I am not alone. As The Beatles song of Now and Then states, "And if I make it through, it's all because of you." He really did make me a stronger person and continues to do so. I know that he would be so proud of how I finally took hold of my life after losing him and took a healthy journey for me. That alone has given me the courage to know that adventure awaits; always keep the doors always open. Don't just survive, THRIVE! I can hear him giving me this advice.

If you have read my blogs before or followed my Facebook page you definitely know by now that I believe in quotes and mantras to get me through my day in the positive manner that I wish. If I woke up feeling like a 'Debbie Downer' than it would not be worth getting up and being a grumpy bear all day. I post the mantras on my page more for myself than anyone else. When I was working, I shared one a week with the staff that I worked with and called them djmilestones. I never knew how they were accepted until I noticed in some classrooms that teachers put these little colored strips of paper with the weekly milestone quote around their rooms. WOW! That was powerful. So I knew that it was not just me that felt that way. Even through my FB page, some friends write that they really do enjoy reading the positive quotes or sayings that I post. If it helps someone else then great. It makes me happy.

Some other mantras that I have picked up along the way and are still my favorites, I will share with you on this blog:

  • ~When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. ~
  • "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."  Dr. Seuss
  • "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."  Winnie the Pooh
  • "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us."  Helen Keller
  • ~ Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day...unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear. ~
This one truly gave me meaning and helped me understand what I was going though. We all are different and we all walk in different shoes. 

Please allow me to share that for the longest time I felt that moving on meant forgetting about my life with Steve. This alone made me NOT want to move on. Finally, I learned that moving on does not mean letting go. It is from the following quote by Mary VanHaute:

"You will survive and you will find purpose in the chaos. Moving on doesn't mean letting go."
In memory of our wedding anniversary on Valentine's Day 2/14/2002:

Friday, February 2, 2024



There are some things swirling around in my brain that for whatever reason, I just think about asking myself if I should even be doing these things. Most of the time, for me, the answer is a great big loud, "NO!" That does not mean that it is not right for another person. We all have our own certain characteristics. What fits one does not always fit another. Some of these things still make me go: hmmmmmm. 

Some of these things are:

Arguing with other people  -  Why? If they say 
2 + 2 =5 then just say, yes, you are correct. (Unless I am a teacher with students or on the debate team). Adults seem to form their own opinions and there is no point in trying to convince them otherwise.

Drama - There are some people who have mastered the art of their own personal drama and live for it. I don't have to participate.

People Pleaser - At one point, I had to come to the conclusion that everyone does not have to like me so I do not have to try to please every one. In fact, there is no way to try to please everybody. I just do what I feel is right when I must make decisions

Sitting on the floor - Yes, I can sit on the floor. It is the getting up part that is tricky (basically due to my knees - a little noisy and a bit painful, so I just choose a chair or a low stool.

Excuses - I have come to realize the if the truth be told in the very beginning, then there is no need to ramble on and on with excuses.

Eating food that is not delicious  - Now that I am on my own healthy lifestyle journey, one of my questions to myself is why waste calories if it is not delicious? It is a matter of picking and choosing what I find to be delicious and healthy. And if it is not exactly on my program, then portion control becomes very important if I believe it to be worth the calories.

Partying, staying up too late, and hangovers -
Some of these things go together and for me the question comes up of why? Yes, I like to party just like most others, but I must be the one to chose for me the time to go. I am not in a good mood the next day if I stay up too late. Then having a glass of wine is great. My college days of waking up with an occasional hangover has long passed me by. I had to learn the hard way. (and painful with the headache)

Perhaps you have your life guidelines too. And maybe they are totally different from mine. No two people are ever exactly the same and that is ok! 

Whatever we all go by to live a happy life (as long as it is not harming others) is great. Find your own way! I am finding my own way and it changes here and there along the way. To me, that simply means that I am always evolving.