LIFE IS TOUGH

 LIFE IS TOUGH

It is so true that the hardest part of healing after losing someone you love is to recover the "you" that went away with them. So many times I have to remind myself that yes indeed, life is tough. But dang it...so am I. I can actually hear Steve saying the words above to me personally. Sometimes it is not always easy to give myself accolades so I use my collection of mantras to read and write about; such as I am amazing. I have made it work thanks to a wonderful family and great friends. And I will not leave out my willingness to ride the wave of life.

It is so very important to just keep right on growing.

 

It is so true, that I would rather be growing with Steve. Believe it or not, I am still slowly taking care of some of his treasures in his drawers and boxes. It is a way of feeling closer to him. There are so many times that I do not feel alone and I can feel him around me. However crazy you may think that sounds, it is true for me. And for me? I plan of doing more of what I love. 

Definitely, I am conscious of my treasures. There are so many treasures that Steve helped me to discover when we met and the 20 + years afterwards. That is how I know that I am not alone. As The Beatles song of Now and Then states, "And if I make it through, it's all because of you." He really did make me a stronger person and continues to do so. I know that he would be so proud of how I finally took hold of my life after losing him and took a healthy journey for me. That alone has given me the courage to know that adventure awaits; always keep the doors always open. Don't just survive, THRIVE! I can hear him giving me this advice.

If you have read my blogs before or followed my Facebook page you definitely know by now that I believe in quotes and mantras to get me through my day in the positive manner that I wish. If I woke up feeling like a 'Debbie Downer' than it would not be worth getting up and being a grumpy bear all day. I post the mantras on my page more for myself than anyone else. When I was working, I shared one a week with the staff that I worked with and called them djmilestones. I never knew how they were accepted until I noticed in some classrooms that teachers put these little colored strips of paper with the weekly milestone quote around their rooms. WOW! That was powerful. So I knew that it was not just me that felt that way. Even through my FB page, some friends write that they really do enjoy reading the positive quotes or sayings that I post. If it helps someone else then great. It makes me happy.

Some other mantras that I have picked up along the way and are still my favorites, I will share with you on this blog:

• ~When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. ~
• "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."  Dr. Seuss
• "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."  Winnie the Pooh
• "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us."  Helen Keller
• ~ Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day...unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear. ~

This one truly gave me meaning and helped me understand what I was going though. We all are different and we all walk in different shoes. 

Please allow me to share that for the longest time I felt that moving on meant forgetting about my life with Steve. This alone made me NOT want to move on. Finally, I learned that moving on does not mean letting go. It is from the following quote by Mary VanHaute:

"You will survive and you will find purpose in the chaos. Moving on doesn't mean letting go."

  

In memory of our wedding anniversary on Valentine's Day 2/14/2002: