Monday, November 21, 2016

Positive Anything Is Better Than Negative Nothing

There is no way that any of us can escape friends or colleagues who are negative.  We all know that they are not the most enjoyable people to be around because they can spin anything toward a negative direction.  It is draining on those of us who work so hard at focusing on the positives of most any situation.

Some of the things that I have learned to manage negativity is to channel it back to a more positive mindset I will share with you. There was a time that I was totally taken aback by negative people and I had to hop on the bandwagon basically for myself, if for no one else.  Why? Because I refuse to entertain negativity.  Life is too big and time is too short to get caught up in empty drama.  

Of course, positive people also can have some negative thoughts, it is just that we do not let these thoughts control us. In other words, I refuse to let these thoughts take over my life.  I have learned that if I can't be positive then at least be quiet. What good does it do me to go around with a scowl on my face, complaining about a problem instead of digging in and working with others to come up with a solution.  My thoughts are if people who say it cannot be done would stop interrupting, then those who are working on the positive spin could finish a lot faster.  It does seem as if negative people have a problem for every solution.

There is one major no-no which is to never get in a debate with them.  They have views that are not going to change, no matter what reasoning you give.  Unless you wish to swirl deeper into their negative thoughts, move on and just give them a moment to vent and perhaps ask if there is anything that you can do to help. Usually there is not a thing you can do, however, this will pull the rug out from under them for a moment.  (Be careful not to let them see that grin on your face, because this can be humorous and quite entertaining.)

There is a way to work on cultivating the skill of seeing the good in the person rather than their negative outlook on life.  And remember, if all of this fails, you do have the power to simply avoid them when you can.  Some are easier than others to do the avoidance tactic (especially if it is someone that you must work with).  Negative people thrive on worry and can't live with whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or 

An example of this can be the person spotting some angry clouds on the way to the beach, telling the group that the best part of the day has already past.  They always imagine everything will go wrong.  Pessimists cannot limit their exposure to bad news.  With the social media the way it is today, we are able to get all news quickly and our negative friends love to be the first one to share it because this is what they thrive on, even though it contributes to depression and anxiety.  It can color a negative person's outlook on life, yet they see it as another way to complain.

Negative people usually become underachievers because deep down they feel as if they are not smart enough or athletic enough or good enough to make it all come together.  They really love the word, "but."  Let me give you a perfect example; "It looks like a lovely hotel BUT I wonder how clean they keep the rooms."  There is the "BUT" rule that comes into play.  This rule states that anything said before the word but is bologna (really, it is bullshit, I was just trying to be polite).  The person thinks it is a stinky hotel and they don't believe they keep the rooms clean, nor do they wish to stay there. That would be the translation.  

Each day during my meditation, I keep a positive mantra in my head to repeat at the beginning and at the end between concentrating on clearing my head and breathing.  Usually, I post this positive thought on my FaceBook timeline.  It is a positive start to my day.  It is fantastic that other people click like it or love it or have something nice to say such as, "Thanks, DJ.  Just what I needed to start my day."  Truly, I don't go and search for something that someone else will like or not.  In fact, some friends and family have told me that they love the posts and they have never clicked or share on line this fact at all.  That is fine.  

Where the problem can come in, is when a negative person pops up with a negative comment and tries to rain on my positivity.  Yes, it is open to all to share what they wish, however, it is my page and I can delete such nonsense so that they can go and share their negativity on their page.  Energy is contagious, positive and negative alike.  I will forever be mindful of what and who I am allowing into my space.      

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