The other day I saw something that made perfect sense to me when I read it. It was an article by J.S von Dacre stating that the more you focus on pursuing happiness, the less you will find it. That is because it is not based on conditions. It is not about money, the perfect partner, having the perfect job, drivings the car of your dreams, etc.
Happiness is rather hard to define specifically. I am talking the happiness from within us. The dictionary says that happiness is a noun and is defined as the state of being happy. That is rather ambiguous! My thoughts are that if we allow ourselves to obsess with finding happiness, then it is not going to be true happiness.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are all in harmony. Dalai Lama said it well: "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."
Things can happen in our lives that may not at that moment make us happy. You have the ability to choose if it is something that is going to make you so unhappy that it will take over your day, your week, your month, your life?
It is being mindful of all the good and thinking about the little things that do make you happy. This morning as I was ready to come in to get my coffee and start my morning writing, I noticed that my husband had his computer up and running with the page from the company that was to come back to our house if a rodent was discovered in a trap. Well, all I can say is that for a moment (okay, for a little over a moment) I was not happy about that one little bit.
That one little bit felt like a volcano ready to explode within me. You have to understand my feelings about rodents. I do not find anything that vaguely resembles a rodent cute. This includes mice, rats, squirrels, hamsters, gerbils and even raccoons. I am sure there are others that are not mentioned, just know they are not on my list of likes. Therefore, this is why I was feeling this way. I could tell by hearing Steve's end of the conversation that the company was not being cooperative in getting someone out today.
This company had agents who had my phone number and his phone number and someone was to call. No one did. I did a little research and found a place to send an e mail straight to someone who could help. I did not use any four letter words, just worded it strongly that they really need to get their act together and get someone over to our house immediately or else we would be terminating our business with them.
Somehow, the writing of the e mail helped calm down the volcano ready to erupt. I became aware through my positive mantra of the day. I can get through this. Breathing slowly and repeating this as I started my writing. I posted the milestone mantra from Plato, "The beginning is the most important part of the work." This fit my day as if it were handmade just for me. The music that I love was turned on, I wore one of my favorite colors, I cuddled with our puppy some, and I worked on trying to see the best of what the day would bring. Thinking of what I was grateful for was uppermost in my mind. And so the beginning of my work for the day.
By ten a car pulled up with an Inspector from the company who had treated Steve so poorly on the phone. He took care of everything and more. He went above and beyond what he had to do, which took a long time of inspecting inside and outside of our home. Just as he was leaving, after having solved the problems, a delivery truck pulled up with a delivery of flowers from one of my children for Mother's Day. Again, the little things like smiling, music, colors, scents of roses all made the volcano that earlier wanted to erupt just dissipate.
I would say that all in all my happiness continues to win out over the alternative without me in hot pursuit of it. Will there be times that events pop up that will not always be so happy? Of course! That is called life. Once I pulled myself together, what I was thinking, saying and doing were in harmony and happiness has no way except to sink within me.
There is a book called "Solve for Happy" by Mo Gawdat. He approached happiness like a math problem. He said that happiness is the peace you feel when life's events are equal to (or match) your expectations. In his book he tells how his philosophy helped him cope with the death of his 21 year old son. His basic premise was that if his son is gone and there is nothing he can do to change that, then how can he make it a little better? He arrived at it would be by sharing his son's happiness formula with the world. The formula is nothing more than what I have been writing about and that is if you can't change what is happening to you or around you that is not good, then you need to work on seeing how you can use that to make it better for others. In doing so, you then help yourself.
My goal is to continue to be aware of my own self. Being mindful of how I am feeling and why or what is causing it. Can I change it and if the answer is no, then the question is how can I make it better for not only myself, but for those around me. The best advice that I can tell you that I start with is: