Monday, August 14, 2017

What's Love Got To Do With It?

In the real world, does one have to have a true love, a life partner, a soulmate, a spouse, a boyfriend/girlfriend or significant other in order to live out a happy and fulfilled life? I am here to say boldly that the answer is absolutely not.

Some people who know me may say that is easy for you to say because you have that one special person in your life. Yes, I do. It took both of us quite a while to make the connection of just who would be the one to make each of us happier, fulfilled and so deeply in loved and cherished. Time, distance and the universe were not exactly on our sides to ever meet. It just happened due to many outside factors and one very big factor that comes from within all of us. We became much more self-aware and learned how to love ourselves and be happy from within ourselves.

That is my point of this whole spiel. Let it just happen. Really, you can't go out in search and find "the one and only" that you want for yourself. There are too many unknowns that play into just letting love find the way, as I mentioned above.

First, and most important of all, you have to be happy and content within yourself. If you are not happy it sort of makes others tend to stay away. Real smiles and happiness that come from the heart are felt for miles around. It shows that you have a love of life, that you are confident in yourself. I love the term of an authentic person. By that I mean a person who is confident, shows empathy, has realistic perceptions, is thoughtful, has a sense of humor and is a life long learner. Truly, I could add many more fine qualities, most of which overlap to a degree.

The point is when a person can be happy within themselves, they do not need someone else for true happiness. Love and romance is not the be-all and end-all of adult life. We all should be in charge and in control of our own happiness. We can choose it if we really want happiness. 

Once that is established the world is out there for each of us to explore. You never know what you may find or what may find you? We may all have the media telling us that for women, as well as men, we must look a certain way in order to find that one and only of our dreams. That is just NOT so. The saying of beauty is in the eye of the beholder is alive and well. First and foremost of all, one can be voted the most beautiful or most handsome or most sexy person out there, however, if the qualities that I talked about above are missing, the relationship will have a crack in it from the get-go. Just think of all of the famous so-called beautiful people in the world. Are all of them matched up to their life-partner and happy? Why? Because they themselves have not found their own happiness. 

There is someone out there for everyone if that is what you want. Bottom line is take care of your happiness and well-being. Whatever else comes your way is the icing on the cake, if that is what you desire. A key word here is patience. You never know when or where, because for most of us it takes years of working on ourselves before anything else will happen. Embrace yourself, then if you want someone else of your choosing to embrace you, it is more likely to happen. You can only love someone else to the extent that you love yourself. This was a hard lesson for me to learn.

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