PATIENCE IS A SKILL

 PATIENCE IS A SKILL

Patience is most definitely a skill. I know that when I feel as if I am at the end of my rope that it is past time that I need to do something immediately to work on increasing my ability to engage in becoming a more patient person.

First, let's define what I am actually talking about. The lack of having patience - impatience - is when things are not going the way that I expected. In reality, it happens to us every day of our lives. There is some kind of disruption that takes place where your plans  are not going the way that you had set in place. Some of these things are smaller in nature than others. First of all it is important to expect delays will happen. Traffic jams, hitting every red light instead of smooth sailing when you are off to work or an appointment. There comes a time that you just must accept them. A good expression that I heard was to just give up the fight and accept you may have lost the battle but not the war. Settle down, breathe in, let it go and feel your body calm down. These little things can lead to bigger disruptions in your work life or just everyday life in general.

                                                                    

This Chinese Proverb is oh so true. It will bring more peace to your life. Accept what is happening, be thankful for cell phones if you need to call to apologize for being late if you feel that is necessary. There will be time to do what you need to do once you give in to what you truly have no control over.

Developing the skill of patience is work and has many benefits which have been well researched:

• Patience will make you a healthier person. Being stressed leads to hypertension, high cholesterol, ulcers, heart disease and even strokes. Less physical illness has been connected to having patience which is where lower overall stress levels occur.
• Patience help you to develop a healthy attitude. You tend to enjoy life more. The old saying of, "Good things come to those who wait," is so true. More productive decisions lead to greater success.
• Patient people have a greater sense of gratitude. Thinking more of what you have to be grateful for helps shrink your focus on what isn't happening towards more of all the good that has happened. 
• Patience can also transform relationships. It can slow you down to think before you say and do things that you will be sorry for later. It develops the skill of empathy; understanding how the other perspective may be feeling. Choosing care and compassion for the other person and talking it out.

We all need to slow down. Most of us live at a fast pace which in turn makes having patience even more difficult. Taking time to smell the roses is not such a bad idea, huh? Calming breaths to just be able to let it go is a good skill to help slow it down. 

Self-talk is important. In your head thinking about the other person and how it must feel to be in their shoes and how you may respond. Empathy helps to build connections. It helps one to see the big picture. Sometimes it is a conglomeration of many little things that lead to the big problem. The quote from Fay Weldon, "Nothing happens, and nothing happens and then...EVERYTHING HAPPENS!" Sometimes it feels that way. Just as you may have had patience on the little things, once it moves on to the big picture; this is not the time to stop practicing patience. Cultivate an 'attitude of gratitude.'

We do control our own selves, our thoughts and our actions. I have been working on choosing to develop more patience by being kinder to myself so as not to become impatient in developing the skill of patience.

I am not endorsing to take up fishing. (Although, I remember the good old days of my grandfather teaching me how to wait for the fish.)Just comparing the patience that it takes to wait for a fish to bite is a good analogy to what it takes to grasp the skill of practicing patience.