STEP OUT OF THE TRADITIONAL BOX FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Saturday, November 22, 2025
STEP OUT OF THE TRADITIONAL BOX FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Saturday, November 1, 2025
We Are Ready to Bloom!
WE ARE READY TO BLOOM!
Yes, it is a big play on words, but oh how true to life these words are. If you take the time to read and ponder some over each phrase, I think that you may get my meaning.
Don't you just love this silly picture? It serves a purpose in showing us that it is important to have our silly and frivolous moments. These moments will bring smiles to all of our faces. Most importantly to us as the individual. Everyone else benefits from the silliness and laughter. It lightens things up for all.
We do not have to press pause to return to the good old days. Yes, let's be honest. Now we have adulting to contend with. No one said that we can't have fun with it. Be young at heart and deal with life in a way that does not bring you and everyone around you down. It is not a matter of ignoring bad things that may be happening all around us. It is simply a matter of handling things in a different way. Dwelling on problems and repeating, "Oh woe is me," is not going to solve anything at all.
If we feel that we may not always have "the inner child" within us, then at least let our inner idiot surface every now and then. It demonstrates that we are all human with real human feelings.
Sunday, October 5, 2025
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO HAVE JOY IN YOUR LIFE
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO HAVE JOY IN YOUR LIFE
If we have the right mindset, we will be able to allow ourselves to feel joy, even when things aren't always perfect. What is truly always perfect? We can't live our lives as 'Debbie Downers'. We need to believe in finding joy in our lives. It is only up to ourselves to make that choice. The "small stuff" actually turns out to be the BIG stuff. It is all about finding joy in the small things all around us. This can make us feel good in that moment, but it goes so much further into our very souls.
It does require that we be alert and aware of what is going on all around us. A book that I read called The Gifts They Leave Behind is a wonderful example.
Loved ones who have left this Earth give us signs. The trick is to be aware of them. Mine happens to be a very special cardinal that comes to my birdfeeder almost daily and sometimes more than once a day.
He shows up at the most amazing times, such as when I am questioning a financial decision, or a trip, just decisions that the two of us used to discuss. I just don't have him here physically with me to discuss ideas anymore. This could be quite sad. And to be honest, it is. What makes it not quite so sad is that he seems to know this and shows up as if to give me nods of approval.
Some things that he used to always see on his walks were special stones or coins right on the ground in front of him. He would always pick them up and keep the ones that he felt were special to him. I actually still have his collection. The only difference now is that I am more aware and find many new stones and coins myself. And of course, I keep those special ones that I find. It is as if he put them there for me to find.
These are some of the things that help to bring joy to my life. And, yes! I can say that I am a happy person. It is all about finding moments when life all around you just feels good. Creating the kind of life that helps to bring me joy. Luckily, I learned that things do NOT have to be perfect. Let things go, and we can be pleasantly surprised at the pleasure that is all around by creating that kind of space for contentment.
Upon reviewing some research, I found that there are two kinds of happiness: hedonic, which is the kind that feels good in the moment, such as laughter or a breath of fresh air. Then there is Eudemonic happiness, which runs deeper than the moment. This brings peace and purpose, and just being true to ourselves.
A Harvard study of 80+ years confirms all of this by stating that many of us have learned. Joy does not come from status and/or success. It comes from meaningful connections and how we choose to engage in our days. Say to yourself, "Pay attention...this matters!" I am sure that you could make a list of so many little things that bring you joy throughout the day.
My suggestion is to work on making these moments happen more often. Give yourself permission to say no when you need to. Or to take a nap when you can - just because! Start in the morning with that first cup of coffee or tea in the quiet dawn. I do put up my Facebook mantras about coffee. And yes! I love my coffee. That first cup is my quiet time to think about what will bring me joy throughout the day. Even Steve knew how much I needed that. He usually brought my first cup of coffee to me in bed during the work week. In all fairness, on the weekends, I did the same with him for his morning tea. Or perhaps got the tea kettle going for his afternoon tea time. As I said before, it is so many of the little things that make the BIG things happen. Like JOY and LOVE!
Monday, September 29, 2025
DREAMS AND STRATEGIES
Dare yourself to dream! Many of us have specific and even some non-specific dreams in our heads. They are a part of us in our sleep and also while we are awake. These dreams just don't happen all by themselves. We need to use the Autumn months that are just beginning to reset some of our routines and pull "things" together that have been on our minds. Autumn is the perfect reset mode. We can anchor our morning routines one thing at a time. This is where it all begins. BELIEVE it can happen.
Just believing in your dreams is the first step. It is the first strategy of making things happen.
After setting up what we dream of happening in our lives, the next strategies involve setting those goals, achieving them, and then repeating the process for all our dreams. As I stated before, dreams just don't happen, and that is all there is to it. We need to hit our goals, crush them, and then not forget about them. It will always be a work in progress.
Summer months can throw all of us off routines with the longer daylight hours, vacations - even staycations. Summer can cause a bit of a chaotic life. So for me - Fall is like hitting the reset button.
Sharing dreams can be scary, but on the other hand, it can be more rewarding. Your dreams are out in the open. We may have our doubts about doing this, yet really, it is a major part of being human to try new things. In my opinion, this shows authenticity. This matters even more than perfection. It is putting ourselves out there, no matter how long the dream takes to accomplish - just "do it." Dreams tend to expand when they are shared.
My dream has always been to publish a novel. I have been working on it forever. This used to make me feel inadequate as a writer until I read about some really famous authors who did the very same thing. Not everyone can accomplish writing a novel in a year or two. And that is ok. For me, I have come to the end of mine and have some friends who are helping in the editing before I either try to get it published through a publisher or self-publish. It will happen. I BELIEVE!
The other dream that I have had is to paint. I dabbled with watercolors, sketching, and acrylics, and did achieve a level of painting and drawing that brought me joy. I then had the opportunity to go to a workshop with an oil artist. She happens to be a friend and someone I worked with before she retired. I have always loved her artwork. Oil painting is so very different, and it sort of scared me.
What better way to learn about it and try it out than to sign up for one of her workshops? And so I did! Was it scary? Yes! Stepping into the unknown always is. One brush stroke at a time is how it works. I want to continue learning the many intricacies of using oils. It has become fun to make my own colors. I don't have to buy pink...I put some red with some white and can make my pink into a pastel or hot pink, however I want it.
Go ahead and dare to dream. You never know what can become reality.
“Dreams don't work unless you take action. The surest way to make your dreams come true is to live them.”
Monday, September 15, 2025
TRAIN YOUR BRAIN
TRAIN YOUR BRAIN
While saying this, we may not know what specific thing is going to happen to us, but the anticipation? It is being aware that something could be right in front of our noses, and the day becomes an adventure instead of a nightmare. An example could be a text from a long-time friend that you have not heard from. You may bump into a classmate that you have not seen in a coffee shop. This is training our brain to LOOK for the good things that happen. Having a good attitude for no particular reason helps. It seems that we could have a bad attitude for no particular reason. Remember that it is a learned skill to look for good things. We deserve to be in a good mood every day. By default, our brains go to the dark side. It is all about how we talk to ourselves.
An example would be to ask yourself, "What do you say when you do something wrong?" Do you say, "You idiot?" Or you trip over something and you say, "How clumsy!" That is how our brain defaults to a bad attitude. The best skill to develop is to train our brains to default to a good attitude for no particular reason, because it helps us handle stress and get through life.
#3 No matter what happens today, I can handle it.
If you are a worrier, full of anxiety, it is because it is a moment of uncertainty where you doubt your ability to handle the situation. If we train our brains, it becomes a game-changer. Summon up your resilience. An example of this could be finding a note from your boss that she needs to see you at 1:00. You may (probably) go into worrying mode about what you must have done wrong - assuming the worst. Training your brain to know that you can handle whatever comes your way helps you to weather it better - no matter what it may be. If you wake up with your heart already palpitating, then your whole body becomes tense. This suggests that we need to train our brains to start each day with a positive mindset. We can handle it.
Research on this topic shows that cortisol or the CAR increases alertness for the day. It can feel like a sense of dread, so you begin to doubt yourself. You just want to cover your head and go back to bed. BUT, we all have the power to train our brains to have a good day and we can handle it!
#4 An exciting new chapter in my life is starting today.
This makes our brains look for a fresh start. Don't get stuck in the same routine. Examples are things like updating a resume, going home a different way, taking a walk, stopping off at a coffee shop, and saying hello and smiling at everyone. It trains our brains to change and start new and fresh beginnings. In our brains, there is a filter. In the scientific world, this is called RAS. It helps to filter out information that we don't need, or else our brains would explode with all of the information going in. This means we train our brains to filter in positive information and kick out the negative. What we focus on will be all positive if we use repetition. This is the way to train our brains.
#5 I need to give myself more credit for how hard I'm trying.
Focusing on the things that we may have done wrong is NOT going to help. Become your own cheerleader. Stop dragging yourself down. You don't need others to validate you. If you get up and go to the gym, then good for you. Tell yourself, "Good Job!" If others are not acknowledging this fact, then just let them. This will fuel your desire to do more. Saying these statements out loud, in your head, or even writing them down is the repetition that you need to train your brain. Remember that it takes 30-60 days of training.
Develop the skill to be in a good mood, and now is the time to start re-wiring your brain. Just think about how long it took you to develop your brain to doubt everything you do and focus on the bad attitudes. (basically all of your life up to this point) After 30-60 days, your brain will be on autopilot. Waking up to check texts on our phones is not in the program of reprogramming our brains.
#6 I'm allowed to be a work in progress.
If you struggle and put things off because you want it to be perfect, this is for you. It is ok not to be perfect. Give your brain training and tell it that you don't have to have all of the answers. Tell yourself that you can figure it out.
#7 If I keep showing up, life will reward me.
Let's face it. It is easy to put your head down and do "the reps." Just over and over - therefore, it is also easy to just quit. The reps can be boring, but if we keep showing up, life will eventually reward us. Think of all the people, from authors to actresses, to musicians...they all did not make it overnight. They did keep showing up and plugging away. And they were rewarded. Keep going. Show your stamina!
#8 I have an important contribution to make to the world.
We all know something that matters. It affirms your deep belief in yourself, your ideas, and your actions. They have powerful and rippling effects. Speak to the barista, speak to the doorman, the server, the janitor...The way you move through life is person to person. Being kind, sharing kindness starts with your energy and attitude.
Be intentional about having a good day and having a good attitude. You will be surprised at how much your anxiety level goes down and how much happier you will be!
Saturday, August 30, 2025
WHAT ARE THE ANSWERS?
WHAT ARE THE ANSWERS?
?????
First of all, this is strictly my own opinion. I don't have 'the answers.' After all, it is my blog...with that being said, I always let comments come through, whether you agree or disagree. I just wanted to clarify that I am not posting this blog for the purpose of debate. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We all must at least agree that we need to come up with 'the answers.' At least a start to help solve this chaotic mess going on in our society.
The question is, when will all of these mass shootings stop? It seems as if they are happening more and more often. They are in high schools, middle schools, elementary schools, public schools, private schools, universities, churches, Walmarts, grocery stores, hardware stores, manufacturing plants, military bases...and the list goes on.
I have come to the conclusion that it is a multitude of actions that should take place. Doing what we are doing now is not helping. And as the saying goes, if we continue doing the same thing, then nothing is going to change.
First, it truly is a gun control issue. I already know that many have already turned me off. I don't mean to take away the guns that hunters use to legally hunt with a license. I don't mean the individuals who legally have their own private handguns for personal safety taken away. I am talking about individuals owning semi-automatic weapons or the kind that have a Glock switch. For what reason do private individuals need this kind of gun? And I can hear the naysayers talking about the fact that they are out there now, so how are you going to stop them? Well, we have to start somewhere. Make those illegal. Then, if someone uses one for a crime, the jail time is increased, and that gun is then removed. Yes, it is one at a time, step by step, gun by gun.
The next step is to make sure that proper measures are taken when an individual wants to purchase a gun. All of the background checks are completed thoroughly. (even if it takes longer than a couple of days) When red flags go up in the background check, then it is a no sale. There could be ways to dispute it, however, it will take time to find out the reasons for these red flags.
In a perfect world, we would not need all of the mental health facilities that we are missing from our society today. Let's face facts. We do not live in a perfect world. There are a lot of angry people out there, and many times they write or tell someone about their issues, yet nothing is done to help them. There are times these ideas are put on social media. Yet, no one reports what they see until after the fact. IT is past time that we all need to get involved.
There has even been actual discussion that the reason for the last horrible mass shooting at a Mass inside a Catholic school happened outside through the windows into the pew areas with the gunman never even entering the building. And the reasons I have heard is that he was a male turned female. Really? It does not matter if he is a he or she is a she or they are purple with pink polka dots. That has nothing to do with the horrible fact that innocent children lost their lives. The fact goes back to mental health issues, and this individual needed to be with a therapist and possibly in an institutional setting until his anger and hostility were under control (if it could be). I am not a psychiatrist. I just know that we are all dealing with unstable individuals who need help before they go on a wild rampage of mass shooting.
I am sure that many of you have other ideas that could help deter the mass shootings. Let's all get ideas together and actually do something. Sitting back and watching time after time the killing of innocent people is NOT the answer. It has not worked so far. Even when actions are taken, it will take time for them to help. There is no overnight answer to this problem.
So my blog is now coming to an end. My one hope is that it makes more people aware that when the whole village comes together with ideas to try, these ideas are brought before those who have the power to change some of the laws to help find the answers. I know that we all agree that something must be done.
Monday, August 4, 2025
CHOOSE YOURSELF
CHOOSE YOURSELF
Many of us need to work on creating more positive inner narrative fuelings toward ourselves. Negative talk will come back to bite us by allowing us think this is the way it will be. When all we must do, is take responsibility for what things are not working in our lives and believe that we CAN give ourselves the gift of love. Take in what it is that we really want in our lives. It can awaken us to a whole new beginning of a more vibrant kind of life. One that we all deserve!
In all of our hustle and bustle of everyday life, we need a reminder that it is ok to choose to focus our attention on what it is that we want and appreciate. Whatever we give our attention to will grow; therefore, we want to be intentional about choosing for ourselves. It is not selfish to practice self-love and follow whatever it is that we need to help us grow as individuals.
There are times that we should be observers as long as we are aware that observers may allow uncertainty to block them. They end up staying where they are, even when they know it is not where they want to be. It is the doers who choose differently. They don't wait for the perfect moment or allow their inner critic to run their show. They almost always choose to connect to what lights them up, to get support, and take imperfect action to create what may be next. If you don't have a specific plan of action, it will be ok. Let it happen. Try new things. Be open to what may come.
Examples that I have read about involve people who retired and thought that their best years were behind them. Many discover a way to launch a new beginning to their lives that working 9 - 5 would not allow before. Now is the time to choose a new YOU to feel more energized and confident within yourself.
For myself, it happens to be something that I love to spend time on and gives me total relaxation. This happens to be writing and painting. I quickly learned that compared to what I did when I was working, my daily step count lowered considerably. And, we all have heard that 'sitting is the new smoking!' Moving makes us stronger, but writing and painting had me sitting way too much. After some research, I learned that prolonged sitting causes many problems.
- Higher risk of depression
- Stagnation in lymph movement
- Low bone density
- Lack of joint lubrication
- Computer vision syndrome
- Increased risk of heart failure and blood clots
- Decreased lung capacity
- Compromised digestive tract
- Sluggish metabolism
- Increased risk of diabetes
The main idea of this blog is to just do it for yourself. Find what makes you happy and always keep the "YOU" in your plans.
Monday, July 14, 2025
SELF-DOUBT
SELF-DOUBT
Sunday, June 29, 2025
A BETTER AND HEALTHIER HUMAN
A BETTER AND HEALTHIER HUMAN
All issues should be addressed in order to have an overall better and healthier human. They all weave together. For myself, I prefer to start with the physical side, which lends itself to eating healthier. That leads right into my mental wellbeing because that is how my brain works. You can decide which way to go for yourself. There is no one way. Then there is my community of friends who help along the way with my social habits. Maybe it is because I am retired, but work did lead me to the financial well-being part of me.
Sunday, June 15, 2025
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH
















































