GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO HAVE JOY IN YOUR LIFE

 GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO HAVE JOY IN YOUR LIFE

If we have the right mindset, we will be able to allow ourselves to feel joy, even when things aren't always perfect. What is truly always perfect? We can't live our lives as 'Debbie Downers'. We need to believe in finding joy in our lives. It is only up to ourselves to make that choice. The "small stuff" actually turns out to be the BIG stuff. It is all about finding joy in the small things all around us. This can make us feel good in that moment, but it goes so much further into our very souls.

It does require that we be alert and aware of what is going on all around us. A book that I read called The Gifts They Leave Behind is a wonderful example.

Loved ones who have left this Earth give us signs. The trick is to be aware of them. Mine happens to be a very special cardinal that comes to my birdfeeder almost daily and sometimes more than once a day. 

He shows up at the most amazing times, such as when I am questioning a financial decision, or a trip, just decisions that the two of us used to discuss. I just don't have him here physically with me to discuss ideas anymore. This could be quite sad. And to be honest, it is. What makes it not quite so sad is that he seems to know this and shows up as if to give me nods of approval.

Some things that he used to always see on his walks were special stones or coins right on the ground in front of him. He would always pick them up and keep the ones that he felt were special to him. I actually still have his collection. The only difference now is that I am more aware and find many new stones and coins myself. And of course, I keep those special ones that I find. It is as if he put them there for me to find. 

These are some of the things that help to bring joy to my life. And, yes! I can say that I am a happy person. It is all about finding moments when life all around you just feels good. Creating the kind of life that helps to bring me joy. Luckily, I learned that things do NOT have to be perfect. Let things go, and we can be pleasantly surprised at the pleasure that is all around by creating that kind of space for contentment.

Upon reviewing some research, I found that there are two kinds of happiness: hedonic, which is the kind that feels good in the moment, such as laughter or a breath of fresh air. Then there is Eudemonic happiness, which runs deeper than the moment. This brings peace and purpose, and just being true to ourselves.

A Harvard study of 80+ years confirms all of this by stating that many of us have learned. Joy does not come from status and/or success. It comes from meaningful connections and how we choose to engage in our days. Say to yourself, "Pay attention...this matters!" I am sure that you could make a list of so many little things that bring you joy throughout the day.

My suggestion is to work on making these moments happen more often. Give yourself permission to say no when you need to. Or to take a nap when you can - just because! Start in the morning with that first cup of coffee or tea in the quiet dawn. I do put up my Facebook mantras about coffee. And yes! I love my coffee. That first cup is my quiet time to think about what will bring me joy throughout the day. Even Steve knew how much I needed that. He usually brought my first cup of coffee to me in bed during the work week. In all fairness, on the weekends, I did the same with him for his morning tea. Or perhaps got the tea kettle going for his afternoon tea time. As I said before, it is so many of the little things that make the BIG things happen. Like JOY and LOVE!