TALKING TO OURSELVES

 TALKING TO OURSELVES

Research has shown that verbalizing our thoughts can actually improve our problem-solving skills. Many times this means talking out loud to ourselves. This facilitates orientation and concentration. It does this by boosting our own motivation to do something positive for ourselves. It is a way to prioritize using informative and structured decisions. This in turn helps to reduce stress in our lives. 

When facing challenges, whether it be work-related or even our own personal issues; reading about the pros and cons of our own situations, and then having a one-on-one conversation with ourselves is a very intelligent way to work on our own problem-solving techniques. 

Putting the wording of my own self-talk in 2nd or 3rd person is a huge motivation. Changing the self-talk from negative (YOU can't do this) to (YOU can do this) can be monumental in your motivation to accomplish a particular job or changing bad habits into good habits. YES, YOU CAN DO THIS! Through repetition of saying it out loud to yourself somehow is the magic trick. It channels negative thoughts into articulating them in a positive and objective light.

There are five levels of self-talk. The first one is all about the negative thoughts. I can't do that...if only I could...I wish that I could. Unfortunately, this is the most used form of self-talk and all it does is work against us.

The more positive would be Level II. This level acknowledges that we need to change. In our heads we are hearing, I need to...I ought to...I should. The recognition is there but something is missing - the solution.

Level III is actually making the decision to change. It is important to put this in the present tense as if it has already happened. Example: I want to lose weight so I need to say, "I am choosing healthy foods to improve my health." It is a way to reprogram my brain. This puts me in control.

Level IV has me thinking totally positively. I am making good choices for myself to achieve my goal. This fills my mind with self-belief, self-respect, and positive programming.

The last level, Level V is total universal affirmation. It has us to have more acceptance of ourselves. We see that we do matter and that there is meaning in our lives. No thought at any time can dwell in my mind without my permission. If it tries...I can choose to accept it or I can kick it out.

I know what I will choose, and I can positively say that it works. Do you remember back in the days when we would pass someone in public and think they were crazy because it seemed as though they were talking out loud to themselves? It was before earbuds became so popular. 

Next time someone catches you talking to yourself just say, "Science approves!" Or, if you want to try to have a sense of humor about it just say, "Yes, I am having an intelligent conversation with myself and I also answer myself."

THE WORLD OF BEING SINGLE!

 THE WORLD OF BEING SINGLE

However your circumstances of being in the land of singledom happened, there are some benefits of it. I am writing this blog as someone who has recently come to this conclusion. Becoming single was not supposed to be in the cards for me just yet. It was not until I lost my husband, my soulmate, and the once-in-a-lifetime love of my life that I was brought into this world. 

There are other ways such as a divorce or simply not meeting THE person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. I am not here to debate the causes - just to talk about the benefits. The reason for me to write about it is that I am finally coming to terms with my singledom and it is not such a bad deal since I can never have my life back the way it was before. It is a new day for me. And...this took a couple of years for me to come to terms with. 

Some of these benefits don't exactly fit me but nonetheless - they are benefits.

• Spontaneity is a perfect example- there is no one else to consider when you want to change your plans at the drop of a hat. It is less stressful and more calm.

• Choosing where you want to go on your trips - maybe the trip of your dreams, how long to stay, no compromising; even to restaurants, movies, plays, concerts, etc.

• Doing what you want with your friends and family. Cultivating those relationships. Never dealing with in-laws. Sometimes this can be no problem ever. (as in my case - I had the perfect mother-in-law) Then other times I hear the tales from others...😱

• Take up and use the whole bed all to yourself. Also, enjoy being as comfy as you want when you want.

• Work on self-care and becoming your authentic self. Enjoy the solitude to recharge and just enjoy life. You are in charge of setting your own boundaries and where you are headed in your own personal growth.

Singledom does not mean that it is meant for you to do all alone. It is fine to go out alone but it also is fun to have someone to just go out and have a coffee, a meal, or watch a movie with. In singledom - you have this choice! How wonderful that can be! Relationships are not just one on one. There are many more and all kinds to enjoy.

There is one important thing to remember:

You will always be there for YOU!

😊

DARE TO IMAGINE

DARE TO IMAGINE

 

Can you dare to imagine the possibilities in your future? It does not matter about your age; the possibilities are endless. All one needs to do is to get really excited and don't stop thinking about it or even more than one particular thing. Putting things off till tomorrow is not the way to go. Sometimes it takes getting out of our comfort zones to move ahead. This is not always a comfortable feeling. Do you dare to truly envision your future self; whether you are 20 or 60 or 70 or 80. What is in your future?

If you are in the latter age group that I listed, then you already are quite aware that there is no ONE path. Life happens and sometimes dreams must be put on the back burner. Don't let them simmer there too long, is all that I saying. Once we realize that, it can make us understand there are no impossibilities. 

Don't let others hold your dreams and passions hostage. Nothing is impossible. Even the word possible is within that word itself. Find what makes you happy and then do more of it. Why put it off to another time? That 'other time' may not come. Live like there is no tomorrow. Enjoy life NOW. Many older people will tell you this is the honest truth and that they wish that they had done more earlier. 

If you are still employed and soon to retire (or dreaming of it) then start now working on what you will do. Yes, of course, you will enjoy retirement but will you if you are spending time in a rocking chair or do you have a passion that you want to hone in on if you only had the time. When you retire then you will have the time. I can write, paint, blog, and read - all at my choice of time to do it. It is an amazing feeling.

Truly, it makes one feel more alive, more vibrant, more invigorated. Such a wonderful feeling.

~  There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly. ~