IMAGINE

 IMAGINE

Imagine is my word for 2024. I stopped making resolutions quite a few years ago and began choosing a word that would mean something to me throughout the year to help me become a better person all around, hopefully. 

First of all, I love John Lennon's song. It has so many levels of creativity and does make me think that if we all could imagine all of the people living life in peace it would be a beautiful world. He even goes on to say in his lyrics that some may say he is a dreamer but he knows he is not the only one. So many of us wish that the world will live as one! What a wonderful place that would be. 

In my own opinion and in my own little world, I know that more and more people need to come together to make things better in our world. Starting small is not being overly optimistic. Just do what we each can do in our own ways. 

Setting goals for yourself to make this a better world is just one place to start. For example, I plan on saying, "Good morning or good evening or even, have a great day," to at least 3 strangers every day that I am out and about. Also, giving a smile as I say it. A smile is free. Being kind is free. It can snowball to other people.

If I can imagine then I can create. Create a great story, a beautiful picture, a delicious dinner, a stylish room decor...the list can go on and on. Anything that I can imagine is real. It can take me to another world because the world of imagination is boundless. The world of reality has limits. I have decided that I do NOT want to live with limits.

Today is the first day of 365 days that I can work on using all of my gears. I know that I have some gears that I have never used but I plan on trying them out - step by step. 

The good news is that I actually have started already. With my word from last year (hope) spurring me on to take a healthy journey for myself - it was then easy to move on to my word 'IMAGINE'.

With my goals in place, I can totally picture and imagine my health continuing to improve, feeling better and better and working on finding and accepting all of the signs that Steve leaves for me that he is still around me. Whether it be the red cardinal looking in and staring at me when I am sitting at my desk, or a ladybug that lands on my car windshield or the robin in the yard singing. 

Also, there have been little things that have happened in our home that have no reasonable explanation except that Steve must had a part in it. One example is the kitchen clock. Twice my daughter saw both hands spin around backwards very fast and then stop after a couple of minutes on the exact time that it was. By the time someone came in to see it, of course, it had stopped. Except one time I was in with her when it happened. We both were watching in awe. It never has happened since then but what is the explanation for that? 

There have been a few other examples and just as the lyrics to John Lennon's song, "You may say I'm a dreamer," and you may. Meanwhile, I will just keep on imagining a better world and saying yes to new adventures. I want to make every day count and to always be curious, embracing my journey. There is so much to see.

 

HOW'S YOUR PERSONALITY?

 HOW'S YOUR PERSONALITY?

Everyone has a personality made up of unique patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that set you apart from others. This set of traits is a result of our biology and our life experiences. All of us have traits in our personalities that are considered "good" and "bad." 

Research has shown that having more of the good traits can prevent disease and help us live longer. On the other hand, the so-called bad traits tend to have less healthy lifestyle habits and more stress. This can lead to the development of certain diseases. There is good news though. Research also shows that personality traits are flexible and can change over our lifetime. lt is a matter of recognizing these traits and working on changing or modifying them.

Optimism is a positive outlook on life that has a strong influence on our health and well-being. The National Academy of Sciences discovered that people with self-rated high optimism tended to lead healthier lives and had a higher likelihood of reaching 85 years or older. The reasons have not been specifically determined but the hypothesis seems to be that optimistic people have lower inflammation levels, healthier cholesterol profiles and tend to have healthier habits. Therefore, they cope better with illness and recovery and are more resilient. Genetics that play in that optimism is about 25 - 35% heritable. 

Conscientiousness is a trait that is characterized by a person's tendency to be organized, responsible, and diligent in their actions. In general, they are more reliable and have a strong sense of duty. Research shows they also have better health and live longer based on a study  in Health Psychology. They are more proactive about their health and getting regular check-ups with follow-throughs. Conscientiousness also leads to a healthier brain which improves cognitive functioning and lowers the risk of dementia or Alzheimer's disease.

Extroversion is a trait where people tend to thrive in social settings and gain energy from interactions with others. Whereas, introverts tend to like the solitary environments and they recharge by reflecting inward. It is not that one is better than the other, as long as they are balanced. It always helps to be open to new experiences. That involves curiosity and a willingness to explore new ideas. Happier people tend to have lower stress levels.

Agreeableness does NOT just mean saying yes to everything all of the time. It is more of cultivating harmony by being cooperative, compassionate, and considerate in our interactions with others. It shows that you value interpersonal relationships more and are more empathetic to the feelings and needs of those around you. 

All of these traits can be worked on individually to help maintain a healthy personality. And yes, there is such a thing. The more that I have read about people living long lives the more it is evident that they are on the more optimistic side of life. That is how all of the traits that I have listed fit together. 

Just like the song from the Monty Python movie says: 

START YOUR DAY WITH A SMILE

 START YOUR DAY WITH A SMILE

This statement is so very true. Sometimes, I must be reminded of it by making myself just stop and think about what it is saying and all that I have to be grateful for and exactly why I not only 'should' be smiling but what happens when I do.

The example that I am going to scribble down today happened to me early Saturday. I was up and ready to be on the road to get to the train station at 6:45 AM. So happy to be riding The City of New Orleans down to see all of the Brownies. (This is my nickname for my son and his wife and my precious twin granddaughters.) Lucky for me, my SIL mapped out the route to avoid the closed roads for the St. Jude Marathon. We had no trouble at all. That helped to put a smile on my face even though I had lost something that I really needed to take with me the night before. My sweet youngest granddaughter searched everywhere at our home with her Mom after we left and crawling on the floor she found it. Jenni called me to tell me on our ride to Central Station but there was no turning back. I thanked her profusely and I knew that it was not the end of the world to wait until I returned to take care of this issue. Plus, I told her that she would receive a reward for her Piggy Bank for finding it. So the smile went back on my face.

Craig and I made it to approximately where the train car was that I would be riding in and my suitcase handle that made it easy to pull the wheeled luggage along did not want to cooperate. Finally, he got it out but when we got to my car, the attendant, nor Craig could get the long handle to go back down. The accommodating attendant, with a SMILE on her face, said there was no problem even though it would not fit with the long handle opened in the luggage compartment. She took it to an empty room where it would be safe. All I needed to do was to remind her where it was when I arrived in New Orleans.

I was still smiling, like a kid in a candy shop on my peaceful train ride to see the Brownies. The one thing that was on my mind is that the last time I was on this train ride, my ticket was marked assistance needed for the disabled. I had crutches that I needed at times for my arthritic knees. This time, I was so grateful to be able to step up on the train, tote my own carry-on luggage (a backpack that held my small handbag too). Also, the bedrooms and roomettes were all the dog-legged steps to the top of the train. I always get the bedroom, that is a little more private plus has the bathroom in the room. That is very nice to not walk down the aisles of the moving train to the public bathroom that sometimes has a line. 

Getting to my room and getting settled felt really good. I had about 20 minutes before the train would be moving along. My attendant told me where the coffee was just down the aisle if I wanted some  before breakfast was served. I walked down to get my coffee. I passed the car restroom and commented that I was so thankful that I had my own. She politely told me that not one single individual or public restroom on my car was working. She repeated to definitely NOT use any of them. By then the train was moving slowly. DANG! I figured that I had better follow her directions down the aisleway to the next car where there was a line to use the bathroom. REALLY? By the time I made it close to the door a man in front of me saw that I was leaning on the wall and let me go ahead of him. He was waiting for his son to come out. A woman behind me told me that she and her husband got the bedroom with the bathroom in it due to him having stomach issues and needing to be close by a restroom. (Good luck with that one!) 

Already, just a couple of hours from starting my day, I had been given so many reasons to smile and to be grateful. I had a choice to make. Be grumpy and use extra muscles to frown and be a Debbie Downer, or to count all of my gratitudes and smile to share with the world. It is so true that if you start your day with a smile then the day will smile back at you. There would be time to talk to Customer Support on Monday when they opened. I remember listening to Steve solve issues and his motto was that you catch more flies with sugar. No employee on this train could solve this problem. Time to deal with this when I call on Monday.

Everyone in the car that I was riding in were all were moaning and groaning. I actually closed my sliding door to drown them out. Taking a cue from my attendant as she smiled and was pleasant through all of the passengers' complaining: 'Be strong. You never know who you are inspiring.' She definitely inspired me. I, in turn, wanted to be an inspiration for others also. Sometimes it works and if it doesn't then that is just the way that cookie will crumble. At least I know that I tried. The bonus was that it made ME feel better. Call it 'cheesy' if you wish. But this meme is how I was feeling. What is the point of getting an attitude about this situation that no one could control at this moment.

I made it to New Orleans, walked the length of the train up to the station instead of being taken in golf cart with my luggage and crutches only to meet up with my son, Doug, Emma and Hazel. What a wonderful start to being in New Orleans with my family. 

Home to unpack, freshen up and amazingly still have enough energy to change clothes and head out to a fun Christmas party with Doug and Lizzie. 

ALWAYS!

WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

 WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

 What exactly is Thanksgiving all about? In general, I would think that it is a large group of us in the United States that believe it is a long list of things such as:

food, food, and more food

football

family

friends

Macy's Day parade

decorating for the holidays

resting

Black Friday shopping

Those are some of the things that come to my mind. I do remember my first Thanksgiving with Steve. I asked him, quite innocently, about what did his family do for the Thanksgiving. Without a blink of an eye he said that they celebrated because they sent all of the 'Yanks' off in ships to America. 

I fell for that one BIG TIME. He graciously always celebrated Thanksgiving with me and my family. Sometimes it was just the two of us and other times it was a very large crowd. He even joined in by making some of his own unique British dishes, such as real roast potatoes. They quickly became one of the favorite dishes of everyone at our gatherings. 

Over the years we tried many different ways of celebrating. Some traditions we kept, while others were tweaked here and there. 

I miss our Thanksgivings together. I miss being with him - just plain and simple. All the times together. Now we have new celebrations in different ways. Still good and I still hold him in my heart always. Thinking how he would get a big kick out of his granddaughters and his daughter and sons. His granddaughters all remember him and mention him in such sweet ways and their own memories. 

He would have enjoyed watching the four granddaughters playing outside when the weather permitted. Going on the long walk with them around the lake with the dogs. On the rainy day we all headed for Neon Memphis Monster Miniature Golf. Inside neon monsters based on the Memphis music scene - right up his alley. Probably he would have joined me staying home when they headed to the new Troll movie. I enjoyed just having a little quiet time and preparing a pot of chili for the rainy gray and chilly day. We also had quite a few good leftovers so it was a free for all kind of night for dinner.

Lots of football to watch. Kids played games. And then by the actual day of Thanksgiving they had to get back home to New Orleans and we headed out to even more family for a big get-together. This time there were eleven humans and six dogs. We brought our two and others were there also. The food was wonderful and everyone was having a very grateful Thanksgiving. We all had a lot to be thankful for. Blessed? Yes! 

It was a gorgeous Fall day. So most of us were outside enjoying the sunshine, with our lightweight jackets. The dogs were totally having the time of their lives, just running around and being happy in the big fenced yard. However, we all witnessed a crazy little "love" thing going on. One very handsome golden retriever named Finley seemed to fall totally in love with our goldendoodle, Maggie Mae. He followed her everywhere, kissing her on her ears, watching her every move and never leaving her side. 

After eating, watching football, watching the dogs and kids playing we headed home for some quiet time. The next day we planned on decorating and decorating we did. Everyone got involved. Craig took care of the outside lighting and we worked on the inside.

Just as we had a special place for Steve's stocking with our Moms' stockings, we decided to put Davis' stocking on the stairs with the other two dogs. He was with us last year but we lost him not long afterwards. It really brings tears to my eyes when I think about the wonderful memories of the holidays before they left us. And, that is how Steve would want it...tears of joy and happiness in remembering and celebrating...no sadness. Easier said than done but I am working on it. The good memories are easy. Wanting more? Yes, I do. Is that selfish? Maybe. But these are my honest feelings. To still want hugs and kisses and talks and hearing and saying I love you...They must be in my heart and dreams and they always will be.

When we lose someone we love, we must learn not to live without them but to live with the love they left behind.

AND WOW - STEVE and DAVIS LEFT LOADS!

 💕

BE PROUD

 BE PROUD

At this time in my life, I know that I am making my tomorrow self proud with what I am doing today. It is totally awesome to feel this way. Why? It makes me happy. Happiness in all of our lives is so very important. It has been proven as a factor to help in living longer. Add that to what I am working on for my own health? Now, I am hoping to at least be more comfortable within myself. Losing 80 pounds is a really good start. Not only do I feel happier; let's just say I feel the weight of the world off of my shoulders...and my knee joints, and my back, and my feet. The list goes on and on.

If I start from the beginning, about 7 months ago I made a commitment to myself to do something about my weight. It was making me so UNHAPPY. Finally, the clothes that I had in my closet no longer fit. I was needing to go up to the next category - what I called the 'Big Mama' clothes. I can say that for me it was a wake up call. I do not mean to offend anyone who is in that category of clothing. It just was not for me. I will never judge anyone else and I expect the same from others concerning me. Others never know about what may be going on in the lives of other people unless they have walked in their shoes.

For me, I had a little weight to lose before the love of my life passed away unexpectedly. Not a whole lot of weight. I knew that I could work on it and actually had already started watching the carbs and such to work on. Without even realizing what I was doing, I went into an emotional eating disorder. Those are my words now as I look back. If anyone had said anything to me, I can assure you that I would not have listened and would have been in total denial. It took me, myself and I to finally see the 'LIGHT.'

It took me a while to get on board with my journey for the rest of my life. I had a very good friend who took the journey three years earlier and looked fantastic. I never realized that she had 45 or so pounds to lose. She did not appear to be overweight to me. Of course, I was looking through my rose colored glasses. Plus, the second amazing thing was that she had kept the weight off now for over 3 years. That was the key. Learning a lifestyle of eating habits. It is a matter of not living to eat but eating to live.

Yes, I agree, that it is nice to enjoy a good meal of some of our favorite foods. Spacing those 'good foods' is the trick; along with portion control. 

One way that I try to make my tomorrow self proud is by working on something challenging to me (such as taking this life journey of healthy eating and losing extra weight). All the while focusing on my purpose for doing it vs. indulging in self-doubt. It can be a matter of practicing gratitude and reaching out to connect with others. I have discovered there is a whole community of others who are following this journey that I have chosen for my health. 

At the end of the day, what really matters isn't what others think of me. What matters is how I feel about me. That is when I know that thinking about my future self is helpful because it changes my perspective and increases the timeline so that I am able to see the impact of my actions. I know that I want to be healthier so is it worth it to drive my car through the drive-thru window and get some fries? My tomorrow self shouts out a big fat, "NO!"

Words such as create, inspire, balance, smile and progress, along with so many others are words that I reflect on as I think about continuing my journey and are what help to make me proud of me.

It is all about changing up my overall lifestyle. A new mindset, so to speak. And then to be proud of the changes. 

WHERE IS YOUR EMOTIONAL ENERGY LEVEL?

 WHERE IS YOUR EMOTIONAL ENERGY LEVEL?

There are people in all of our lives that just fill us up with positive energy. They uplift us. They are fun to be around and give us support and love. I am sure that everyone could name at least five people who have this characteristic. They can be people that you work with, people who are neighbors or friends. They can be people in your family. 

These people all have similar traits such as being understanding of your feelings, always looking on the brighter side, quick to forgive, understanding and encouraging.

In other words, they build our energy levels up high. We want to be around them. It is always good to share in this endeavor. Why? Because we do live in a self-serving, self-centered, and self-obsessed modern day society. Everyone rushing here and rushing there. It is always a good idea to try to differentiate  ourselves in this kind of world. If we all try to become more people oriented then I believe that is where we will start to build a better world - one person at a time.

Start with working on learning how to be happy yourself. Once you are then you will not want to be around people who make you feel anything less.

People who support and love us make us feel happier. It is a circle of happiness. These are the kinds of people that we all want to be around. It also is what each of us should strive for. Our inner atmosphere either fuels others with energy or drains them. Which would you rather be?

We all have known people who are like a dark gray cloud hanging over us. It almost seeps inside of us if we allow it to. It is much nicer to feel the sunshine.

To do this it is important to know what signs to look out for when others are energy vampires.

How do we survive energy vampires? First, look out for those who don't take any accountability. Often, they are very charismatic and know how to slink out of trouble with their charm. They tend to always be involved in some kind of drama and find themselves in the middle of a major catastrophe quite often. They try to drag others around them into the drama with them. Know anyone like this?

Another type of energy vampire just never seems to have good news. If you asked them politely, "How are you today?" Don't expect a short answer. They will go into lengthy health details of everything that is wrong with them. If you allow it to happen, they will drain your energy levels and cause you the stress that has built up in their bodies and minds.

The bottom line is that we all need to be able to recognize these behaviors in others and put an end to it in order to protect our own health and well-being. We all have choices to make and their burdens are not ours to bear. Adjusting our expectations will help and establishing the boundaries. 

Have you ever had a check in time with yourself just to help you to know where your own energy level is? That let's us know if we need to adjust it. Asking ourselves whether we wish to be the uplifting friend or the energy zapper vampire - then choosing who it is that we want to be around. It sets it all into motion.

Here is a quote that is a great reminder:

HAPPINESS

 HAPPINESS

That statement seems to be very positive. And it is. It also is sometimes easier said than done for many. Really, it is all about knowing what has been found as the key to happiness. A Harvard study that has been going on for 85 years discovered that it is not money, not achievements, not success, and it is not even about where you live or the number of sunshiny days that we have. There may be some people who would argue that last point. There are therapists who see people who have legitimate depression and are prescribed seasonal therapy lamps for those who need help through depression based on lack of sunshine.

The study found that the #1 contributor to happiness is having strong positive relationships in your life. When I stop and think about it, my happiest moments are when I am with other people. The people that I love. The people that make me feel good. These people can be people in my family or neighbors, or co-workers. In general, they are people who make me feel good and hopefully being around me makes them feel good too. It reminds me of the song that Barbra Streisand sings: People Who Need People Are the Luckiest People In the World. And who is going to argue with those words. Why? Because it is true.

Some of my most happiest moments were most definitely with the love of my life. It could be alone time with him or together with him and others who made us happy to be around, whether it be family or friends. When we were going through the pandemic, we were together constantly, as many families were. It definitely was better than being home all alone. At least we had each other. And it made us happy to be together. 

When you are with those that make you happy, of course they give you peace of mind. Not so much 'the things' that will make us happy but 'the things' that people bring to the relationship. That is the true feeling of peace of mind. I know that when I no longer had Steve in my life, physically, the hardest part of healing was working on recovering "the me" that went away with him. In order to be happy this was something that I had to work on. It is a part of the grieving process. It is different for everyone. No time limits on each step of the way. It is important thought to eventually get to finding the 'you' and being happy. Our loved ones would want it that way. So let's just end on that note: