TRAIN YOUR BRAIN

 TRAIN YOUR BRAIN

There really is a way to train our brains to help whenever we find ourselves becoming increasingly frustrated when things go wrong. Because, let's face it. "STUFF" happens. It can be as simple as spilling coffee over our white shirt to our flights being delayed or even canceled. There actually are some ways to work on training our brains to cope better when difficult things happen. 

Reading about some of the coping strategies helped to make me more aware of what I was already using, as well as some new things to go about coping. One new way in particular was called the 'Rule of 12.' Dr. Daniel  shared this trick when things don't go as planned. The trick is to remember to write down on paper or jot it down in the notes on your phone each thing that irritates you as it happens. Where the trick comes in to play is that you express anger only after the 13th event happened. That way we are saving ourselves from the exhaustion of constant frustration. This helps us to stay psychologically healthy and mentally strong. The very fact of knowing that we have the power to change our negative thoughts by being aware of them rather than consumed by them.

If you think about it, just a ten mile drive to work can cause things that irritate us. That guy who is honking his horn because you did not start up the very second the light turned green, or the guy who butted in front of you on the interstate with barely enough room between you and the car in front of you...the list can go on and on. Not to mention things at work or going in the grocery store, or completing tasks on the computer. We all come across frustrating events. The trick is to get the right mindset to deal with these events. Taking a step back and asking ourselves what exactly is going through our minds at the time that we felt that emotion. Asking ourselves what would a specific, positive friend say in response to the situation and then ask whether it will really matter that much in a day, a week, a month or even in a year. 

Challenging our negative thoughts, rather than accepting them is a way to work on training our brains. I, for one, must remember that it may just be my perception rather than reality. Our brains get in the habit for looking for the bad in each day, so we need to look for the good instead. Looking for opportunities instead of seeing frustration always seem to help my thought patterns. Believe and Hope were my words to live by in 2022 and 2023. This year it is Imagine. 

This helps me use the right vocabulary to get through my days with less frustration. Instead of saying, "Get through my days," I like to think of it as being able to choose what I give my attention to and set my own boundaries. Choosing what is really important and what I can just let go of. 

Another way to look at it is accepting my emotions and stop judging them. Always look for that dose of HOPE! And then IMAGINE!

For me, the key is HOPE!

Just IMAGINE!

WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY

WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY

This quote struck a bell with me because until I found my special weight loss journey, it was exactly how I felt. Up until I made my decision to take a life long journey for my health and started to see actual results, I never knew the feeling of the release of that weight. And, I might add, I am not talking about just the release of pounds. That is a big release but there is so much more involved.

    Up until the time that I made my decision, I was feeling like nothing would ever work and this is just how I would be for the rest of my life. It seems that I had tried everything. I was the typical yo-yo dieter.

Finally, after much research I found a healthy plan for me. It is not a diet. It is a lifestyle. It is the way that most people eat who do not have a weight problem. It was a big decision.

Yes, losing weight is hard but for me being fat was harder on me. My joints, my energy, my attitude - none of which were in a good place to be so I had a BIG decision to make.

My journey had to be healthy. After doing my own research several things kept coming up over and over again.

• Calories matter most for weight loss. To be honest, I don't do well with counting those calories. I just want to be in a calorie deficit so that I can lose weight. I found my journey that gives me that.
• Protein and fiber are important - It helps to read up on which ones are better for you and how much you can eat to keep you in a calorie deficit.
• High volume eating helps - for me this means eating healthy food with low calories often throughout the day. Basically eating in spaced out time frames so that I don't get hungry and grab something that I should not have.
• Exercise is not as important as you may think for weight loss. It is healthy to get up and move. Yes. But hard core exercise was not the answer for me. My recumbent bike works perfectly. 

• When I chose other "diets" it was true that I lost. Remember that 'cabbage' diet. But just as soon as you go back to normal eating, or whatever one believes to be normal, the weight will creep back on. If it can't be maintained then the results won't be maintained. And who could live on cabbage forever?
• Weighing myself once a day or even once a week may not be the best approach for me. My weight fluctuates so much that weighing monthly is my new way of checking out how I am doing. Truly, I can tell more in my clothes and how they fit than what the scales say. I have noticed that I feel happier and my emotions are not tied to that number on those scales.

• Getting back on track after 'slip-ups' and thinking long term is a MUST. I had a good plan for the holiday season. Something that I thought would work for me. Then, I became ill with what finally was diagnosed as a bacterial sinusitis and ear infection. I was placed on a very strong antibiotic. I had positively no appetite. No energy and spent 5 days in bed sleeping and resting. When I did eat and drink, it was a half a mug of chicken noodle soup and ginger ale plus some water. One would think that when I did start to feel better that weight loss would have happened. NOPE! It took me a while to get back on track. My first light meal consisted of a grilled cheese sandwich with the soup. I then made my goal to get myself back on track on New Year's Day. I won't say it was easy. Getting back into drinking my 8 cups of water each day has been harder this time around. My small meals were working but having the energy to make salads to go with my protein took a little more effort. I am proud to say that I am now back on target. With my motivation, getting enough sleep and seeing my energy levels returning to where they were is what has helped to work for me. 
• The big thing to remember is what works for me might not work for you. We are all individuals so it is important for each one of us to find what will work for us. 

IMAGINE

 IMAGINE

Imagine is my word for 2024. I stopped making resolutions quite a few years ago and began choosing a word that would mean something to me throughout the year to help me become a better person all around, hopefully. 

First of all, I love John Lennon's song. It has so many levels of creativity and does make me think that if we all could imagine all of the people living life in peace it would be a beautiful world. He even goes on to say in his lyrics that some may say he is a dreamer but he knows he is not the only one. So many of us wish that the world will live as one! What a wonderful place that would be. 

In my own opinion and in my own little world, I know that more and more people need to come together to make things better in our world. Starting small is not being overly optimistic. Just do what we each can do in our own ways. 

Setting goals for yourself to make this a better world is just one place to start. For example, I plan on saying, "Good morning or good evening or even, have a great day," to at least 3 strangers every day that I am out and about. Also, giving a smile as I say it. A smile is free. Being kind is free. It can snowball to other people.

If I can imagine then I can create. Create a great story, a beautiful picture, a delicious dinner, a stylish room decor...the list can go on and on. Anything that I can imagine is real. It can take me to another world because the world of imagination is boundless. The world of reality has limits. I have decided that I do NOT want to live with limits.

Today is the first day of 365 days that I can work on using all of my gears. I know that I have some gears that I have never used but I plan on trying them out - step by step. 

The good news is that I actually have started already. With my word from last year (hope) spurring me on to take a healthy journey for myself - it was then easy to move on to my word 'IMAGINE'.

With my goals in place, I can totally picture and imagine my health continuing to improve, feeling better and better and working on finding and accepting all of the signs that Steve leaves for me that he is still around me. Whether it be the red cardinal looking in and staring at me when I am sitting at my desk, or a ladybug that lands on my car windshield or the robin in the yard singing. 

Also, there have been little things that have happened in our home that have no reasonable explanation except that Steve must had a part in it. One example is the kitchen clock. Twice my daughter saw both hands spin around backwards very fast and then stop after a couple of minutes on the exact time that it was. By the time someone came in to see it, of course, it had stopped. Except one time I was in with her when it happened. We both were watching in awe. It never has happened since then but what is the explanation for that? 

There have been a few other examples and just as the lyrics to John Lennon's song, "You may say I'm a dreamer," and you may. Meanwhile, I will just keep on imagining a better world and saying yes to new adventures. I want to make every day count and to always be curious, embracing my journey. There is so much to see.

 

HOW'S YOUR PERSONALITY?

 HOW'S YOUR PERSONALITY?

Everyone has a personality made up of unique patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that set you apart from others. This set of traits is a result of our biology and our life experiences. All of us have traits in our personalities that are considered "good" and "bad." 

Research has shown that having more of the good traits can prevent disease and help us live longer. On the other hand, the so-called bad traits tend to have less healthy lifestyle habits and more stress. This can lead to the development of certain diseases. There is good news though. Research also shows that personality traits are flexible and can change over our lifetime. lt is a matter of recognizing these traits and working on changing or modifying them.

Optimism is a positive outlook on life that has a strong influence on our health and well-being. The National Academy of Sciences discovered that people with self-rated high optimism tended to lead healthier lives and had a higher likelihood of reaching 85 years or older. The reasons have not been specifically determined but the hypothesis seems to be that optimistic people have lower inflammation levels, healthier cholesterol profiles and tend to have healthier habits. Therefore, they cope better with illness and recovery and are more resilient. Genetics that play in that optimism is about 25 - 35% heritable. 

Conscientiousness is a trait that is characterized by a person's tendency to be organized, responsible, and diligent in their actions. In general, they are more reliable and have a strong sense of duty. Research shows they also have better health and live longer based on a study  in Health Psychology. They are more proactive about their health and getting regular check-ups with follow-throughs. Conscientiousness also leads to a healthier brain which improves cognitive functioning and lowers the risk of dementia or Alzheimer's disease.

Extroversion is a trait where people tend to thrive in social settings and gain energy from interactions with others. Whereas, introverts tend to like the solitary environments and they recharge by reflecting inward. It is not that one is better than the other, as long as they are balanced. It always helps to be open to new experiences. That involves curiosity and a willingness to explore new ideas. Happier people tend to have lower stress levels.

Agreeableness does NOT just mean saying yes to everything all of the time. It is more of cultivating harmony by being cooperative, compassionate, and considerate in our interactions with others. It shows that you value interpersonal relationships more and are more empathetic to the feelings and needs of those around you. 

All of these traits can be worked on individually to help maintain a healthy personality. And yes, there is such a thing. The more that I have read about people living long lives the more it is evident that they are on the more optimistic side of life. That is how all of the traits that I have listed fit together. 

Just like the song from the Monty Python movie says: 

START YOUR DAY WITH A SMILE

 START YOUR DAY WITH A SMILE

This statement is so very true. Sometimes, I must be reminded of it by making myself just stop and think about what it is saying and all that I have to be grateful for and exactly why I not only 'should' be smiling but what happens when I do.

The example that I am going to scribble down today happened to me early Saturday. I was up and ready to be on the road to get to the train station at 6:45 AM. So happy to be riding The City of New Orleans down to see all of the Brownies. (This is my nickname for my son and his wife and my precious twin granddaughters.) Lucky for me, my SIL mapped out the route to avoid the closed roads for the St. Jude Marathon. We had no trouble at all. That helped to put a smile on my face even though I had lost something that I really needed to take with me the night before. My sweet youngest granddaughter searched everywhere at our home with her Mom after we left and crawling on the floor she found it. Jenni called me to tell me on our ride to Central Station but there was no turning back. I thanked her profusely and I knew that it was not the end of the world to wait until I returned to take care of this issue. Plus, I told her that she would receive a reward for her Piggy Bank for finding it. So the smile went back on my face.

Craig and I made it to approximately where the train car was that I would be riding in and my suitcase handle that made it easy to pull the wheeled luggage along did not want to cooperate. Finally, he got it out but when we got to my car, the attendant, nor Craig could get the long handle to go back down. The accommodating attendant, with a SMILE on her face, said there was no problem even though it would not fit with the long handle opened in the luggage compartment. She took it to an empty room where it would be safe. All I needed to do was to remind her where it was when I arrived in New Orleans.

I was still smiling, like a kid in a candy shop on my peaceful train ride to see the Brownies. The one thing that was on my mind is that the last time I was on this train ride, my ticket was marked assistance needed for the disabled. I had crutches that I needed at times for my arthritic knees. This time, I was so grateful to be able to step up on the train, tote my own carry-on luggage (a backpack that held my small handbag too). Also, the bedrooms and roomettes were all the dog-legged steps to the top of the train. I always get the bedroom, that is a little more private plus has the bathroom in the room. That is very nice to not walk down the aisles of the moving train to the public bathroom that sometimes has a line. 

Getting to my room and getting settled felt really good. I had about 20 minutes before the train would be moving along. My attendant told me where the coffee was just down the aisle if I wanted some  before breakfast was served. I walked down to get my coffee. I passed the car restroom and commented that I was so thankful that I had my own. She politely told me that not one single individual or public restroom on my car was working. She repeated to definitely NOT use any of them. By then the train was moving slowly. DANG! I figured that I had better follow her directions down the aisleway to the next car where there was a line to use the bathroom. REALLY? By the time I made it close to the door a man in front of me saw that I was leaning on the wall and let me go ahead of him. He was waiting for his son to come out. A woman behind me told me that she and her husband got the bedroom with the bathroom in it due to him having stomach issues and needing to be close by a restroom. (Good luck with that one!) 

Already, just a couple of hours from starting my day, I had been given so many reasons to smile and to be grateful. I had a choice to make. Be grumpy and use extra muscles to frown and be a Debbie Downer, or to count all of my gratitudes and smile to share with the world. It is so true that if you start your day with a smile then the day will smile back at you. There would be time to talk to Customer Support on Monday when they opened. I remember listening to Steve solve issues and his motto was that you catch more flies with sugar. No employee on this train could solve this problem. Time to deal with this when I call on Monday.

Everyone in the car that I was riding in were all were moaning and groaning. I actually closed my sliding door to drown them out. Taking a cue from my attendant as she smiled and was pleasant through all of the passengers' complaining: 'Be strong. You never know who you are inspiring.' She definitely inspired me. I, in turn, wanted to be an inspiration for others also. Sometimes it works and if it doesn't then that is just the way that cookie will crumble. At least I know that I tried. The bonus was that it made ME feel better. Call it 'cheesy' if you wish. But this meme is how I was feeling. What is the point of getting an attitude about this situation that no one could control at this moment.

I made it to New Orleans, walked the length of the train up to the station instead of being taken in golf cart with my luggage and crutches only to meet up with my son, Doug, Emma and Hazel. What a wonderful start to being in New Orleans with my family. 

Home to unpack, freshen up and amazingly still have enough energy to change clothes and head out to a fun Christmas party with Doug and Lizzie. 

ALWAYS!

WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

 WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

 What exactly is Thanksgiving all about? In general, I would think that it is a large group of us in the United States that believe it is a long list of things such as:

food, food, and more food

football

family

friends

Macy's Day parade

decorating for the holidays

resting

Black Friday shopping

Those are some of the things that come to my mind. I do remember my first Thanksgiving with Steve. I asked him, quite innocently, about what did his family do for the Thanksgiving. Without a blink of an eye he said that they celebrated because they sent all of the 'Yanks' off in ships to America. 

I fell for that one BIG TIME. He graciously always celebrated Thanksgiving with me and my family. Sometimes it was just the two of us and other times it was a very large crowd. He even joined in by making some of his own unique British dishes, such as real roast potatoes. They quickly became one of the favorite dishes of everyone at our gatherings. 

Over the years we tried many different ways of celebrating. Some traditions we kept, while others were tweaked here and there. 

I miss our Thanksgivings together. I miss being with him - just plain and simple. All the times together. Now we have new celebrations in different ways. Still good and I still hold him in my heart always. Thinking how he would get a big kick out of his granddaughters and his daughter and sons. His granddaughters all remember him and mention him in such sweet ways and their own memories. 

He would have enjoyed watching the four granddaughters playing outside when the weather permitted. Going on the long walk with them around the lake with the dogs. On the rainy day we all headed for Neon Memphis Monster Miniature Golf. Inside neon monsters based on the Memphis music scene - right up his alley. Probably he would have joined me staying home when they headed to the new Troll movie. I enjoyed just having a little quiet time and preparing a pot of chili for the rainy gray and chilly day. We also had quite a few good leftovers so it was a free for all kind of night for dinner.

Lots of football to watch. Kids played games. And then by the actual day of Thanksgiving they had to get back home to New Orleans and we headed out to even more family for a big get-together. This time there were eleven humans and six dogs. We brought our two and others were there also. The food was wonderful and everyone was having a very grateful Thanksgiving. We all had a lot to be thankful for. Blessed? Yes! 

It was a gorgeous Fall day. So most of us were outside enjoying the sunshine, with our lightweight jackets. The dogs were totally having the time of their lives, just running around and being happy in the big fenced yard. However, we all witnessed a crazy little "love" thing going on. One very handsome golden retriever named Finley seemed to fall totally in love with our goldendoodle, Maggie Mae. He followed her everywhere, kissing her on her ears, watching her every move and never leaving her side. 

After eating, watching football, watching the dogs and kids playing we headed home for some quiet time. The next day we planned on decorating and decorating we did. Everyone got involved. Craig took care of the outside lighting and we worked on the inside.

Just as we had a special place for Steve's stocking with our Moms' stockings, we decided to put Davis' stocking on the stairs with the other two dogs. He was with us last year but we lost him not long afterwards. It really brings tears to my eyes when I think about the wonderful memories of the holidays before they left us. And, that is how Steve would want it...tears of joy and happiness in remembering and celebrating...no sadness. Easier said than done but I am working on it. The good memories are easy. Wanting more? Yes, I do. Is that selfish? Maybe. But these are my honest feelings. To still want hugs and kisses and talks and hearing and saying I love you...They must be in my heart and dreams and they always will be.

When we lose someone we love, we must learn not to live without them but to live with the love they left behind.

AND WOW - STEVE and DAVIS LEFT LOADS!

 💕

BE PROUD

 BE PROUD

At this time in my life, I know that I am making my tomorrow self proud with what I am doing today. It is totally awesome to feel this way. Why? It makes me happy. Happiness in all of our lives is so very important. It has been proven as a factor to help in living longer. Add that to what I am working on for my own health? Now, I am hoping to at least be more comfortable within myself. Losing 80 pounds is a really good start. Not only do I feel happier; let's just say I feel the weight of the world off of my shoulders...and my knee joints, and my back, and my feet. The list goes on and on.

If I start from the beginning, about 7 months ago I made a commitment to myself to do something about my weight. It was making me so UNHAPPY. Finally, the clothes that I had in my closet no longer fit. I was needing to go up to the next category - what I called the 'Big Mama' clothes. I can say that for me it was a wake up call. I do not mean to offend anyone who is in that category of clothing. It just was not for me. I will never judge anyone else and I expect the same from others concerning me. Others never know about what may be going on in the lives of other people unless they have walked in their shoes.

For me, I had a little weight to lose before the love of my life passed away unexpectedly. Not a whole lot of weight. I knew that I could work on it and actually had already started watching the carbs and such to work on. Without even realizing what I was doing, I went into an emotional eating disorder. Those are my words now as I look back. If anyone had said anything to me, I can assure you that I would not have listened and would have been in total denial. It took me, myself and I to finally see the 'LIGHT.'

It took me a while to get on board with my journey for the rest of my life. I had a very good friend who took the journey three years earlier and looked fantastic. I never realized that she had 45 or so pounds to lose. She did not appear to be overweight to me. Of course, I was looking through my rose colored glasses. Plus, the second amazing thing was that she had kept the weight off now for over 3 years. That was the key. Learning a lifestyle of eating habits. It is a matter of not living to eat but eating to live.

Yes, I agree, that it is nice to enjoy a good meal of some of our favorite foods. Spacing those 'good foods' is the trick; along with portion control. 

One way that I try to make my tomorrow self proud is by working on something challenging to me (such as taking this life journey of healthy eating and losing extra weight). All the while focusing on my purpose for doing it vs. indulging in self-doubt. It can be a matter of practicing gratitude and reaching out to connect with others. I have discovered there is a whole community of others who are following this journey that I have chosen for my health. 

At the end of the day, what really matters isn't what others think of me. What matters is how I feel about me. That is when I know that thinking about my future self is helpful because it changes my perspective and increases the timeline so that I am able to see the impact of my actions. I know that I want to be healthier so is it worth it to drive my car through the drive-thru window and get some fries? My tomorrow self shouts out a big fat, "NO!"

Words such as create, inspire, balance, smile and progress, along with so many others are words that I reflect on as I think about continuing my journey and are what help to make me proud of me.

It is all about changing up my overall lifestyle. A new mindset, so to speak. And then to be proud of the changes.