WHY WE FIND THE WATER PEACEFUL

 WHY WE FIND THE WATER PEACEFUL

Being on, in, or near water has a stress-relieving and creativity-boosting impact on the brain. Research actually studied this. There is a concept called the 'Blue Mind' that originated with a marine biologist, Wallace J. Nichols, who is remembered for his work in science and conservation. He wrote a book called Blue Mind where he described the phenomenon as a 'mildly meditative' state that's inspired by water and "takes advantage of the neurological connections formed over millennia" that are still being discovered via newer technology such as the EEG and MRI.

Readers sent photos of oceans, lakes, rivers, and even pools to say that their favorite body of water "soothes their souls, brings peace, is their happy place, and seems to align their internal rhythm to the universe." That is pretty powerful stuff in my opinion. I know that the beach is my happy place and that is what I have always called it. The sounds, the smells...there is nothing else quite like it.

On that note though, I can also say that where I live is land-locked and not around the ocean. However, I am blessed enough to have a pool and I can say that in weather where it is feasible I am so happy out around the pool. When the weather is not cooperative, it also works just to look out over the pool from inside. I stopped having the pool covered in the wintertime because it is so tranquil just to look at (even when there may be snow around it). With fans or heaters on in what we call our 'inside-out room' (screened-in patio) it can put me in my happy place. I adore sitting out with my coffee or tea and a good book. 

Even our goldendoodle, Davis found the pool relaxing.

There are endless examples of art that water inspired from poetry, novels, music, and paintings. Less than two minutes of looking at water outdoors is enough to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and actually lower your blood pressure. This is based on recent research according to Adam Grant. One possible explanation: "Since being attuned to visual cues for water helped our ancestors avoid dehydration, the mere sight of water can be a relief."

Even views of water through windows and artwork apparently help patients recover faster. In surveys, people recuperating from heart surgery who viewed an open-water scene had lower anxiety levels and needed less pain medication than those who looked at an abstract design, a blank white panel, or even a forest scene.

There is actually a 'thing' called Float Therapy.  I would gladly sign up for that. I know that when I am in my pool on a float it is simply heavenly. 

Water affects all of our senses. Simply amazing 💧💦

A quote by Bruce Lee puts another aspect on water:

"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves."

When we empty our minds, we become formless. Shapeless, like water. If we put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. If we put water into a bottle, or teapot then it takes that shape. Water can flow or it can crash. If we choose to flow...we have smoother sailing.

PEACEFUL

LIVE LIKE YOU MEAN IT

 LIVE LIKE YOU MEAN IT

Starting the New Year can be exciting to some and daunting to others. I like to look at it as 365 blank pages so how do I want to fill those pages. Some people make resolutions, and if that works for you, just go for it. Why change if it works? 

For me - meh - there was no way I was ever following through. After some reading other ideas such as setting intentions that align with your purpose or choosing one word that covers a whole range of what you would like to accomplish - I decided on one.

Each year I begin with my word for the year and I work on making it fit into my life in all sorts of positive ways. Some examples are 2023 my word was HOPE and 2024 my word was IMAGINE. 

For a little background information, 2023 was beginning my New Year without my soulmate. I lost him in October of 2022. So the word HOPE was a way that I was telling myself that I had to have HOPE to make it through the year in a totally different way than ever before. It was not an easy task. It was something that I truly had to work on in my mind. Perhaps I should have gone to grief therapy? Right or wrong, I muddled through with the help of my family and close friends.

In 2024 my word was IMAGINE. I wanted to imagine my new kind of life as an adventure to reinvent myself. I worked on my writing more, creating art, and most importantly, my health. I managed to put on weight through stress eating and I had quite a bit to lose. I had to work on telling myself the truth about what I wanted, not what I should be doing. Learning to say no to what didn't feel good anymore is never easy. But it meant for me to show up for myself by looking into my future. How that would happen will follow. And sure enough - it did.

I worked on ME. With help, I managed to shed 100 lbs in 11 months. Most people (at least this is what they said to me) could not believe that I had 100 extra pounds on my body. Oh yes! I knew that I did. The scales knew that I did. My clothes knew that I did. Positive talk to myself is what I used to kick out any negative vibes trying to get inside of my brain.

Self-care is not selfish--it is essential. Each day I must remind myself to slow down and be present in order to recharge. The best version of everyone is their authentic self. Slowly, I was finding my authentic self and giving myself the freedom to do so without guilt. All of us have unique gifts and the New Year does not necessarily mean the New You. It means finding yourself...the one who has always been there.

Taking small steps to turn my passion into action started slowly but as I gained confidence, it was second nature to me. It really is about living inspired and trusting your journey.

"Stuff" doesn't just happen. You need to take charge and stop listening to your brain because brains do not like change. Why? Fear! It is a matter of following this mantra:

Your life is all about YOU!

Making Special Holiday Traditions

 MAKING SPECIAL HOLIDAY TRADITIONS

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Let me start by saying there is no such thing as having a perfect Christmas holiday. If you worry about making everything perfect, then expect to be burned out really fast. It is all about what works for you and your family at the time. Traditions are nice yet I find it interesting to change things up some every year or so.

Some of the holiday traditions my family chooses work for us most of the time. And sometimes, we make them up as we go. In other words, no one gets bent out of shape if some things change. Change is good.

The ideas that we work with are some that you and your family may have for your own... 

It is fun for some of us to make our own Christmas cards, bake Christmas cookies and make Gingerbread houses. And it can be fun to load up the car to see the Christmas lights or go to a Christmas Eve service.

 

On Christmas Eve, before we all gather for a Christmas movie to watch together (we all agree on one but many times it is The Polar Express) we enjoy a take out dinner from our favorite Chinese restaurant.

We can write a note to Santa and leave out him some cookies and of course, some reindeer food.

Then it is time to end the exciting fun-filled evening with a book to help us try to get some sleep on this special night.

We all wake up to the chatter of the children and find out what Santa surprised all of us with. Quite a long and fun drawn out affair. We actually take a little break to get our matching shirts on and have our special French Toast casserole that was made the night before and popped into the oven to cook, along with fresh croissants and fruit. YUM!

It always is a special day and no matter what is going on or NOT going on that is the usual tradition...it is just a wonderful family time.

This year we were breaking tradition a bit in that after this main event, four family members were headed to another set of grandparents for Christmas there. I was invited, however, I was also invited out with friends who have been celebrating Christmas at a movie and then out to dinner. I thought that this was a perfect time to try a new tradition. It worked for all. Even when the love of my life was celebrating Christmas with me, the two of us mixed things up at times. At times we had none of our children with us on the actual day, we changed things up and made reservations for a late afternoon lunch and thoroughly enjoyed the change. Attitudes...they matter. Go with the flow...

So my advice is to never discount the opportunities to make special holiday traditions of your own. It is a good thing!

THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR NEW BEGINNINGS

 THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR NEW BEGINNINGS

With Thanksgiving behind us now and Christmas and Hanukkah approaching quickly, not to mention the New Year, it is appropriate to think of new beginnings.

Every day should be a new beginning for us to 'forget yesterday, think about tomorrow but live in the present.' That is based on a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift That's why we call it The Present." I absolutely love that. 

Each day is a chance for a new beginning, and we should all be thankful for each day. Yet we also need to learn from our yesterdays and set goals for our tomorrows. We are all a part of our past. Some are good, some are great, and others are not. The important question is whether or not we learned from it. In my humble opinion, there is always time for gratitude and new beginnings.

This past Thanksgiving was a totally new beginning for me. And it was simply lovely. There have been Thanksgivings in the past that I have been the hostess for 15 or more people. And there have been times when it was just Steve and me. Sometimes we cooked and other times we tried making reservations at nice restaurants and loved it. It is all about making the best of each celebration. Find all the things to be grateful for - there are so many! This year my sweet daughter came up with the idea that we should host Thanksgiving. Her mother-in-law usually has all family celebrations at her home. They have a large fenced yard to accommodate 6 dogs. They can run and be free. We really don't have that outside space but we do have a perfect set-up inside to seat everyone. 

We also do not have a room with a big screen tv. Well, we do but it is where Craig sleeps and clothes are spread everywhere. Not a room to have the family in to watch tv. It is no longer "the Media Room." 

However, we did stay around the table and talk. Imagine? It was lovely to do that. Imagine this as a great new beginning. NO tv. In the summer, many go outside under umbrellas and swim when we go to Barbara and Jerry's home. Just not an option for Thanksgiving. And, I am not into sitting out in the heat unless I am in a pool on a float. 

So I was so very grateful that we could host Thanksgiving this year. It just worked out beautifully; even without a tv room. I am up for getting a tv. We even have talked about it. But until we can find someone who can hook up the wiring so no cords show, it is a big NO for me. And no one seems to have the get up and go to find someone. Until that happens, we will have our Reading Room. I so much enjoy it now with the fire going. 

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."

~ Marcel Proust ~

BEAUTY AFTER 60

 BEAUTY AFTER 60

Just like love, beauty is a timeless and elusive concept. It means something different to almost everyone. It is definitely shaped by society, culture, and personal preferences. Criteria continues to be ever changing from decade to decade and from place to place.

After centuries of trying, the definition of beauty continues to remain obscure. The focus shifts from an outer to an inner lens. Women in the 60+ age range define their beauty in a particular and fascinating way that literally challenges what society traditionally considers beautiful.

There can be many different surveys on what is considered beautiful over 60. However, the perception of beauty after 60 is much more personal. If one is to ask women of the Sixty and Me community whether they thought they were still beautiful in their 60s, the answers were authentic, honest, and not surprisingly confident. Here are some paraphrased answers that I found along with some photos of women over 60 that you may recognize.

• Beauty for me has a positive attitude 

                                                 

•  What counts is to dress well and with style

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• Perhaps in a different way, I still feel beautiful, inside and out

• Absolutely, I behold my beauty, by being my best me

• I believe in the philosophy of trying to be the best I can be

• Yes, I think I am beautiful. I have more confidence in myself

• If you are beautiful on the inside you are beautiful on the outside

• So much more now because the inside is what really matters

• Yes, nature is changing my body and I accept it with grace

• We use our own standard of beauty -  yes, I am beautiful
• 
  

• I don't worry anymore - there is nothing uglier than worrying

• I see a new and different kind of beauty every year with me

• I try to be beautiful from the inside smiling often

A Swiss-American psychiatrist named Elizabeth Kubler-Ross is quoted:

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depth. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

I agree wholeheartedly on this perception.

How about you? What is your perception of beauty after 60?

BE CAUTIOUS OF PERCEPTIONS

 BE CAUTIOUS OF PERCEPTIONS

Perceptions of beauty are shaped by society, culture and personal preferences. Beauty is definitely a timeless and elusive concept that means something different to almost everyone.

Yes, there are at least some shared social definitions of what beauty looks like, but, even that can change in a heartbeat. In this blog, I would like to talk about all ages, however, I am honing in on the 60+ age group. In this sector of society, the perception of beauty is more personal. Most in this age group do not describe themselves as attractive in the traditional sense. They  tend to offer a different perception of beauty. These women that were interviewed did consider themselves still beautiful in their 60's and their answers were always honest and they were confident. Here are some of their replies:

Yes, nature is changing my body and I accept it with grace...

What counts is to dress well and with style...

Beauty for me is having a positive attitude...

Looking through rose tinted glasses are the best...

There is so much more now because it is all about what is inside that matters...

There are so many interesting perceptions of beauty. Really it boils down to taking care of ourselves. That goes beyond bubble baths and spa days (but those are so very important). But what really matters is what is going on inside ourselves. If we struggle with negative thoughts or a lack of confidence, then cultivating a sense of self-love is where we need to begin. 

Treating ourselves with kindness and compassion, along with grace while setting and respecting our own healthy boundaries is what serves our own well-being. We need to be sure to build for our soul a beautiful home. Knowing that it is ok to be a little weird and quirky is important. Perfection is not reality.

It really boils down to deciding what you want and then do that. Go for that goal. As Judy Blume was quoted, "Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives."

YES! So true! Life is not a matter of milestones but of moments. Take the time to find each moment that brings us happiness and just relish in it. Our golden opportunities that we seek are within ourselves.

So just go ahead and have your own perceptions to define yourself. Others will perceive us as how we present ourselves. That is reality. So go with all of your grace and self-confidence that you can gather and you with have your perception of yourself inside your head of exactly the way you desire it to be. 

THIS IS THE BOTTOM LINE!

LIFE IS SHORT AND IT IS HERE TO BE LIVED!

FRESH BEGINNINGS

 FRESH BEGINNINGS

"Every moment is a fresh beginning."

T.S. Eliot

There is a wonderful feeling when we discover that when we begin fresh - all over again...magic happens. It is just one way to work at reinventing ourselves. We need to uncover our unique abilities. It gives all of us a sense of well-being. It is true that if we run from uncovering new abilities and experiences that one way or another life finds a way to make it happen for us. Sometimes that way takes the power away from us and is not always pleasant. 

I believe that many of us, myself included, feel at times that we must confront facing our "issues." That is really such harsh word. I am all about the vocabulary and instead of using the word confront, I heard that uncovering was used in many discussions. There is always time to find our own uniqueness. At times it is just too easy to blame our own responsibilities for not taking the time to find ourselves by uncovering our unique abilities. 

Once a person reaches a certain age, time seems to just fly by so there is no time like the present to get busy creating ourselves in the way that we would like to become. Uncovering our positive attributes to help make us better humans just feels joyful and positive. 

In reality, there is no such thing as standing still. Think of it as a flower. We are either growing or we are wilting. I don't know about you, but I am not fond of wilting flowers, therefore I do not want to find myself wilting away. I need to always feel like something new is calling me. It is a matter of me taking life by the reins and embracing whatever new may come my way. Otherwise, I have discovered that I feel STUCK! At one point I remember asking myself if this was all that there was. 

By gosh it is not. I have a lot to live for and to experience. There are many things on my bucket list and everyone's list is not the same. I can assure you that riding roller coasters, zip-lining, parachuting, or hiking are not on my list of what I need to experience. And that is ok, as long as I am willing to explore new dimensions of my life that might bring me joy and meaning. 

Hope tells me all of the reasons why I could do something and hope most definitely is not blind optimism. It is taking action and I know that it is important to remember that hope does not come with guarantees. Hopeful actions help to build my own self-confidence. Another way to look at it is to remember this quote from Morris West:  "If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine." Hang on to that HOPE.

Some things that I have decided to work on are listed below. The list is quite long, so for this blog I have only named a few. 

• Don't wait. Do it now. Whatever my "it" is, why wait?
• Stop feeling guilty when I put on my brakes to just slow down and take it easy. It is a delicious feeling to wake up with coffee or maybe an organic tea and just read. Then take a shower and get dressed much later in the morning. I stopped beating myself up because of doing this. Hey! I am retired and that means that I can do what I want when I want. 
• We have a family dinner for 5 most every night that there are no specific activities going on and we all 'power off' at the dinner table. Take time to listen to one another and carry on conversations.
• Besides working on getting better at getting my blog out on time and getting my novel ready for the editor, I have accomplished reading a book every two weeks. That was my goal and sometimes I even surpass that goal. 
• Continue writing in my journal. I have done this for over 25 years. I miss writing in my journal at the same time with my soulmate. But I now write in my journal about what my day was like, how my emotions were for that day, and even write as if I am talking with him. It truly is comforting to me. I also have a Gratitude Bowl. 

Using colorful Post-it notes, I write one thing specifically that I am grateful for each day. Yes, when it fills up, I must clean it out and start fresh. I have a special place where I keep the old papers. I just can't bear to throw them away. Reading them over again brings me great joy. 

Find what brings you happiness and start you own fresh beginnings...at your own pace. There is no right or wrong unless we allow ourselves to wilt. Feed the flower.