OUR OWN UNIQUE GIFTS

OUR OWN UNIQUE GIFTS

 

Imagine for a moment that we spread our own wings to help spread our own unique gifts with the world. I have that picture in my mind when I think of self-care. Self-care is all about taking care of ourselves so that we are able to help care for others who need a bit of help from others.

I like to imagine that if I continue to spread my wings and fly that the unique gifts that I may have can reach others by sharing. Let's face it. Being human is hard. That is just that way life is. There is no sense in digging a hole and hiding our heads in the sand just to pretend that issues are not all around us to handle. 

Instead of looking at it as "handling" the issues, I like to look at it as thriving. A good motto could be, "Thrive and not just Survive." 

Thriving for me is the ability to handle challenges with less struggle by being aligned with my own unique gifts and sharing these gifts in ways that feel joyful.

There is no good reason that I can think of for anyone to hold their breath and wait until things get calmer or easier. Life happens. For me, I can say there are ups and downs and the word on the street is to just go with the flow. 

Being able to thrive and go with the flow actually fills me with positive energy and gives me a magical feeling of being alive and on this earth for a purpose. Life is just too short to dread our day or just to 'get through them.' LIVE THEM WITH GUSTO. I can agree that some days are livelier than others. I may lean more to the positive way of looking at life but I also am realistic. We are all human and I have my moments. The smart thing is to give myself these moments and pick myself up and start again. 

Instead of worrying about stuff that I could not control, I discovered that by focusing more on how I could share some of my gifts with others. Just the very fact of sharing another way to look at a problem or issue that we all go through in life. This helps to shift worry into creative actions.

Taking care of ourselves is not being selfish. In order to help others, we first must help ourselves to be stronger. Love ourselves. This in turn can be shared with others to witness how it works. It is a continuous circle of caring.

We all deserve happiness. This must become a self-belief. You really can't help make everyone else feel happy and feel good if we ourselves are not happy. This means to not put ourselves on the back burner. This will make us feel drained and less able to handle stress.

Practicing self-love and self-respect, as well as self-compassion is what will guide us to be able to help others and share our own uniqueness. Remembering that self-love isn't conditional. It is not earned. We are all a being - not a doing. We are deserving as human beings.

Doing things that make us feel good and fuels us is basically what life is all about. It is not ever the time to just put it off for later. Never stop dreaming. There really is more beyond out there for all of us. I never want to coast through life. It really is more fun to be a little bolder and to be daring. Find what brings you most joy, go for it and share it. 

LIFE IS TOUGH

 LIFE IS TOUGH

It is so true that the hardest part of healing after losing someone you love is to recover the "you" that went away with them. So many times I have to remind myself that yes indeed, life is tough. But dang it...so am I. I can actually hear Steve saying the words above to me personally. Sometimes it is not always easy to give myself accolades so I use my collection of mantras to read and write about; such as I am amazing. I have made it work thanks to a wonderful family and great friends. And I will not leave out my willingness to ride the wave of life.

It is so very important to just keep right on growing.

 

It is so true, that I would rather be growing with Steve. Believe it or not, I am still slowly taking care of some of his treasures in his drawers and boxes. It is a way of feeling closer to him. There are so many times that I do not feel alone and I can feel him around me. However crazy you may think that sounds, it is true for me. And for me? I plan of doing more of what I love. 

Definitely, I am conscious of my treasures. There are so many treasures that Steve helped me to discover when we met and the 20 + years afterwards. That is how I know that I am not alone. As The Beatles song of Now and Then states, "And if I make it through, it's all because of you." He really did make me a stronger person and continues to do so. I know that he would be so proud of how I finally took hold of my life after losing him and took a healthy journey for me. That alone has given me the courage to know that adventure awaits; always keep the doors always open. Don't just survive, THRIVE! I can hear him giving me this advice.

If you have read my blogs before or followed my Facebook page you definitely know by now that I believe in quotes and mantras to get me through my day in the positive manner that I wish. If I woke up feeling like a 'Debbie Downer' than it would not be worth getting up and being a grumpy bear all day. I post the mantras on my page more for myself than anyone else. When I was working, I shared one a week with the staff that I worked with and called them djmilestones. I never knew how they were accepted until I noticed in some classrooms that teachers put these little colored strips of paper with the weekly milestone quote around their rooms. WOW! That was powerful. So I knew that it was not just me that felt that way. Even through my FB page, some friends write that they really do enjoy reading the positive quotes or sayings that I post. If it helps someone else then great. It makes me happy.

Some other mantras that I have picked up along the way and are still my favorites, I will share with you on this blog:

• ~When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. ~
• "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."  Dr. Seuss
• "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."  Winnie the Pooh
• "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us."  Helen Keller
• ~ Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day...unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear. ~

This one truly gave me meaning and helped me understand what I was going though. We all are different and we all walk in different shoes. 

Please allow me to share that for the longest time I felt that moving on meant forgetting about my life with Steve. This alone made me NOT want to move on. Finally, I learned that moving on does not mean letting go. It is from the following quote by Mary VanHaute:

"You will survive and you will find purpose in the chaos. Moving on doesn't mean letting go."

  

In memory of our wedding anniversary on Valentine's Day 2/14/2002:

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO: HMMMMM!

 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO: HMMMMM

There are some things swirling around in my brain that for whatever reason, I just think about asking myself if I should even be doing these things. Most of the time, for me, the answer is a great big loud, "NO!" That does not mean that it is not right for another person. We all have our own certain characteristics. What fits one does not always fit another. Some of these things still make me go: hmmmmmm. 

Some of these things are:

Arguing with other people  -  Why? If they say 

2 + 2 =5 then just say, yes, you are correct. (Unless I am a teacher with students or on the debate team). Adults seem to form their own opinions and there is no point in trying to convince them otherwise.

Drama - There are some people who have mastered the art of their own personal drama and live for it. I don't have to participate.

People Pleaser - At one point, I had to come to the conclusion that everyone does not have to like me so I do not have to try to please every one. In fact, there is no way to try to please everybody. I just do what I feel is right when I must make decisions

Sitting on the floor - Yes, I can sit on the floor. It is the getting up part that is tricky (basically due to my knees - a little noisy and a bit painful, so I just choose a chair or a low stool.

Excuses - I have come to realize the if the truth be told in the very beginning, then there is no need to ramble on and on with excuses.

Eating food that is not delicious  - Now that I am on my own healthy lifestyle journey, one of my questions to myself is why waste calories if it is not delicious? It is a matter of picking and choosing what I find to be delicious and healthy. And if it is not exactly on my program, then portion control becomes very important if I believe it to be worth the calories.

Partying, staying up too late, and hangovers -

Some of these things go together and for me the question comes up of why? Yes, I like to party just like most others, but I must be the one to chose for me the time to go. I am not in a good mood the next day if I stay up too late. Then having a glass of wine is great. My college days of waking up with an occasional hangover has long passed me by. I had to learn the hard way. (and painful with the headache)

Perhaps you have your life guidelines too. And maybe they are totally different from mine. No two people are ever exactly the same and that is ok! 

Whatever we all go by to live a happy life (as long as it is not harming others) is great. Find your own way! I am finding my own way and it changes here and there along the way. To me, that simply means that I am always evolving. 

 HMMMMM

QUESTIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR

THE QUESTIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR

The New Year is a fresh start and a new chapter waiting to be written. We write our own book.

In reflecting on the past year I have to imagine what excited me the most? What made me the happiest?

I believe that we all glow when we are at our happiest so it only seemed fit to think back on what happened to actually get me excited last year. I used my journal from 2023 to read my own words about the people, my habits, and choices that I made that helped to bring me joy. From that point, it was easy to continue and expand on those ideas. 

One of the best decisions that I made was to take a healthy journey and learn great nutritional habits that will be with me for my lifetime. It was amazing as the weight started melting off. Even more impressive was how much better that I felt within myself. I had so much more energy, my joints did not ache, my closet and drawers were cleaned out slowly but surely of clothes that were WAY too big for me. 

Which in turn, I did have some older clothes that I loved and did hang on to hanging in the back of my closet and drawers. Guess what? Now they fit! As time goes on, some of these are even too big and I am now buying a few new things along the way. Being a clothes horse, it really makes me happy that I now enjoy getting new clothes in regular sizes. This picture is in a new and fun sweatshirt about my feelings of Winter. I am 83 pounds down when this one was taken.😃To say this makes me happy is definitely an understatement.

The people who brought me joy were my family; both those that I live with and those that live away and we all visit each other from time to time. Also, my good friends - those that I see on a regular basis and those that I don't get to be with except on social media. The person who helped me get on my healthy journal - My COACH! She is the best support system for me and is always there to answer my questions and help me along the path. I am almost there and then she will be there to get me through maintenance and beyond. She is more than a coach; she is a very good friend!

The next question that is important to reflect upon is to think about what it was that drained me. Things or people that brought me down. Events and situations can happen that may be totally out of my control. Some of what seemed to drain me, if I allowed it to, would be situations when out driving, or coming face to face or on the phone with a rude customer service representative (that is an oxymoron). Luckily, that did not happen often but when it happened, my ticket out of being sucked down the drain with them was to just think of one reason to remain joyful. Something that I am grateful for. OK - to be totally honest with you, there are times that I must think of more than just one reason to remain joyful. Imagine? It is not that hard to think about what I feel grateful for in my life. Those reasons are all around me and always swirling about in my head.

The third and fourth questions for 2024 go together. What do I want more of and what do I need less of for this upcoming year? I definitely want more of the good way that I am living my life. To continue to stay on my healthy journey, definitely to continue to shop for new clothes (without going overboard - which kind of fits in what I need less of, such as shoes, handbags and just general clutter). One question that I now stop and ask myself before purchasing something is if I already have something similar, where am I going to put this new item and is it really necessary? 

Spending more time in the kitchen being creative makes me very happy. I miss spending my time cooking with Steve so very much. Many times, I can feel him with me as I add a little of this and a little of that to my recipes. Or even as I search for new recipes. 

After reading a book called, The Gifts They Left Behind by April Rohde really opened my eyes and allowed me to feel what I was truly feeling. It validated my thoughts about Steve being all around me. He seems to come to me in the form of a cardinal. I got busy getting the bird feeder ready outside my window after the snow and rain left our area and every day the same cardinal comes to get the special seed that I put in it. My daughter gave me a cardinal snow globe that lights up and one of my granddaughters saw a page of cardinal stickers when she was out shopping for other things and she thought of me and cardinals/Steve (or as he is known to all of the granddaughters - Smiley). I have a picture of the cardinal outside of my study window through the shutters. So it is not exactly perfectly clear. The windows need a good cleaning when Spring Time comes but I am sure that you get the idea.

When cardinals appear, angels are near. This is my belief and for me, my cardinal is very special to me. The book that I mentioned above reminded me that when I believe beyond what I can see, signs from heaven show up to remind me that love never dies.

This is my story and I intend to always make it beautiful.

WHAT IS GREAT ABOUT MEMPHIS

 WHAT IS GREAT ABOUT MEMPHIS

What exactly is great about Memphis? There are a lot of nay-sayers out there but I am not one of them. In fact, I am of the belief that they are most definitely in the minority. Look at that beautiful "M" bridge that looks so majestic lit up over the Mississippi River. There are so many good things about Memphis and some things that need work on. There also are some things that we do not need to take too seriously. Let's be real and be able to laugh about some things.

Things like when there is a rumor of snow coming everyone goes out and stocks up on bread and milk. I have always wondered if they were going to make themselves a milk sandwich?

This is rather amusing. The past few days it actually happened. We did get about 6 - 8 inches of snow which pretty much paralyzed the city. We do not have the equipment to handle that so everything shut down.

The few who braved it (for whatever reason) were stuck or in fender benders or just slid right off the road. It did finally get a little better but it has been a week since many businesses have opened and when groceries did open their shelves were bare. Big trucks could not get in to deliver the food and there were not enough workers who could drive in to stock the shelves.  In other words, it was a big mess. 

Throw in the fact that the temperatures were below freezing - like single digit below - and now we have water pipes bursting for many people. We were instructed to let all faucets drip water and open the cabinets so that pipes did not freeze. This in turn led to low water pressure with all of the city water mains and pipes bursting so now we all were instructed to not drink the water. We must boil the water for at least a minute before drinking it or using it for cooking. It makes it hard for a family but think about the restaurants. Most of them have no way to get that much water in order to wash produce and to cook, much less to wash dishes, have ice for drinks, etc. It sort of boggles the brain to just think about.

That is where we are right now. So to move on to other things about Memphis that is great - there are people out there setting up places to distribute free cases of water and delivering food to those who can't get out for it. Along with warming centers opening for those who are homeless or living without electricity during these cold and unbearable circumstances. People helping people. We are known for that.

Some other things that Memphis is known for are:

Ahhh...the BBQ. I am not going to put it out there of which is my personal favorite. We all have favorites and no matter where you go - no BBQ is quite like Memphis BBQ.

There there are polls for the BEST of and let's just say Memphis may have the BBQ but it is not where one would expect to get fresh seafood. We are landlocked. However, let's think about this one. For several years in a row Red Lobster won the best seafood restaurant. I am not putting them down, really, I am not. I just am not so sure that they have fresh seafood brought in. The one thing that I do remember about them is that they had the best Cheddar Biscuits ever. 

There are some restaurants in our city that get fresh seafood and serve delicious seafood entrees and appetizers, such as Coastal Fish Company, Tsunami and I am sure others that I have not had the pleasure of dining in yet. There is even a trailer that comes in to a large parking lot with fresh Gulf seafood catches. Paradise Seafood will even give you tips on what is the best way to prepare the seafood that you purchase from them. They send out e-mails in advance to let you know what they have and the days they will be in a particular location. 

Some tourist interests could be the giant pyramid that is amazing looking and and at one time was a venue for sports, concerts and other events. It went on to become a pyramid with a big fish on it. Bass Pro Shop bought it and have an amazing store within the pyramid. There is a pond where you can fish to try out rods, along with other outdoor sporting events. A luxury hotel and a restaurant at the top with a view of the city top it off.

If you notice, there is also a duck below the Bass Pro Shop sign because Ducks Unlimited have joined the outdoor theme at the Memphis Pyramid. Did the Egyptians have all of this?

Memphis also has the Memphis Redbirds, affiliated with the St. Louis Cardinals, we have 901 Soccer, and our NBA team of The Grizzlies. The University of Memphis (formerly known as Memphis State) has a wonderful following for both their basketball and football teams. 

Let's not forget that Memphis is home to Graceland.

Many visitors come daily to go through the Elvis mansion and other attractions there. Probably, I get most frustrated at tourists who believe this is the only thing to see in Memphis. There are so many other worthy sites like Sun Recording Studio, The Civil Rights Museum, STAX Records, Gibson Guitars, The Peabody, and the list goes on. I sort of lose my patience with locals who say there is nothing to do in Memphis. And let's not even talk about the wonderful theaters and museums that we have here in Memphis. PLUS it is a city of the ARTS! 

Some seem to think that literally everyone in town has been shot and/or robbed. And yes, Memphis does have a problem that is being worked on and trying to solve, especially with a new team of leaders coming in. Let's give them all of the support that we can. The crime rate is high. We all must be vigilant when we go out and be aware of our surroundings. 

As far as rush hour traffic, the lack of using turn signals, Union Avenue with that left lane and Poplar Avenue that is just way too narrow in most places and the right lane is as bad as the left lane on Union. If those complaining have ever driven daily in rush hour in Houston, Chicago, Boston, Dallas or other larger cities then there would be a whole new meaning of rush hour. Speed is definitely a problem. The number of police officers is a problem. All problems that are being worked on. 

Working together instead of complaining would be a great start. The quote about being a part of the solution, not the problem definitely fits here. We don't want more people to leave Memphis. So let's make a good city GREAT again! The city of Memphis, as well as the suburbs need to come together and help find solutions to these problems. They are more prevalent in the city of Memphis but as we all know, they are in the suburbs also. 

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney