LIFE BALANCE

 LIFE BALANCE

The words "work-life balance" are used frequently. It is my belief that there is no such thing. If one thinks this way it probably is stressing them out tremendously. If you work on the weekends, then you may feel like you are not being true to yourself, family and friends. If you are taking time away from work during the day to something personal then you feel that you are not being a good employee. That is enough to drive anyone over the edge. 

My advice is to allow yourself to believe that there is no such thing as a work-life balance. The reason is this creates two enemies fighting each other for time and so the tension comes in to play.

Work is a part of life. Just as taking care of our personal time of being with family, friends and doing what we enjoy for ourselves (self-care). So in reality we are simply trying to express our whole being. This can't be done on a balance beam. 

So what do we do? First, get it out of our heads that accomplishing a life balance can't be done in one day or even a week. There are ways that we must try to express the different parts of who we are throughout each day. 

Working on strategies to plug into our life balance is the answer and it is doable. Making your job your friend. It does not define you. Setting priorities realistically on what you want them to be, not what you think they should be. Identify the top 3 - 5 priorities in your life. Managing your time the smart way. Learning how to say no with a smile on your face. When you stop doing things out of guilt, you will be surprised to find more time to focus on the activities that bring you true joy.

Sticking to your priorities and setting up your schedule will help to ensure that your work does not interfere with your personal life. It is important to find your life balance because after all, working is getting you enough money in order to enjoy your life. There really is an answer:

IT IS CALLED LIFE BALANCE!

POSITIVE THINKING SHOULD BE SECOND NATURE

 POSITIVE THINKING SHOULD BE SECOND NATURE

That is a very powerful statement! If I think about it though, it all comes together. I don't know about you but I choose to have power over my circumstances instead of them having power over me. Already, I can hear the naysayers out there. So, please give me a chance to explain how we can do this. 

Stuff happens. Yes, it does. Stuff that is out of our control. I could not agree more. However, the manner in which I choose to react is the way I can turn my circumstances around. It is a matter of turning positive thinking into a habit. Like any habit, it will take time and persistence to build. 

The way that I work on it is to find a time to repeat an affirmation. It can be while brushing my teeth, washing my hair, taking a walk...just keep repeating that affirmation and soon you will believe those words. Start with a simple affirmation. For me, I am working on my sleeping pattern currently. So my affirmation is that I will get to bed by a certain time so that I will be able to get a minimum of 8 hours sleep and wake up early enough to feel I have put in my definition of a productive day. 

Retired, for me, does not mean staying up so late that I then must sleep the morning away and waking up to  knowing in my mind, I have no energy to get myself dressed and to start my day at 11 AM. I actually become jealous of those who have already had breakfast, completed what they wanted to do in order to feel fulfilled (and everyone is different). If this is ok with you, then it works for you. Let me repeat - Everyone is different!

Gratitudes are what I like to focus on. It helps to make me in control of my circumstances. Setting an intentional theme such as letting something go, whatever it may be and instead focus on reaping the positives. Thinking of what brought me joy in the past week or even yesterday and then what is ONE thing that I would like to change about my life. 

Moving with intention toward being kind, not only to others, but to myself as well. After all, we are in this world together. Continue to work in small steps. I work on myself, then bring in family and friends and those that I may not even know personally. That is where my journal writing comes in handy. Just to stop and listen and focus on kindness.

It is true that every act of kindness creates a ripple with no end. Maybe one that you are not aware of at first. Just trust that it is there. And at some point you will be able to harvest that for yourself and others. 

An author named Robin Kimmerer said that we owe it to the world to at least give them some of our attention. He came up with a loose code that can govern our relationships into positive relationships.

• know the ways of the ones who take care of you, so that you may take care of them
• Introduce yourself and be accountable
• Ask permission before taking
• Never take first or last
• Take only what you need and only which is given
• Never take more than half
• Harvest respectfully
• Give thanks for what you have been given
• Always give a gift in reciprocity for what you have taken
• Sustain the ones who sustain you and the earth will last a lot longer

A question that I stop and ask myself is what was I just thinking about? Was my mind wandering? There is real value in pausing to redirect my thoughts into positive affirmations. I have learned that what I focus on will expand. This can be in a good way or a not so good way. When I focus on the goodness in life (and there is plenty of that) I am able to create more goodness, positivity and kindness. 

Do I need reminders to help me achieve this? Of course! I am only human! Just remember that:

This quote from Oprah helps to sum up my blog. 

GENERAL THINGS IN OUR LIVES

 GENERAL THINGS IN OUR LIVES

For some reason my mind kept coming up with random general thoughts, sort of like an old timey General Store. I am using the word random because general thoughts could be mistaken that all of the thoughts are on the same subject; such as cooking, dancing, fashion. My thoughts were truly random just as items are in most General Stores. 

Something must have sparked a topic and my mind just ran with it. It started with watching a woman open a door to go into a doctor's office and without a blink of an eye, she just walked on it and the person close behind her had to grab the door for herself. To me, that was just not polite. Perhaps if the first person had no clue that someone was behind her? I suppose that could happen but then I thought of manners in general. 

Manners definitely are a true reflection of our character. It cost nothing to be kind. Saying yes ma'am or no sir, being punctual, writing thank you notes, expressing and sharing gratitudes. Paying it forward is just a nice gesture. I had it happen to me at a drive-thru coffee shop and was so taken aback that I did the same for the person behind me. Kindergarten teachers were so right in trying to have their students live by the Golden Rule. It seems quite a few adults need a refresher course in this. 

Table manners ran through my mind when I witnessed a family of 4 at a restaurant waiting for their meal and there was no conversation. All were too busy on their cell phones. 😒 Not exactly good manners being demonstrated. While I was thinking about the use of cell phones and shrinking into your own little world, I started to think about the use of texting vs phoning vs e mail. I guess any of these methods will get your point across and there may be a right time to use one over the other. For a quick little note, a text might be in order over disturbing someone with a phone call. And then an e mail may be better when giving out specific information that needs to be reread and digested to understand it. To me a phone call eliminates innuendos that can be read into a text or e mail. A good rule that I try to always employ is when I call, I ask if this is a good time to talk? Just a polite question in case your call is interrupting something important.

In the same restaurant was a single person eating as if no one had ever taught him how to use a napkin or silverware correctly. This picture is an exaggeration. But I thought it made a point as to why we should always try to show good manners.

Common sense does not grow in everyone's garden. You never know who is watching you. We don't all need to be the sharpest pencils in the drawer however it would work in our own favor if we at least exhibited some common sense. 

With autumn here now, it is coming upon the time for plants to be pruned, brought inside, or actually start a garden from seeds inside the house to enjoy through the winter.             

Do you ever feel like you need to check in on your Mood Elevator to get the most of your day? I know that I do. It helps me visualize how I may be feeling and to acknowledge it and then do something about it.

If I am feeling frustrated and impatient then it will be hard for me to be creative. For me, being creative helps to spark myself up to a higher level. I treat myself better and it is a good form of self-care. I feel happier when I am doing something creative. 

I find it challenging when I have many creative ideas and am grateful enough to know that I have the opportunity to choose whichever one that I want to focus on. Whether it is some art work, writing, gardening, cooking or working on another language. There is not a lack of creative projects to help keep my mood elevator up on the creative floor.

Before retirement, my handwriting had become atrocious. Mainly, because I signed reports, work orders, report cards, etc. all day long. Now, I like to work on proper cursive and even some fancy-smancy cursive, with special pens. 

Speaking of writing, does anyone use recipe cards anymore?     

I have some in a book that I keep. They are family and close friends' special recipes. Now, that may be the only time that I need a card to fill out. Otherwise, I have learned how to store recipes that I find on the Internet in a special folder. I was running out of room when I printed them. Then once printed, I never could find them when I needed them. If in the proper folder on my computer it became easier to keep the ones we liked and to delete those we did not care for.

Have you ever wondered about why companies send out so many catalogs?

                                    

Why? With Smart phones, tablets and computers, any company that you want is at our fingertips. Maybe there are people out there who think recipe cards and catalogs are quaint. I for one think we need to save our forests. 

When I was out driving yesterday, I was noticing that some people do not see street signs the same as I do. How did I miss these: "Speed up. You got this."

          "Signals are for cowards."

          "Lanes are suggestions."

          "No fishing in potholes."

Two days ago Facebook went down. Oh my goodness. People were losing it. Someone wrote that it was down so long that they FedEx'd their information to the person who needed it. (Yes, that was a FedEx joke!)

The secret is out. My head is full of random generalizations. I don't know if it is a good sign or something that I should be concerned about. I just know that is how my mind works and I am sticking with it. Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done. Just hold on while I overthink this. The men in the white suits have not come yet to take me away. 

I have my Retirement 'to do' list:

1. Wake up!

GOT THIS NAILED!

 

RESET YOUR MIND

 RESET YOUR MIND

The other day I was reading an article that I could relate to in various ways. The person writing it basically was mentally going through what I felt like I was going through. I did have to take it to another level and that would be the way that I could make work for me. 

Never ever have I heard of Sensei in Lanai, Hawaii. Two very prominent people, one a physician and the other one a technology mogul got together to discuss why can't health care expand beyond treating it and focus more on preventing it. They thought that using data from trackers, sensors, and biofeedback sessions could help in bringing more happiness and less chronic disease later.

One of these individuals owned his own island in Hawaii and Sensei is a wellness brand that brings in spas set in The Four Seasons Hotel chain. One or two are open now with another one set soon to open. To make a long story shorter, I already know the likelihood of staying at any Four Seasons Hotel so add in signing up for the spa with it? I just could not see that happening for me. 

Being usually optimistic, I thought that after reading this article, I should be able to find a way to get out of my funk. No, I did not have all of the "tools" to get specific reasons going on in my body but I did have my FitBit information on mindfulness, calories in, calories out, breathing, sleep patterns...etc. So, I felt confident enough that I could navigate my own way  through the process. 

After reading and studying my own data, I was able to come up with some ways to RESET my mindset to help guide me through my trouble areas.

• Instead of feeling guilty for not exercising enough, I should fit in scheduled times of the day for walking and biking. Some is better than none.
• Back pain can and will go away sometimes by taking care of the fascia when it is becomes stresses and tightens up. I have learned that rolling my foot over a ball for one minute a day and wearing proper fitting shoes make a huge difference in walking and reducing backaches. 
• For foods, I reset to focus on fiber and plant based foods. I was sort of on the right track in this area in that a high amount of carbs is not good for the body. It causes an inflammatory response. Does that mean giving up a cupcake or slice of pie now and then? The key words are 'now and then.' Thinking before eating helps. Pause and think if I really need that cookie or if I really want to celebrate with wine and cheese with my husband or friends. When I think about nutrition, I try to now think of it not as good or bad but more of is it something that I really need at that time and will my meals before and after an indulgence help to make up for the intentional indulgence? 
• Resetting my mind on breathing was a little harder. I thought that I had that under control. I recently learned how breathing can stop anxiety and stress, it is just that I need to be sure that I am breathing from my abdomen. Watch a baby sleeping and how their abdomen moves up and down - not their chest. Two other ideas is that when I breathe in the positive vibes, then I exhale the negative vibes. Recently I heard another method which I can definitely relate to. The beach and waves are my happy place. So breathe in the wave as it is coming to the shore and exhale as it is ebbing outward toward the sea.
• Stop telling myself to, "Suck it up, Buttercup!" I would never say that to a friend so why am I talking to myself this way? Self-criticism is not good for anyone. Self-compassion is much more helpful. My brain can be retrained. 

For me it is about getting into a routine, managing social media and using my alone time for meditating (even short moments) and exercising more, not longer. Continue reading my fiction and working on writing with soft jazz playing in the background. Most of all it is getting more sleep. That takes getting up and turning off the tv. It will be in the paper tomorrow or on YouTube to revisit if I think it is someone I want to see past my set bedtime.

“Every sunset is an opportunity to reset. Every sunrise begins with new eyes.”

― Richie Norton

HAPPINESS

 HAPPINESS

This famous picture of Snoopy doing his "Happy Dance" is how I want to feel most all of the time. Is that possible? Well, not exactly. There are times that can be sad, as well they should be. There is a time for all emotions. Most of all, I need to close my eyes and think what I can do to make my life happier. I did this little trick and like most people would I be happy if I won the big Powerball? DUH! Yes, I would. Not just for me though. I would want to use it wisely to help our children and ourselves take care of the things that are always out there hanging over our heads to try to bring us down. Stuff like student loan debts, mortgages, car payments...things like these that I listed will always be there. The question is if someone could snap their fingers and all of this "stuff" would disappear would you be happier? 

We tend to forget that there is always wonder and joy surrounding us all the time. Little things that I know I can easily overlook. I bet you do too. It is the small moments that we need to focus on. 

A perfect example for me was when I went to my local coffee shop for my Keto Pink Passion Tea, the barista told me that the car in front of me had paid for it. I was shocked. 

So, I said well then, scan my card and I will pay it forward for the car behind me. I came away so happy with the feeling of being on the receiving end of my purchase but also in the giving. Little moments. If I had been at home it could have been brewing the perfect cup of coffee or tea. Or my husband bringing in the coffee that he took time to brew for me while I was dressing.

Even getting up at 6 when 8 would be so much better, it is all up to me whether I am going to be a grump or happy to see two furbabies who are so excited and happy to see me and curl up on the sofa with me. How can anyone not feel the love and happiness that they are sharing with me? Usually it is dark and I am the only one who can take the picture so you will just have to trust me on this one. Pets can bring all of us such happiness. Just pay attention. Sort of like the saying about take the time to smell the roses. These are the things that can bring you happiness.

Check out things like the stars in the clear sky, the moon in all of its phases. 

I have started taking notes of the little things that feed my soul and writing it in my journal. Remembering that  happiness is not getting everything I want. It is the ability to allow myself to take the time and energy to see what I can use to put in my happiness bank. Nothing and no one will make you feel happy except yourself. Plus, the good news is that happiness is found within ourselves. It is so much more simple than most of us believe. Happiness is a matter of believing in ourselves.

As I go through my life searching for those little things that make me happy, these rules are guidelines to becoming happier. We all have that choice.

I came across a poem written by Abimnola T. Alabi  titled The Choice Is Mine.

Life may not let me choose my lot,

But whether I'd be happy or not...

That is my choice.

To leave hurtful memories behind 

Or allow them to bother my mind...

The choice is mine.

To fret over a mistake when it's done

Or learn from it and move on...

The choice is mine.

To be bothered by all that people say

Or ignore them and go my own way...

The choice is mine.

To hide my feelings, pent up, unspoken,

Or say my mind and ease the burden...

The choice is mine.

To enjoy what I've been able to gain

Or ungratefully regard it with disdain...

The choice is mine.

Sometimes I won't get to pick my lot,

But whether I'll be happy or not...

Will always be my choice.