HOPE

HOPE

New Year's is here. Goodbye 2022 and hello 2023. Lots of people either just move on through it as if it is nothing to get excited about and others make New Year's Resolutions. Then they seem to get all upset when they can't seem to keep them. 

I was one of those people. Then, I discovered a new way to go into the New Year. I pick a word to live by throughout the year. No matter what comes up, I go back to that word and figure out where I will go from there based on that word. Some words that I have chosen in previous years have been perseverance, serendipity and gratitude. All based on what is happening in my life or what I would like to work on to see more of in my life.

A friend of mine gave me the grand idea of the word HOPE. She is pregnant and already has two boys. She said that as she was driving thoughts from above calmed her and said to have hope and to name her Hope. Even though she does not know the gender yet, she is holding out hope that it will be a girl so that she can name her Hope.

That is when I had a thought of my word for 2023. After the devastating loss of my soulmate and love of my life for 22 plus years, I made it though some really tough holidays such as Thanksgiving, our two birthdays just days apart, Christmas/Boxing Day and New Year's. Next will be the following month on Valentine's Day which is also would have been our 21st wedding anniversary. 

I will continue to have HOPE in knowing that he is here with me. I can feel him. I can even hear him talking to me. Even reading his words on cards and journals tells me that he is watching over me and will never let me go. We both had a special kind of love for one another and had no problem in sharing it. I know that between the two of us the words, "I Love You" were said at least a dozen times a day. And they were most definitely heart felt. It was just so many little things that he did. Such as bringing me morning coffee, making sure that I had roses around me, always picking up after himself and sometimes me and he cooked - many times being the major chef. I was his sous chef and cleaned up along the way. Even the laundry was a total teamwork project.

A quote from Barbara Kingsolver that states that the very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof. That is what is part of my 2023 HOPE: to live inside my HOPE, not just admiring it. LIVE IT!

This quote reminds me of just how Steve felt. Never live in fear for it will not help guide you. HOPE is what will guide you to a bright future. So that is what I want to work mindfully on in 2023. Hope is the one thing that can get us through the darkest of times. Since Steve's passing, every once in a while I can go into a dark place. Thankfully, I have family and friends who help to pull me out and with HOPE, I should be able to work on this in my own mind. Although, I will always be grateful for those who help support me through the tough times.

One particular quote from an author that we all know totally fits how I feel. HOPE is a good thing and no good thing ever dies. So I will always have Steve about me.

My youngest granddaughter wants to tell her 'Smiley,' Steve, something every once in a while. She closes her eyes, puts her hands together under her chin and talks to him. So I do know for a fact that he is here with all of us. Never doubt a 6 year old's wisdom. It just takes HOPE. What a good word to live this year by!