What To Wear?

When I retired, so many people told me that I could now put away my stylish clothes, heels and jewelry and put on t-shirts and sweats everyday. Never having to worry about make-up or any of the fashion style that I tried to have while in the working world. Obviously, they did not know me very well. 

Even while in the working world, there were weekends. Did I let myself go on Saturday and Sunday or days off when I had a routine job to go to daily? The answer is a big fat NO! There are many reasons why and I will try to touch on some of my reasoning. It may go against what others believe in and all I can say is to each their own. What makes me feel comfortable does not necessarily make you feel comfortable, nor should it.

First of all, I was brought up by two very Southern ladies: my Mom and my Mamaw. Neither one of them came out of the bedroom in the morning without at least washing their faces and putting on a moisturizer and a dab of lipstick, along with a brush through their hair at the bare minimum. Then they would make breakfast for themselves and sometimes others before going back and dressing for the day. If they were headed out to work, they came out fully dressed to go, make up, hair and all. If they were staying home, they would dress a bit more casually, but very stylish and most definitely makeup. Their motto was to look your best helps one to mentally feel better about themselves. It worked for them, therefore this would become my motto as well. At this stage, I should add that when I went off to college my sorority house mother felt this same way. We were not to come out of our rooms in the morning without adding a bit of color to our faces and dressing for the day. (I am pretty sure that it is not still like that now.)

Just so you know this was not just a female habit, my Papaw and brother were expected to come into the mainstream of the house looking nice also. No one ever came out in slouchy pajamas. They were either dressed or had a nice robe on for breakfast before going back to dress for the day. On weekends my Papaw would always be working on "stuff" in his garage. This became every day once he was retired. He had a standard outfit, of which my Mamaw made sure were always clean, pressed and hanging in his closet.

He would never wear this out except possibly to the hardware store. If we were going out he dressed in what today is considered business casual but never ever went out without his hat.

In today's world there is advice on how to dress for every situation such as the new Mom, the woman going back in the work place and of course the catalogs that show everything in between. From what I see when I go out now that I am retired, maybe there should be articles about women who are a bit older (but not feeling older) of what choices we have to dress. 

Really, it comes down to what one feels about themselves. Having my kind of family background probably is why I feel the way I do. It is not a case of dressing for others, but for myself. It just makes me feel good. I am not criticizing but taking notice that I feel too many of us are lumped together with a frumpy image of a woman going around in sweats or work out shorts and t shirts and no makeup. The next two pictures are not that bad, just not something that I would not want to go out shopping in, yet when I go to the grocery or run errands, I see so much worse than this. Again, I must say, to each their own. If this makes you feel good about yourself, then go for it.

There is a time for work out clothes and just a touch of make up since we sweat it off anyway, plus a pulled back pony tail or head band to keep hair out of your face for working out. I am lucky, in that we have turned a room in our home into a workout room and it has three pieces of equipment and weights so there is no need to go out to a gym. When I did go out to the gym, I used the locker room to change and add a touch of makeup if I were going anywhere after my workout. Otherwise, it was straight home to shower and to become ME again. Even if I were not going out again, I wanted to feel like ME again and get something casual on with a bit of makeup. After all, in my mind at least, I had that workout glow going for me so why not touch it up a bit? Nothing wrong with a pair of jeans and casual shirt with comfy shoes for the day. 

There are some days that I may be headed out to lunch or an appointment or a special date with my husband. I love to throw together comfy, yet very stylish outfits and then move on to writing at my desk. It just makes me feel good.

You must determine your personality to help you dress successfully as a retiree. The best way is to determine if your personality is more classic, romantic, bohemian, dramatic, minimalist or sporty. Each personality will have different types of clothes. I personally feel that I can fit somewhat into each personality category, depending on how I feel each morning. That way it gives me some different styles to choose from. If you ever watched "Grace & Frankie" with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin, then you may know that Grace is the classic, while Frankie is the creative bohemian. Being in a successful TV series, the writers tend to take each character strictly by their personality type. Without going overboard in the classic wardrobe, that along with some romantic style and sporty style, I also every once in a while like a simple bohemian look. After all, I am a writer, former musician and wanna be artist.

There is a whole new "pro-age" makeup routine going around. It seemed to have started with BOOM, by Cindy Joseph. She was discovered as a model at age 49. In my favorite catalog from Chico's, I noticed her right away. She looked as if she were glowing in every picture and since I am a Chico's kind of gal, to me she always looked stylish. Due to her good looks as she aged, she discovered BOOM cosmetics and showed many women, through YOU TUBE, just how to achieve a natural, graceful look, no matter what your age.

It is up to each woman to decide what makes her feel good about herself, not what others see, but about how she feels. My thoughts on clothing when you are retired are that your requirements are not that much different from the clothes you wore to work; smart and casual. I feel like too many women start dressing really old for fear of dressing too young or that they feel so comfort driven that sweat pants and a hoodie become their staple in their wardrobe. Don't get me wrong! I have some great sweat suits that are stylish and actually came from Chico's. On cool days, they are very comfortable yet stylish. (not just any old pair of sweats and throw on sweatshirt) The other days, it is quite exciting to throw on a comfortable outfit with necklace or scarf, whether I am going out or not. It just makes me feel good.

Anyone can look at the before and after pictures above and see the difference. To me, just looking at the two pictures, I can even feel the difference. It is all about aging gracefully. Style puts spice in my life and somehow I feel much more confident within myself. Finding the right outfit for the day adds to looking forward to an exciting day, whether it be sitting at my desk writing, or easy chair reading or just "being at home" with the love of my life. 

No way can I leave out that my husband seems to feel the same way. He never has lost his touch of style, whether it is comfortable jeans or shorts with a great fitting polo shirt and sometimes even a great  t-shirt. Whatever he chooses, it is the image that he wants to create for himself.

It is a feel good image that even on days when one does not feel their best, it helps mentally give you the "ummpphh" that you need to carry on in a more positive manner. There are more and more baby boomers out there and no one needs to be a frumpy old grandma or great-grandma. (or grandpa for that matter!)

To end on a positive note let me give you a great picture and quote. 

"I am not interested in looking younger. I want to look healthy and radiant. I want to look like me."

Cindy Joseph

Responsible Pet Owners

Most of us all want to be considered a responsible pet owner. If not, then shame on you! Steve and I actually were really wanting to have a dog to come home to daily. However, it would not have been fair to the dog if we had one while we were working. Our hours did not allow for a dog to be home alone, not going out and receiving one on one interactions. We did not know anyone who could come a few times a day to let our dog out and go for a short walks each day. 

To each their own, but for the kind of dog that we wanted, we did not want our dog out in weather, even with a nice dog house. We wanted an inside dog. I understand hunting dogs, as long as they are well protected against the elements, probably do belong outside. Our yard just was not a suitable place to have an outside dog, due to a swimming pool.

So what did we do? We waited until I retired and then did some research on which breed of dog would fit our lifestyle. There are some wonderful rescue dogs and some of them you do not have to go through the "puppy stage" with them. We, however, wanted to start at the beginning of their lives. I have heard many wonderful stories of adopted rescue dogs. Not knowing enough about dogs, I know that it is also not quite so easy finding out the history of most rescue dogs. This was important to both of us, as we have grandchildren and need a dog who will love to be around young children. This was not an easy decision and took much research. 

We wanted to find a breeder of golden doodles that was nearby. Goldens are known for their goofy personalities and intelligence. They do seem to be hypo-allergenic but we did not get one (or two) who do not shed. They don't shed much, but they do shed in tumbleweeds rolling across the floor over to a corner. (Roombas help to control this.) Luckily for us, through a friend from high school on Facebook, she gave me a name of a breeder only about an hour or so away. 

I called Kim Mills Davis, owner of Doodles by Design and we were able to come to her house to pick out the remaining pups in the current liter. We were able to see the Mom and Dad and how wonderful she kept them in their own special home. It was clean and she was so loving with them. We are hands on and our first puppy definitely chose us by climbing all over Steve and being persistent, even though one of his little sisters kept pushing him out of the way. He was ours. Stole our hearts immediately.

We were like parents of a newborn. Davis Miles came home with us at 8 weeks cuddled in my lap wrapped in his red fleece blanket that Kim gave us with the scents of his liter mates.

It was not that difficult, actually. He caught on to ringing the tinkle bells to go out and not once had an accident in his crate that he went into at night. We did leave it open during the day and he went in and came out as he pleased. It was his spot. We did limit the spaces in the house that he was allowed to go and that helped in two ways: having an accident or mainly getting hold of a tea towel, a pillow or something that he was not to have, including chewing on woodwork. He was our chewer. 

When he became old enough to be neutered, we
 talked to our vet. It is something that ALL responsible pet owners should do unless they are going to become a reputable breeder. After getting it all set up, the day came and all went well until we came to pick him up and this is what we saw:

Truly, it was pitiful. I had seen these contraptions before, however, I was sure that this being 2017, something better was out there to use to keep pets from licking and tearing their stitches. Obviously, not.
Davis barely fit through doorways in our home, much less the car. It was hard to get a drink or to eat, and forget about a comfortable sleep. We had to fold it in to fit him in his crate and there was no turning around inside. We had 11 days of this torture. He went through it more than we did but it tore us up to see him like this. Happy days when he got it off, yet this was not before he had chewed it off and had to get a new one. Pieces of plastic were everywhere and who knows how much he digested? Thank goodness, not enough to harm him. 

Time marched on and we were happier and happier with having Davis around. It was wonderful when Steve retired and Davis did not have to race to the back door when he heard the garage door open, knowing that Steve would be coming in to pet and play with him. I was with him already all day so I became something like chopped liver. 

More and more we were seeing and hearing that two doodles were better than one. We ignored it for a while and then saw how others played together, and had a playmate always. Maybe they were right? We really did not pursue it until I noticed on Kim's page, her new liter of puppies. Two liters, in fact, ranging in cream, apricot, red, chocolate and black. Davis was black and gets loads of comments about being a black goldendoodle. His Mom was a standard black AKC poodle and his Dad was an AKC English Golden Retriever. All of the pups were black. 

These two liters were F2, and parents, who were there on the premises, were both golden doodles. We were thinking that we would like a mini goldendoodle because Davis is 55 - 60 pounds. These puppies were not minis, however, Kim's guess would be  40 - 45 pounds based on parents. DNA plays a big part in this. Davis has a liter mate who is 95 pounds. That's a big puppy dog. And doodles do think they are always puppies; little lap dogs.

We decided to go with Davis to see if any of these puppies seemed the right fit for our family. One of the females started nuzzling Davis and both of their tails were going non-stop. 

Davis and Maggie Mae became inseparable from the very beginning. Where he went, she went and wherever she went, he went. They shared everything. 

No squabbling, mainly because if they both received a bully stick, they went off happy for about 2 minutes and that is when Maggie Mae took Davis' stick and also had hers. Davis just let her, knowing that he would get it back soon. She was ruthless with him, pulling on his tail or legs or ears. He just let her play. Once he thought that enough was enough, he gently put one of his big paws over her to quiet her. She listened. Dogs have their own way of communicating.

Maggie Mae was turning 6 months and we decided to go with our wonderful vet's advice that research shows owners can do it before or after first heat without worry. Now was the time. I was already dreading that cone coming home with her after the surgery. I had some friends who told me that they trimmed 5 inches off the diameter to make it more manageable. Others told me of a 'onesie' like babies wear. It snaps to let access to go to the bathroom, yet keeps the pet from licking at and tearing into stitches. I asked our vet about that one and they did not approve of those based on the fabric not allowing the stitches to heal. Guess it depends on the stitches and whether they are covered in bandages, etc.

Haley

 She did say, however, that they now used the 'E-soft cone' that was a soft pillow around their necks. Everyone of her clients loved these. They work and they are cute as can be. 

Below are some pictures and a brief history of how 'the cone' came to be and how things are improving. 

The cone's official name is the E-collar, which is short for the Elizabethan collar, from the Elizabethan times in the UK. The nickname is the 'cone of shame' given to it by pet owners because of its bad reputation from pet owners and the social media.

Veterinarians actually used whatever they could to make do with a cone shape our of cardboard or even the film of old x-rays to help their pet patients stay away from their stitches. The E-collar was actually patented by a man in the U.S. in 1959. It is like the one that Davis wore in the picture above.

If you look at this E-collar, perhaps you are like me. This is just plain "overkill." Way too big. This large dog would be like a bull in a china shop wielding this thing around. Surely there is a better way?

And no! This is NOT the way. I must admit it did make me chuckle. It does show the absurdity of it all. At least there the cone was not the size of the poor dog in the picture above.

This is our Maggie Mae wearing the soft E-collar. Although she does not look to be smiling, remember she just had surgery. She can at least fit through doors and has a nice soft pillow to rest her head on when she sleeps. It does not look to be some archaic device from the dark ages. We are so happy that if she must wear one (and we get why she must) this is the one that works for all of us. 

Some friends have told us that they could take off their doodles e-collar because their doodle did not ever bother their stitches. Well, I did try that and within 2 minutes, Maggie Mae was working at licking the bandage and tape over her stitches. The collar went right back on. That is just not her personality. 

We are counting down the days to when she gets this off. 7 more days. We can do this!

HAPPY DAYS WILL SOON BE HERE AGAIN!

Too Little Information Can Be Dangerous

With all of the technology available, I for one, am having a helluva time keeping up with it all. It is as if too much information is being thrown at me all at once. Just as soon as I learn one new trick to make something work on my computer or smartphone, then something else comes along. It is a never ending learning cycle.

I suppose this is a good thing. Isn't this what great teachers taught us at school? As adults we must grab the bull by the horns and get on board with all of the latest tech knowledge before we get left behind. Based on one of our granddaughters, I am pretty sure that I have been left behind, although not totally. There are others that are so much less savvy than myself. I am not being critical or judgmental. Perhaps they do not need to know at this stage in their life. My desire to continue to write and be published requires I stay up to date. Scanning documents and going on line for investments, insurance, banking, bills, etc. is very important to me and makes my life easier. At some point in time, I believe that this method of getting information will be the only way. It already is the quickest way.

One sure thing is that if you don't know something you need to ask for help instead of whining about it. My daughter uses these words with her two girls. Especially when something is wrong and they are not communicating the problem to her, just crying about it and through the crying uttering words that are not understandable. Her saying is, "Stop crying and use your words so that I can try to help you." Usually this works.

For me, I am not afraid to keep trying to solve my tech problem before I get to the point of crying and trying to ask for help. I remember when computers came out in the classrooms for the teachers to use and then a few set up in a daisy chain for students to go to the classroom computer center. So that the few tech support people of the district could work on the BIG problems, each grade level designated one of the teachers to be their tech "go-to person." Every year I was chosen. An honor? YES! Was I deserving of it? NO! It was to my very techie son's horror when he learned of this. He was proud, yet in disbelief that there were others that knew even less than I did. What he didn't understand was that I was not afraid to push buttons. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't and made matters worse. One thing is for sure...I kept trying until there was nothing left to try. All techies first go to question for the user having problems is, "Did you reboot?" This I have learned solves so many problems before you even start to become frustrated.

Definitely, it helps if the computer is user friendly. Not just the computer, but the programs installed on the computer. Let me give you an example. My desktop was sort of, kind of on its last leg. I use it everyday to write. After all, I am a writer. Yes, I have a wonderful laptop that I use, also. When I first got it, I had to relearn quite a few tricks. There was a whole new Windows program and the set up was totally different. I feel that I can brag and boast some in that once I ask for help and am shown what to do, I usually retain that information. I have even been known to write it down for safe keeping, especially if I have to go through trying to find the process that I needed. 

We have two desktops and two laptops, two smart phones and two tablets in our household. Therefore, it is critical that we know how to use them. Lucky for us, Steve found this marvelous techie, who quite rightly calls himself, "The PC Guy!" He most definitely is the Memphis PC Guy. He is reliable, trustworthy and can speak in our language. We try to solve our problems ourselves but when we can't, we go online to book an appointment. It is all done so easily that you are already amazed at how he has it all set up. We highly recommend him.

We had him out to check on my desktop and Steve's laptop. He gave us the possible solutions. One was that he would come out and install a new 'what-cha-ma-call-it' on my hard drive. Or we could go to Costco and get a new one and then he could come back and try to fix the old one or set up all of the stuff from the old computer to the new one. As far as Steve's laptop, he got some of the programs to work again, just not all. It had basically seen its day. Actually, both of them had. We already had to have Mike, the PC Guy install something in the motherboard. Once you have to continue to replace things, you really are better off just getting a new one. (This is also our philosophy on cars once the warranty has expired.)

This whole blog started when I was up quite early and thought that I would get a head start on my blog, yet all of a sudden it was not where I had it before. I did the reboot thing. I went over to my laptop to be sure it was still there. It was. I could access my blog to write in two different manners. Neither way worked on my new desktop. It simply was not there. Before I started to hyperventilate, I worked on slow and easy breathing to help keep me calm and collected.

Just as I was ready to throw in the towel and ask Steve to look, or call my son and last resort send Mike a question on his website about getting my blogspot to return, I decided to reboot one more time. This time? It worked. I can't explain why it worked this time and not before. To be honest, I don't know if I will have to go through all of this the next time I want to check on it or write. All I know is that it worked this time.

CHEERS TO ME!

"Everything is figureoutable!"

Marie Forleo

It Is All About Space

When we decided to become a two doodle family, we thought that we had it all worked out. For a while, our plan came together. The study, where I work could hold both of their crates and the smaller bed plus give me my desk space and a love seat. With a little creative storage ideas, it was a solution. Our two dogs loved to cuddle together.

Then, although Davis was his full adult size, Maggie continued to grow. As she grew, their activities started to prove that they needed more space. 

So, we opened up the doors that led into the kitchen. We still kept the gate on the other side of the kitchen to the breakfast room, as well as the large four way wooden gate that stretched across the foyer. Keeping the laundry room and powder room doors closed also limited them to two rooms now. They played and chased each other around the kitchen island. Maggie discovered her reflection in the bottom oven and loved barking at herself. Davis just sort of shook his head as if to say, "Silly puppy."

They seemed to share everything. Sometimes I gave in and instead of holding each of their food bowls in different hands, I just let them eat out of one. Never has there ever been any growling or snarling over food. However, if we give them each a frozen bone marrow, Maggie is happy for about 1 minute, then she attempts to get his and take it over to where her bone is. Sweet, gentle Davis, being the big brother that he is allows it for a while. Then he taunts her with a toy and goes in for his own bone. They work it out in ways that only a brother and sister can.

Davis used to have the whole top of the love seat to himself until she decided she like that spot too.

Both of the dogs think they are still 8 pound puppies. Davis at 60 pounds and Maggie Mae at 34 pounds have no clue about personal space. Poor Steve and one of our granddaughters have both of them trying to fit in. The dogs didn't seem to mind very much, although I must say that they all looked a bit squashed.

One day as I was writing and trying to work a feeling of claustrophobia came over me. It felt like none of us had our personal space. So, we opened up more space to both of our dogs. The gate to the breakfast room came down, and the foyer gate folded up and was put away. The only space that they could not go was the Reading Room and to the stairs. The upstairs is really not a problem except that I am the one who worries they will get in their chasing zoomie stage and someone will get hurt if they fly up and down the stairs. We keep all doors closed from our days of only having Davis. He could go up and get into no trouble plus he very carefully went up and came down at a slow pace due to the hardwood floors and slipping, which he did only once. Smart dog - he remembered.  

As far as the Reading Room, Davis has a bad habit of wanting to get one certain pillow and usually just carries it around but every once in a while will try to shake the living daylights out of it. So we only let them in this room when we are in there reading and then they can play.

We do not have a fenced yard that allows for running around and getting their energy out. As the pictures above show, they adore the freedom to romp and roam and even when they do play with many other dogs while at WGAC Doggie Daycare, they manage to get their one on one time with each other to play together.

Now with the configuration that we have set up for our two furbabies, they seem so much happier and at peace. You can almost set your watch by the times they choose to play tag and chase each other around the kitchen island, through the breakfast room and around that table and then move on into the dining room and around that table before Maggie comes flying into the study and leaps up on the love seat only to then leap on top of Davis. 

Total entertainment to watch the two of them play out this cat and mouse tag game. At times it is almost like watching children play hide and seek. One is in the study being as quiet and still as they can while their eyes are looking right and left to see which doorway the other one is going to come through. Davis knows how to tiptoe quietly. Maggie Mae has learned and she reminds me of a cat creeping in ever so slowly to surprise him and leap on top of him. 

Davis and Maggie Mae seem so happy with their new freedom and so far have not abused this privilege once I removed a tall vase with long wooden twigs in it. Maggie Mae thought it was something to chew on like twigs outside. Creative placement for that temptation solved that problem. 

Both Steve and I must say at least several times throughout the day of how we could not imagine our lives without these two crazy and loving 'doods.' When we go somewhere that requires a quick run in to pick up something, or drive through bank teller or pick up quick items, they love to get seatbelted in the car and come along. One of us stays in the car with them with the air on in our summer heat here. They have learned all the clues from one of us saying are you ready to go, or if they see me get my shoes on and grab my handbag. The two of them run to the kitchen to stare at their leashes to go to the car. They love it when they get a treat at the bank or pharmacy drive-thru. But their favorite?

You guessed it! A puppuccino at Starbucks!

Walking on the Balance Beam

At some point in my life, I knew that I needed to disengage my job from my purpose in life. These are two different entities. I was becoming my job! The biggest clue, or at least my wake up call, was when I realized that my vocabulary was becoming that of a 6 year old. It horrified me! Something had to change.

Please don't misunderstand me. I loved my job of teaching and then moving on to administration, but this was NOT what made me who I was. Sometimes, they overlapped but it still did not make me who I was.

It all begins when you hear yourself saying, "I'm a journalist, or I'm a teacher, or I'm a doctor." More than likely this grew from the times when we were in primary school and we were asked what you wanted to be when we grew up. We have been doing this ever since those days many years ago. So, this must be what defines us? No, it should not ever be this way. For one Mom here, I am so thankful because my eldest daughter wrote on her first grade page that she wanted to be 'a mean school bus driver.' Apparently, she thought this woman was amazing to be able to not only drive this big, yellow school bus but also able to handle all of the shenanigans going on at the same time. Of course, she and a few others were never in trouble and the driver treated them with the utmost kindness, even handing out treats to them as they got off the bus. I have nothing against bus drivers. They must be saints. However, I am quite delighted that my daughter decided to go on to earn her graduate degree and is working as a behavior analyst. However, I am even more proud of her for not letting that define her purpose in life. She is so very good at having her life and work loads balanced. 

Even if you are the best at whatever you do at work, we still need our own identity outside of work that defines us. There has to be a balance of our work and our life. Our work should never become our life. We need friends and relationships at work, however relationships are more than work. Having a circle of friends outside of work is so very important because these friends will be able to support us when things get tough at work and they can do it from the outside looking in. This can put a whole new perspective on how we handle the problem. Both sets of friends are so very important.

Happiness is the least important factor in being successful at work and a completely fulfilled human being. Look all around you and take a moment to dig deeper and see for yourself. Everyone is not always happy there at work. We must value ourselves to achieve happiness. This does not always come with a pay raise, a better title or job recognition. I most definitely can speak to that as I am sure most of you all can do this too.

Once I found myself thinking in this mindset, I started to realize things that I did to find "me" again. My job was interesting but it was not all of me. It was not what my heart and soul needed to fulfill the real me. I actually started answering the question when asked of me, "So, what do you do?" with a comeback of, "For fun or for money? Or just plain come out and say that I play the guitar, love to find a cozy spot to curl up and read or work on training our dog. Another example of answering this question is to define responsibilities that I have such as I manage to keep what could be considered total chaos in getting four 30 minute rounds of 250 little human beings into one large room in lines to get a tray of food, eat, talk with friends without throwing food. Then, to have them pick up their trash, line up and head on back to their classrooms in some kind of order. Or even calmly listen to a parent explain to me why their child should not have received the grade that the teacher gave him. (could it be little Johnny did not turn in a single assignment)? Diplomacy is what it takes to turn the tides around.

Then I realized that I needed to take the time to cultivate my true passions and friends outside of work. This is something that totally is the #1 motivation for me to find my true purpose and what helped me to retire happily. I knew that I wanted to write a novel. (Almost everyone has one in them). For me, it was finding the time to actually write. So, taking notes on what I wanted to write is what I managed to do while going on to earn a living. I know that I was lucky enough to find a job that interested me and dealt easily with my ADD. It worked while teaching whatever grade because in order to keep things moving and interesting, a teacher needs to switch gears often. I was never a "sit and get" type teacher who did all the talking. Kids learn by being engaged.

Then fast forward to administration. Whoa...definitely helps to have a touch of ADD for that job. Most days before 9:00 A.M., I had put out a minimum of 25 fires on average. Things ranging from parents showing up on the grounds angry about their child being bullied because one first grade girl did not want to play with her the day before, to a teacher telling me that no copy machine is working in the building (of course, no one reported any of this the day before), to the district calling to give me a message that someone was coming out to talk to me about scheduling and best practices being used in our school, to a group of parents who wanted to meet at that moment to discuss recess times.) Meanwhile, the cafeteria manager is calling to ask what to do when the fuse has blown and several teachers complaining that their rooms had not been cleaned the night before. The list goes on and on, as I am sure that you can tell.

Most of all, I knew when it was time for me to retire. It was when district administration was coming down so hard on our special school to copy what other schools were doing. One size does not fit all and this was not to their likings or beliefs. This meant an exit for me. 

When your way of making a living is causing too much stress, then it is time to move on to your life. This is where I come to the purpose of this blog. Before you retire, I highly suggest that you have a plan with your passions to pursue. If you retire with a mindset that you are now without a purpose, then you are not going to last very long. I hear this a lot, actually. It makes me so sad.

Really, I do not mean a second job or career, although it might be that. My purpose belongs to me and this is forever. One large part of my ability to retire a bit earlier than I had planned is that I worked with a financial planner with my husband. It was exactly what the two of us needed and so we began this process with our bank team of planners as soon as we married. Neither one of us came into our marriage with a great deal of wealth. It was through the planning with our team and living within our means that we were able to accumulate what we did in order to make this happen in less than a decade.

"Our self-identity should be defined as who we are as individuals. What we do for work is only a piece of our lives." This is a quote from Rachel Tulipano.  We all need to  focus on the things that matter most to us and always be grateful for what we have. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Enrich your lives and think twice about what you would say if asked to tell someone about yourself. Career accomplishments are something, that is true, but they certainly are not everything. What is your purpose?

How Early is Too Early?

Who exactly is it that decides on August 1st, that Halloween decorations should come out of the closet and be displayed so that consumers can buy them up now while the "gettin' is good?" Halloween is three months away. I am all for planning early on holiday themes but please give me a break. People are still taking vacations to the beach or swimming in their pools. While outside of stores ceramic jack o'lanterns are giving us spooky grins and inside there are aisles dedicated to Halloween candies and costumes. 

First of all, I am slightly biased. Out of all of the holidays, Halloween is my least favorite one of all. 

This picture along with other dress up costumes just give me the creeps. I found nothing exciting about going into a haunted house as a child. Thinking back, the only good thing about Halloween was going from house to house saying, "Trick or Treat" and being given candy. Of course, once home with the candy it was then turned over to my Mom who rationed it over time. 

I did the same thing with my own children and they are now doing it with their children. Better than being up all night with a sick child who ate way too much candy and now has a stomach ache or is on such a sugar high they will never calm down to sleep. I will say that while I had some control over the costumes, they were never scary or gory creatures. 

Plus, in today's times, very few parents take their children out trick or treating due to the apparent dangers. It is a whole new era, unfortunately not all of it is good. There are parties held at schools or churches where parents can take their kids all dressed up to go around for their candy. The name trunk or treat is used because cars park along in rows with their trunks open for the children to walk by to receive their treats. Some large businesses even have a day set aside for parents to bring in children to show off their Halloween fashions and to receive candy.

Really, in order to prepare for Halloween, I am sure that October 1st is quite soon enough to start looking for a costume or even piecing one together. If you live in the South and buy your pumpkin too early, it will rot sitting out waiting for Halloween night. Retailers are ready for the stampede on decorations and candy. If people buy the big bags of candy now, then they will have to turn around and buy more closer to the real date because they would have nibbled it all piece by piece. (Just speaking from experience!)

Back to School promotions really do have to begin in July because so many schools around here begin in early August. Supply lists are on web pages and if parents don't get on it fast, they are searching for the right tablet, glue, notebook, and uniforms. Who can be bothered with Halloween when school time is gearing up? 

Sort of on the same subject, just how early is it for Thanksgiving and Christmas merchandise to start coming out in the stores? Thanksgiving, not so much. The pumpkins just sort of go from Halloween right into November for Thanksgiving. 

Except for a Tom Turkey decoration here and there, it is not as big of a deal as Halloween and Christmas. That is unless you are a Martha Stewart wanna-be.

When she had a TV show, I actually watched it and she opened up a walk in closet that had china and table decorations for every holiday of the year all neatly arranged on shelves and labeled.

The next big question of the day is how early is too early for Christmas decorations to be displayed in the stores. Well, for your information, if you open your eyes in some of the large warehouse type stores and large department stores, there are actually some Christmas lights already up and blinking. It seems to just get earlier and earlier. Some people seem to actually like this. They say that it gives them extra time to get a lot of their Christmas shopping done early. They can stock up on wrapping paper, ribbons, lights, ornaments and even artificial trees. 

Some people have even told me that Christmas is their favorite holiday of the year and they really want to go all out for decorating. I am not so sure that decorating in October is the way to convey how special this holiday really is. At least wait until Halloween has come and gone. 

Even I would agree that holding off until after Thanksgiving before Christmas decorations come out is a bit late. For those who love the Black Friday which comes the day after Thanksgiving, these people are seriously into their Christmas shopping. As for me, I avoid going out of our home on not only Black Friday, but the whole weekend. 

We have had all of our children here for Thanksgiving and lucky for us, they all helped to bring down our Christmas decorations and even set some of the lights and decorations out. This is a tremendous help because one of us gets dizzy going up the flimsy attic drop down stairs and the other one has trouble with the heavy, bulky boxes that need to be brought down those same stairs. 

There have been articles about people who dedicate a whole room in their house to store their Christmas decorations. Some don't even take the tree down and box it up again. It remains decorated with lights ready to plug in. That is a bit much for my taste but to each their own. I never want to be accused of being judgmental. We just do not have a space like that to dedicate to Christmas. Secondly, I don't like too many decorations all around. It just seems messy to me. Tastefully done in a minimalistic sort of fashion works best for me. What others do in their homes works for them, I am sure. My last point is that I like to change the theme of the tree around from year to year. Even a good basic traditional tree may be all silver ornaments and decorations, or gold or a combination. Or, I may even decide to go with a retro Christmas tree of white.

Everyone has their opinion and are entitled to how they feel. I love the holidays and even have already started shopping. I make a list of what has already been purchased for friends and family. That way, and this was a lesson learned the hard way, I don't forget and overspend or buy the same thing twice. Also, a great lesson that I learned is to wrap as the gifts come in. It saves spending hours wrapping everything at once. We no longer have little eyes peeping in closets to see gifts so we can wrap and put out of sight until the tree goes up. 

One more Christmas note to make is to be careful that you do not go overboard on outside Christmas lights. Remember, the movie where Chevy Chase blew the whole neighborhood's fuse out and no one had electricity due to the number of lights he used for decorations? I believe that Tim the Toolman did the same thing on his TV sitcom, "Home Improvement." We actually have a home in our neighborhood who uses the blow up decorations in their yard with spotlights shining on them. When I say "them," I am talking at least 30 huge blow up Christmas decorations.

Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!