Speaking of tricks...this blog is really not about folding fitted sheets. I ran across a quote that I could not find attributed to anyone in particular. "Talking to some people is like talking to a fitted sheet." To me, this meant it could be very frustrating for one of two different reasons.
The first reason is that the person you are trying to talk to is very shy and quiet. If you get the honors of being placed with this person at a dinner function or some other get together, there are some tips to help you out of an unpleasant situation.
First of all, don't take their quietness personally, nor comment to them about how quiet they are. There is no need to draw attention to their shyness. Some people just need a little time to warm up to others. Actually, I have known people who were mistaken for being "snobby" because of their shyness. That is usually never the case. They are painfully shy and it is as uncomfortable for them as it is for you.
If you try to take the lead in the conversation, they may reciprocate and then again, they may not. Sometimes the best thing to do is to back off and give them their space. There is a fine line of how much time they may need to gather their thoughts if they are going to respond. A bit of silence is okay up to a point. If you feel it is making the other person feel even more awkward, it would be okay to step in and give your own response just to save them from embarrassment.
The other type of person that can be even more difficult to talk to is the person who never lets you get a word in edgewise. This person can actually ask you a question and before you can utter a syllable, they are spewing out their take on their own question or thought, and then some. This type of person usually has what psychologists describe as a problem with loneliness or insecurity or perhaps just plain arrogance. They need social interaction to survive.
There are some strategies to use depending on where you are and when the yakaholic goes into a talking frenzy. At work, if it is in passing, you can keep walking, explaining that you are late for a meeting that you must attend. Let them know that they may need to send you an e mail and you will get to it when possible.
If this type of chatterbox is a friend that you still desire to do activities with, then choose activities where no talking is allowed, such as a workshop, an exercise class or a movie. If at home, multi-task while they yak, so that you feel as if you are not wasting time - this is a win-win situation. You are not getting frustrated by not getting things around the house accomplished and they are getting their needs met by yakking it up to you and sharing their thoughts.
There is such a fine line in toning down the chatterbox to keep your sanity. Try giving one word or a phrase as an answer. Or just smile and nod, then change the topic quickly to throw then off balance some. Try not to be alone with the talker. Go in pairs or have a standing cue to help each other out of an unwanted lengthy conversation. There is really not a right time to just use the words, "Shut up!" It may be sounding off loudly inside your brain, but that is where it needs to stay. Be strong! There is nothing wrong or inappropriate to say that you are sorry but you are not in the mood for talk right now.
There is one positive out of being around a chatterbox. An old Russian proverb stated, "A chatterbox is a treasure for a spy." You can learn a lot from one and even get ideas for writing articles, blogs, and books. Just stop and listen now and then. You could find yourself quite surprised.
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