One of the friends asked the other if she considered herself to be in love. Her response was that she guessed so, however after ten years of marriage and three kids, there really wasn't that much to jump up and down about. She went on to say that it seems like to her that if you are not falling in love or breaking up that you just take each other for granted and love becomes sort of a dial tone...hummmmm.
I found that so sad. I also know that this is how many married folks feel and it does not have to be that way. Marriage should be fun and exciting. It is all in the attitudes of the marriage partners. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It does take special care and attention. So many times, it is the little things that matter and add up to the big things.
Trust me. I am not here to tell you how to run your married life, however, many times over and over again, friends and acquaintances and sometimes even strangers make comments on our marriage and how they wish theirs had that spark. This is not by what I say or he says. It is what they witness. Words can be said, it takes action. Some of the fun things that we do for one another are things such as hiding little love notes in special places. I have even drawn hearts on the bathroom mirror with xxxx in my red lipstick to surprise him when he gets up to shave and shower. I love seeing his face when he walks in and flips the light on.
We always go to bed at the same time. And no, get it out of your head right now, it is not always for sex. There is a certain intimacy of just cuddling and having pillow talk. One of our favorite times of the day is when dinner is cooking and we sit together in our Reading Room or the screened in patio if weather permits, with music playing. We may spend time reading, take a little time to talk about our day at work...the main thing is that we are together sharing our day. This is also the time that we use to make some major decisions about purchases or vacations; just a great environment for chatting. Music is playing softly, we are sharing a glass of wine and talking about the important and the not so important things going on in our lives.
While we are on the subject of music, my husband has a major sound system in every room that we spend time in. Music is an important part of our lives. (NOT the TV.) We watch some sports, major Award programs and Downton Abby, and always together. Otherwise, it will be a movie on the weekend, usually in our very own media room. It is so nice to have a private screening versus going to the movie theater.
Another every day event that we take care of together is going to the grocery store. When we go, we just look around and there are hardly any other couples in the grocery together. Since we both cook, we both have staple ingredients that we want in our home pantry, refrigerator and freezer, so we both enjoy shopping together. We both enjoy finding new things to try. Plus, going to the grocery with my British husband is never boring. He has no problem calling out to me about picking up certain vegetables, holding them up and what he asks could be interpreted any way a stranger may choose. (Not going into detail, just use your imagination.)
Speaking of strangers, when we get in the car or out of the car, he always gets the door for me. I have witnessed women elbowing their own significant others to watch how a real gentleman does it. It is just something that Steve has always done for me. It does make me feel special and very loved and I never take that for granted.
Brag on each other to other people. It can be something that one of you did that would surprise others, as simple as that fact that one of you vacuumed out the cars or cleaned out the garage, or planned a huge company chili cook off, as well as making a chili to enter the contest. It truly makes the other person feel appreciated in a very special way.
Find fun and exciting ways to make your loved one know that they are still the one and that you are still having fun with one another.
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