Good Stress?

The other day while researching and reading articles about life in general, I came across an interesting take on stress.  It actually put stress in the category of a way for it to help you remain calm and kick it up a notch to help you do better.  

Now I am definitely no expert on the subject of stress.  I have my share just as everyone else does.  I know what does help me when I am feeling stressful as well as what does not.  So let me start with what does (and it actually was listed in some of the research that I was reading over).  That is breathing!  Breathing helps me put myself back in control.  Have you ever tried that?  Deep breaths in, hold it and then deep breath slowly letting it go.  Sort of like you do in a yoga class, if you have ever taken yoga.  What I did not know is why it works well and the reason is because it lets your nervous system know that it can "chill out."  There apparently is a lot of research in this area if you are interested in delving deeper.  

In a previous blog, I did talk of mindful meditation, which seems to be a key phrase tossed around these days.  For me, it goes right along with the breathing exercises.  It helps you to train your brain on the present....breathing, instead of trying to force yourself to calm down.  Just simply sitting down silently with your own thoughts.  Everyone has different feelings about this process.  Some find it intimidating to sit quietly with their own thoughts so it takes a bit of creativity to help them find a way to channel their stress through breathing and mindfulness.  One way that a person gave as an example that worked for her was before she walked into a potentially stressful meeting, she gave herself six seconds of mindful breathing before walking in to the meeting.  Whatever works for you!

Another tried and true method is to talk to yourself.  It has been proven to actually work in studies. Stand before a mirror and talk to yourself as if you were someone else.  Use your name, not I, and tell the person in the mirror all of the good characteristics he/she possesses.  Stress positive and strong traits and be firm.  This is especially helpful before an interview or presentation.  If you are thinking more about the positive effects of stress, it can improve your responses to challenging situations and help you learn and grow from the experiences.  

The one study that I had trouble "buying in to" was to drink more coffee.  This study was only performed on mice and not on humans as of yet.  Well, I know my opinion of mice.  And it is not positive.  It seems that the mice who were given only water acted more helpless in performing memory tests, while those given caffeinated water did not exhibit any of those behaviors.  This just seems a little bizarre to me, knowing that if I get too much caffeine, the jitters can set in and I don't perform well at all.  Not sure about you, but I am thinking that I would need to see more data with this claim.  

We all are in this world together and we know there is a lot of stress in everyone's lives.  We just need to find ways to help each other channel it in more positive ways.  If you read or watch the news, I believe that we all would agree that letting stress rule us and take over in negative ways is simply not the answer.

Take a Seat, Please

Have you ever been at an event such as a ball game, a concert, a play or some other event that gives you tickets with assigned rows/seats?  Let's say a family or friend group of 6 or so people come in to the arena or stadium or theater each holding their ticket.  They are led to the right row and then the fun begins.
They each have a seat number on their ticket.  Now mind you, they are all together but glory be......they all seem to be dead set to only sit in the seat that is on their ticket stub, as if the seat police will come and haul them away if they dare be a rebel and sit in another seat.  As an observer, I can sit back and become amused at this human behavior as long as the show or game has not already started yet.  However, when the event has started, I just want to yell out, "Please take a seat!"  Honestly, it does not matter if your group of 6 is holding 6 tickets from 20 - 26, then just sit in one of those seats.  It is not rocket science.
On Sunday afternoon at a Symphony concert, my husband and I become very amused watching the comedy taking place concerning seats.  I suppose that was just a little bonus thrown in before the real show started.
Actually, I have even witnessed this happen with two people.  Two friends (I am guessing, because they arrived together and walked in together laughing and chatting).  They arrive at the seats on the tickets in their hands and then discuss having to switch over so that they are in the seat listed on their specific ticket.  Really?

Now let's visit once the event has ended.  In a row of seats, you must file out in single file order for the most part due to the space.  But wait!  Some sweet little lady stops to talk to another sweet little lady friend that she has not seen for a while that was sitting three or so spots down from her and now no one is going anywhere as she starts asking about this lady's grandchildren and husband or the recipe that she tried that night for dinner.  This is when I am ready to start singing, "Ease on down the road!"  Or if they came to a dead stop in front of the exit door to put on their jacket.  Hundreds of people are behind them.  Could they use a little common sense to move it on over?

Voltaire most definitely had it right way back in 1764 when he said, "Common sense is not so common."  So the best way in my book to deal with most of life's absurdities is to be attracted to it and enthusiastically engage with positive possibilities in order to let all that could agitate you go out the window.  Some of that came from my horoscope words for the day.  Just people watch without judging...........it is free comedy relief.

Accentuate the Positive and Eliminate the Negative

There are times that even the very top of the ladder optimists must remind themselves to continue to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.  The reason that I am writing this (actually, the reason that I write most of my blogs is a part of myself that I need to let go).  Writing does this for me.  When I was in school and had to at least pretend to be listening, writing was not really an option, however doodling was.......... and I was a great doodler. Still am and it is a great way to stay focused on what is being said.

Back to my train of thought; where I am going with this blog is to help me and hopefully some one else to rethink allowing negativity to seep into your mind.  What good will come of it?  If you need a moment to vent then do so.  Time yourself if necessary.  Sometimes for me it is a necessity.  Then think to yourself and ask, "What good comes out of whining and complaining?"  Absolutely NOTHING!

You can say the squeaky wheel gets the oil, yet squeaking along in a more positive manner with suggested outcomes and solutions will go a lot further than behaving as a spoiled two year old.  

Sharing a method that I use may reveal what kind of nerdy person that I am - hey - all I can say is it works for me.  Everyone needs to find their own way and here is mine.  First, I must digest the information given to me just so it can rumble and tumble in my brain like clothes drying in a tumble dryer.  

Next is having a very special someone that you can talk out your thoughts.  Sometimes, I even have a positive list and a negative list and try to find many more positives than negatives about whatever is going on in my life.  Many times, this requires you to dig deeper to help you cope with a challenging situation....all I can say is that it is always worth it.  Get real with yourself.  Think about what really matters is the outcome of the positive strategies that you have put in to place.  

This may sound hokey.  Trust me.  It works.   

Exercise

There are truly people who state that they just could not live if they had to skip a day of exercising. Really?  I can tell you that I believe that there are more in the majority of the human race who could live just fine if they did skip a day.  Intellectually, I realize how beneficial exercising is to our health. Now that I am of a certain age, I also understand that weight is not going to drop off without doing some form of exercise, whether it be yoga, zumba, walking, water jogging or using the recumbent bike.  And I must also add that once I get on a routine, it does feel good.  In the same breath, I can also say that yes, I would be able to live if I were forced to skip a day here and there.

So this is where I am in the crossroads of diet and exercise.  I do love to cook and I do love food.  I don't love to get all sweaty and exercise.  So there has to be a balance if I want to eat good foods and not be the size of the side of a barn.  My goal is to be walking again on the treadmill for 30 minutes five days a week and then use the zaaz machine.  When the pool water is warm enough to get in and on the days that I can get in the pool, the goal is to water jog for 45 minutes. At some point during the day get on the zaaz, which is easier because the time limit to be on this machine is 12 minutes at a time.

Now that I am working from home, it is a matter of being set in a routine.  A routine for writing has been set and therefore, so can exercise.  At one point, I was spending a fortune for a personal trainer. He somehow motivated me more because he was there pushing me onward and forward.  He owned the gym and had ways of finding me to work harder for myself.  After a couple of months, it seemed that he was starting to "farm" me out to his associates.  Now, don't get me wrong.  They were trainers also.  They were not who I signed up with and they were not who I wanted to work with and they most definitely did NOT have the power to motivate me the way the owner did.  When I questioned him about paying the same price whether it be for his expertise or one of the associates, he told me the opposite of what other private trainers told me.  It was time to move on in my mind.  

This is why I know that I must get hold of my own motivation.  Do it for ME.  I do not need to pay someone money at this stage of my life to motivate me.  We have plenty of equipment in this house and two intelligent people.  A mantra that I have put up to see each and every day that helps motivate me is:  EXERCISE BECAUSE YOU LOVE YOUR BODY, NOT BECAUSE YOU HATE IT!

    

M5 Road Trip

My first visit to the UK was to the city where my then fiance grew up, which was Coventry, England. He was born and grew up there with his brother, Dave and his Mum and Dad.  We were invited to his niece's wedding and needed to hire a car and drive there for all of the wedding activities.  Steve's Dad had not been doing well health wise and was not exactly thrilled about being put in a car and having to drive for a couple of hours to events where he would have to be pushed around in a wheel chair. This was, after all, his niece's wedding so probably that alone is what helped to motivate him to at least try.  That, and the fact that he could stay with his son in their home while we were there. Steve's brother found us a lovely, quaint little Inn nearby.

Steve did the driving and the car was a larger car in UK standards with four doors so his Dad sat in the back with his wife.  Now please bear in mind that this was the first time that I had met anyone in Steve's family.  I am sure they were questioning who this American woman was that he was bringing over to go to a very special wedding.  They were full of questions, good questions, showing that they were interested in me and finding out about my life in the States. They made very sweet comments about how they thought that I looked like a movie star and how they loved my Southern accent.

Then the big day for the trip came.  There was a lot of conversation and as we talked I would read out loud the signs as we passed billboards and road signs while driving.  These signs that would tell you how far away cities, towns and businesses were on down the road.  I would say, "Oh look, we are not too far away from the Jaguar factory.  Steve's Dad asked me to repeat what I had just said.  He chuckled and asked me if I meant the Jag  -  you   -   are factory?  I thought we were speaking different languages so I said no, I don't think so because I do not know what that is.  I am talking about the car.  At that point he was laughing out loud.  Not at me, in particular............ at my American pronunciation.After all, this was the place they manufactured these cars.  So we talked about that for a while until the next time we passed a sign and I said it looks like we are coming into Leicester.  My pronunciation of this city is Li  -  ches  -  ter. Why?  Because I grew up hearing it that way in a subdivision called Trafalgar Square and it was even spelled Leichester.  Well, now he had tears rolling down his face because he was laughing so hard.  As Steve and his Mum shared later, they had never heard him laugh like this for ages.  So, I just did my own thing and pronounced cites and towns that popped up on signs whenever he asked me to. Worcestershire was a knee slapper because I put in the 4 syllables.  Whereas, the British pronounce it as Wu  - ster  -  sure.  Almost ever shire is a sure.  Staffordshire is not Staffordshire but Stafford - sure.  As is Warwickshire  -  Warwick  -  sure.

And then there are the names like Birmingham.  Now I do not live that far away from Birmingham, Alabama.  And if I said I am going down to Birming  -  uhm  - no one would know what I was saying. Then there are the towns  that have bury on the last syllable such as Banbury.  Now that seems simple enough.  I know the nursery rhyme of going to Banbury.  Who knew that for 40 years I had been saying it all wrong.  Anything with bury at the end is pronounced quickly with a berry and not slowly with a southern Banbury accent.

This wonderful man, my fiance's Dad, never even knew that he was in the car for several hours because he was laughing the whole way.  And of course, once we arrived where we were to be, he had the fun of telling of the drive. Not once was I offended or made to feel that I was being made fun of.  It was simply the fact that we supposedly speak the same language, we just have many totally different pronunciations.

Apparently that trip over the pond caused a lot of pronunciation changes for the Pilgrims over the years, as well as other changes.  The one thing that my dear sweet husband keeps letting me know, is that I helped his Dad in so many ways, while really not even knowing it. So there....... I am so very proud that my Southern accent helped someone out and gave him such fun.

Road trips, as I have said in blogs before, can be full of so many new adventures and good times.  

Claim to Fame

Today I really had not planned on writing about music again.  Even though music plays such an important part in my life and our lives, as a couple.  Our home has an excellent, quality sound system in every room, thanks to the Love of my life.  

So as I was pondering about what to blog today and my little imaginary friends in my head did not want to come out and talk, I posted the sign above on my FB page.

I shared with my Love when we met for lunch and this is when he suggested to KISS.  (keep it simple sweetheart)  Go ahead and do a different perspective of one of the profound ways that music enters our lives.  After all, how many teenagers go to a local TV station, get to meet George Klein to do a weekly high school commentary of fashion and end up playing keyboard with Booker T and the MGs? 

 My high school nominated me to be the Teen Representative and so I was excited and delighted to go and represent our school.  

After I had my spot of time introducing the school models and what they were wearing, I was asked by a member of the band who was playing for this show if I knew how to play the keyboard..  I said that I played guitar and all I know about the keyboard is which end has the high notes and which end has the low notes.  He asked if I could pretend to be playing along with the beat of a song.  That I could do as long as the camerman did not focus on which specific notes that I was playing (or note playing, as the case may be).  This was not live music.  They asked if I knew Green Onions and if I thought if I could move and groove to that tune because their keyboard player had not made it to the studio yet. (who happened to be Booker T) They did announce that they had a stand in for the keyboard and did not make a big deal out of it.  My heart was racing.  Really, at the time, until my mother asked me what was I doing playing the keyboard for a band that she did not know.  I just smiled and thought to myself that this was my 5 minutes of my claim to fame.  WOW! It was only years later that I realized that I stood in for Booker T.  What an honor!

It just goes to show, you never know where your life journey is going to take you.

Music Makes My Heart Sing

Music truly does make my heart sing in so many ways.  I believe that we all have certain songs that can bring back specific memories.... some of them good and maybe some not so good.  Your heart still sings though, whether it is a happy song or a sad song.  

I have a friend from Cornwall in the UK who has challenged me (because that is the way the game is played) to name 7 songs from the 70's that had a special meaning to me.  I must put them on my FB page, one each day, preferably in YOUTUBE form so that all can enjoy a moment of listening.  

WOW!  I was thinking this will be so easy.  NOT!  I believe that I have my list narrowed down to 65 or so.  Roy is in the music business and actually knew some of the musicians who were and still are my idols.  And, there are some songs that he has put up on his page that I have never heard of before.  Some bands made it big in the UK and never came across the pond and vice versa.  He asked me to join in because as he said, it would be interesting to get an American perspective.  After all, my husband and I go through this all the time. He introduces me to bands that I have never heard of.  Some, I know why I never heard of them and others, it was a shame that they did not make it over to the States.  You see, my husband, before I knew him, was Smiley, the DJ - so he does know his music, including the labels, the years of the release, the artists and the names of the songs.  Yet, and this is the unbelievable part, I still bet him on certain songs that I just know I am right and he is wrong.  The score over the time that we met up until now has remained the same.  His score  -  does it really matter?  My score is ZERO!  

So now I am thinking of what songs would show music in America during the 70's.  How could I not possibly send him "The Streak" from the 70's?  The radio stations played it here all the time, day and night.  And it is rather funny!  And some of what I am choosing to put up I am not quite sure how big they made it over in Londontown...........We shall see!.  

I do know that Maggie May was big here when I was in college and Rod Stewart is British. Wondering about Three Dog Night?  Frankie Vallie.............So I will continue to research until it is my turn to add on my FB page.  Should be starting up around this coming weekend.  If you are interested in looking my FB name is Donna Jo Dillard Miles.  If you reach out for me to add you as a friend in order to hear them, please do.  Happy Listening! So, let me challenge you, what are your seven favorite songs from the 70's?