All You Need Is Love

Sometimes things happen that embarrass you and you wish that you could replay the whole scene in a different manner.  I would like to give you an example. This little blog is actually a part of a chapter in my novel that I am working on  -  a little teaser, I hope!

One of my previous blogs that I wrote was on the dangers of dating in your 40's.  This is just another example.  (Spoiler:  it all worked out!) It was scary to start all over in the dating game.  Since I lived in our home with my mother and my recent college graduate daughter, it was always interesting and never boring.  Just imagine three females of three generations, all single...I will say no more except all you need is love, and we did have that or it never would have worked.

Because usually I was not dating anyone of a serious nature, just a dinner or dancing out or perhaps a sporting event, I usually drove myself to meet my date, as to not put them through any unusual questioning that a mother or daughter could throw out there like some curve ball to some unsuspecting soul.  I was sure that most single 40 something year olds lived alone.  

For whatever reason, mostly because I had already been out a few times with this particular gentleman, and I was really starting to get to know him.  I was feeling more comfortable with him, so I let him come over and pick me up for our date.  My daughter was the only other person home and was curled up in a big comfy chair, wrapped in an afgan, watching TV.  

When I asked my date to come in with me so that I could get my wrap and handbag there was my daughter wrapped up like a cocoon.  I said to her that I would like for her to meet Steve. SILENCE.  He tried to save the moment and told her that he was pleased to meet her.  Let me see if I can type out the sound that came out of her, "AAUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH."  Okay then.  

I looked at his face and I looked at hers and thought to myself that if I were him, I would run like the wind about now.  Luckily, for me, he did not.  We moved on.  The only mention of this happening was when we got in his car, I apologized, to which he replied that there was no need.  In spite of it all, we had a splendid time.  We never seemed to run out of things to talk about as we learned more and more about each other.

As time moved on and this very special man became the exclusive person that I dated, the relationship between my daughter and the man that I loved grew slowly.  She did get her job, saved her money and as all college graduates want to do and need to do, moved out into the real world.  

To make a  long story short, through the months ahead, they became closer and closer.  When he proposed to me she was a part of the wedding planning and pulling the rest of the family together for the event.

Then a few years later came a pivotal moment.  She was getting married.  She talked to us about who would walk her down the aisle.  We both suggested that it would be awesome to have her brother or brothers walk her down the aisle.  She had one biological brother and one brother who was Steve's son.  When he came over to visit from the UK, they became like a true brother/sister.  Steve's daughter came over to visit with us and we made trips over to the UK.  These four children somehow all connected.  In fact, they connected so well that Steve's daughter was asked to be the maid of honor.  That is pretty impressive that four children, two from each partner had so much in common and got along so famously!  It made us very proud.

The moment that gave us chill bumps was when she called me to tell me that she was coming over to see Steve to ask him something.  She arrived with a helium balloon that said, "WILL YOU?"  And it was attached to a jewelry box that a ring would come in and in this box was a rhinestone bling ring wine stopper. She got on her knee and asked him if he would walk her down the aisle to give her away.  Can I just say there were tears all around?  

From the day of, " AAUUGGGGHHHHHHHH" to this?  We are so happy to know that our four children were able to connect in the way that they have and again it all comes down to, "ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE."   

Be Someone You Love

Have you ever wondered why we are so much harder on ourselves than others?  Having a feeling that  you are not as good as you could be either physically, mentally or socially?  Or even all three of these characteristics.  Then you really are going to have some work to do with yourself.  Not impossible work, yet work that you need to take seriously, because being comfortable with yourself is very important for many reasons.

First of all we like to be around confident people.  If we are confident and work at loving ourselves unconditionally, then the more others will enjoy being around us.  When you love who you are, you accept who you are...unconditionally.  Perfections and imperfections will always be there.  There is no need to compare yourself to others.  We all have our own set of unique traits and principles.  Some which can be worked on if you think you will be happier and if it is something within a reasonable reach.  

Loving yourself means being less anxious and depressed, without a sense of sorrow and shame.  You then become less inclined to become stressed and put yourself through self torture. When you love yourself, you automatically look better because you are focusing on your strong points.  Some things can't be changed, for example your height.  The answer to this vertically challenging physical trait of how can I love myself if I hate my height is to find the right clothes that will emphasis the real you and help your confidence level to be around others.  The way you carry yourself, alone, will make you seem taller or not so tall.  You focus the attention to your mannerisms.  Having good posture gives a shorter person, as well as a taller person a level of confidence within themselves.  

When you love yourself the world around you changes how you are seen, as does your perspective of the world changes.  Self love is a prerequisite to loving others.  Your relationships are only as strong as the foundation of your self love.  

Taking My Own Advice

Planning on just taking my own advice...Today is Saturday.  HA!  I obviously missed Friday Blog. And that is OK.  Healing takes time and now I believe that by Monday I will be back in the saddle again.

xoxo

Day Off

There is a very good reason for taking this day off from my blog.  Maybe it will even be posted in a future blog.  Thanks for understanding xoxo


WELL, WELL, WELL!  It seems that I do own some bragging rights and so therefore, I SHALL!  I have spoken before of being the ever-optimistic Sagittarian.  That is always a positive in my book, even when it sort of backfires on you.

Neither woman nor man wants to hear from their doctor that they have breast cancer.  Even when the next words that come out of the surgeon's mouth is the best-case scenario! My optimistic look on life... REALLY? Best case of cancer?  Ok, I am going with my surgeon on that one.

OK, calm down and carry on! SO, I am patting myself on my back today because I do totally believe that there was a very good reason for taking this day off from my blog after undergoing surgery on Monday, I had not planned on the future blog coming quite so soon, however, when it got to the point of me not being able to stand being around me, I knew something had to be changed.

Let me go through what was in my head, a headache that I can only imagine to be a real migraine headache. The fear of even trying to see where the surgeon had been operating (especially since I did a double-dog-dare myself to take a look after the biopsy and pre-surgery) was taking over.  I hurt a thousand times worse, let's just say compression beyond belief and needles going in before the shot of numbing, I think?)  It was so bad that I could not even put my own bra on from the pain, not the swelling.  And I asked for help from my very supportive and loving husband to hook me up, yes, I know TMI.  Once he took care of me, he then went off for work. The doctor had told us that even after the surgery and I get comfortable, he could probably head on in to work.  I felt so much better knowing that he was there with me, if only for this day.  

There I was feeling like a real WUSS!  This was not in my nature. It was not a characteristic that I am proud of and it turned out that there was a reason.  I called the doctor.  Something was telling me that something was not right.  And, it turns I was correct.   Apparently, the medical team starts you off on the lowest possible dose.  I shared with my doctor's intern that this so NOT like me. This is how she responded: I could increase to 1 tablet every 4 hours instead of 6, OR take 2 tablets every 6 hours.  It made me want to kick myself for not calling in sooner.   Never would I take a medication as not prescribed to me.  Surely, I must be in the minority!  And I think that I got those directions right. 

This wonderful intern even made a call back to me, a few hours later to see if what she had changed did the trick and if I was resting more comfortably.  I could speak coherently; I am thinking so, anyway.  

My friends, EXTRA, EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT.  Not for the drama, but for the information alone... and in knowing that you are not alone floundering in this world, at least on the social-media side of this blog you will not be. Make sure you chose the right clinic and the right surgeon.  I know I did.

Rules for Success

Clearly in all of our minds there is no road map that we can purchase to get us to the success that we desire for ourselves.  The only knowledge that we can go by is to observe and listen to what others have done to achieve and to continue to achieve their successes.  This is by no means saying to copy them.  We each have to always be ourselves and take a characteristic phrase from a successful person and make it work for us in our own way.

Just recently in Entrepreneur, Frederick W. Smith talked about his top ten rules for success.  I believe that we can agree that he has a large success story with his corporation.  To me, it is worth looking over his rules and seeing how they can fit into our own lifestyles to help make us more successful.

Believe

Be self-effacing

Have a vision

Be willing to take a chance

Be a team player

Innovate

Think globally

Be prepared

Master your craft

Keep getting better

These are generalized rules that can fit into anyone's ladder of success.  In doing a bit of research on other successful people, I noticed that they had most of these same concepts, perhaps worded in a different way, yet it meant the same.  The other information that I was able to gather seemed to be more specific things that most successful people always do and I found them too specific and know for a fact that most people could not possibly follow the guidelines 100% of the time, in fact, 50% would be doing well.

You may be wondering what some of the specifics are.  Let me share a few of them here with you now:

Focus on one thing

Make it home for dinner each night

Avoid meetings at all cost

Say no to just about everything

Always use a notebook

Only going with five of the 14 listed because in my opinion most are not doable on a daily basis.  Some things, in fact, most people are not even in control of such as meetings.  At best, you can suggest the meetings stick to the subject and have a time limit. And there are days that require individuals to stay a little longer to complete a time-sensitive project.  The trick here is to not let that take over your life and happen too often. 

The foundation of success is failure and therefore the meaning of success has changed in a lot of ways for me.  Success, like happiness, lies within me.  It does for every one of us.   

Magical Day

"Your writing voice is the deepest possible reflection of who you are. The job of your voice is not to seduce or flatter or make well-shaped sentences.  In your voice, your readers should be able to hear the contents of your mind, your heart, your soul."  This is from an author named Meg Rosoff.

Her words could be my very own words because this is how I write.  Yes, I need to be careful with grammar and typos, but more importantly we all need to write using our voice so that the reader can hear our heart, mind and soul.  

Yesterday my husband and I were able to spend the day with our three year old granddaughter.  What we experienced was sheer joy and fascination.  We had some ideas planned out of what we wanted to do with her and where we wanted to take her. She is definitely not on a high maintenance list.  Bailey is quite happy shopping at her favorite store which happens to be Target. She can spend hours in the toy department and yet never ask for one single thing.  Just window shopping.  The hardest thing is to find a way to get her out of the store after going up and down the same aisles for an hour.  This also happened in The Disney Store. Yet never asking us to buy a single thing.  All she wants is for Goofy to fly her to DisneyWorld.  This is repeated frequently and we would so much like to help make that happen in her world.       

On this one day, after we picked her up from our daughter at her work place, we headed over to get breakfast.  She wanted a blueberry muffin so we took her to a restaurant that we knew had delicious muffins.  Steve and I ordered our breakfast also.  This precious child ate about one fourth of the large muffin and then saw our bacon.  Immediately she asked, "Please may I have some bacon?"  Of course, we were not going to say no and before we knew it she had eaten 4 slices.  I must admit it was good bacon...at least the part of one crispy bite that I had.  All our hearts needed to hear was, "Thank you so much for that delicious bacon."

After breakfast came a bit of what could have been a boring part of the day.  We had arranged for a workman to come much later in the afternoon when our granddaughter was not with us to repair exercise equipment.  He had called and said he would be much earlier and needed to come over at noon.  We knew swimming was out of the question at this time, as the air temperature was actually cooler than the water and no sunshine.  If he finished the job quickly, we might be able to get in The Children's Museum.  So meanwhile we put the movie of her choice in the DVD player, which was Happy Feet. While watching the movie, we managed to play Minnie's Bow-tique Matching Game and StarFall.  She is into multi-tasking.  Oh yes, and she downloaded the game to my IPhone as per the directions from her game.  I was still trying to find my glasses to read the fine print and by gosh, she had already downloaded it.  YIKES!  

The repairman came even a little earlier than expected so when he left, Bailey wanted to check out the work that he did to be sure that she approved.  She did.  As we were coming down the stairs we noticed the sunshine was out brightly.  Quickly I ran to the computer to check the temperature and miraculously it had already risen above what the forecasted high was to be.  You guessed it. We asked Bailey if she wanted to go swimming.  We already knew the answer was yes.  I changed her while Steve changed.  He took her out while I changed and by the time I came out they had me in shock.  She was in the deep end going up the ladder only to slide back into the pool to kick and paddle her way back over again. There was no hesitation, no fear, just pure joy with the giggles, especially when she got hold of the long range water pistols to squirt her Smiley and Lola.  (No granny and gramps for us)  I bet for that hour and a half her little legs were not still a minute.  

We asked her if she was getting hungry.  She said that she was and would love to get some pizza at Chuck E. Cheese.  It just so happens that this establishment, which the two of us have never eaten at, is just around the corner from our subdivision.  We really wanted to make it her day so we changed and off to Chuck E. Cheese it was.  

Truly it was so much fun just watching her go from toy to game with her tokens.  What was really amazing is that her favorite thing to do in the game room was to go through a very tall long climbing tube with portholes to look out and wave at us, plus a slide to zip out of the maze.  It did not need tokens to go inside so she had tokens left over for a future visit.  I thought it may be a little difficult to get her over to eat when the pizza arrived but I was so wrong.  This little one devoured this pizza.  At one point she said that she was full so Steve went over to get a to-go box, however, before he returned she had eaten two of the last three slices.  His face was priceless.  Time to play for a bit more then we told her that we needed to get home and change her into her T-ball uniform so that we could get her back to her Momma for team pictures and a make up game.  Timing was perfect.  

The feeling of her little hand reaching up to hold your hand or her sweet voice asking if she can sit on your lap............. there is nothing in the world like it.  Ask any grandparent!  Love, love, love!  

Pick Yourself Up

Can you stop to imagine what would happen if we as the human race did not follow these words when we have failed at something: "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again?"
This song was written way back in 1936 and recorded by many such as Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra and was even in a movie with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers called Swing Time, where Fred pretended to have two left feet so that Ginger would teach him how to dance.  

For every one of my failures, I know that I have grown from them. At first it may not have seemed that way.  There is a voice in most of us that is strong and it is telling you not to quit.  Quitters don't win.  Sometimes it is simply going at your goal from a different angle and sometimes it is a matter of taking your goal through different doors of opportunities.  Be creative!

Just to give you a few examples of some people who believed in themselves and did not give up let me list them with a short blurb of their failure/success stories:

Walt Disney was fired from the newspaper where he worked by the editor who told him that he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.  

Elvis Presley was told by the manager of the Grand Ole Opry that he was fired after his first and only performance and told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere, son!"

Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team by the coach who told him that he lacked skill.

Steven Spielberg got rejected three times from the University of Southern California Film and Theater College due to poor high school grades.  So, he finally applied elsewhere, only to drop out and start an extremely successful  directing career all on his own.

Oprah Winfrey was told that she was unfit for TV. (Is she still the richest woman in America?)

Stephen King was rejected 30 times for Carrie and JK Rowling was rejected 12 times for Harry Potter.  (There is HOPE!)

Thomas Edison was told by his teacher that he was just too stupid to learn anything.  ("Sticks and stones may break my bones," but your words somehow made me a stronger person!) 

Vincent Van Gogh sold only one picture to a friend in his lifetime.  And yet he still painted!  

This is just a handful of famous people and then there are millions of not so well knowns who continued on and picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and started all over again.  

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal:  it is the courage to continue that counts."  Winston Churchill

This is what we need to be teaching to our children.  (and hang on to this knowledge for ourselves, as well)