Monday, May 2, 2016

Delightful Tangle of Personality Flaws

When I saw this poster with these words on it, I thought immediately of a play that we had seen just a few years ago called, "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change."  It was a romantic comedy and had some very funny parts in the play.  If anyone took the time to think about it just a little deeper, it really is how many of us overlook certain personality flaws because of love, love love.  Then marriage comes along and each partner tries to change the other partner into what they really wanted  them to be in the first place.

This is so not right!  Love is unconditional.  That is why this poster hit me in such a funny way.  We all have our own personality flaws.  Now let's get this straight........... I am not talking about major illegal flaws......... just your everyday, simple flaws that if you are living with someone, you need to just go ahead and accept them.  

Let's mention a few of them:
  • always being late or always being early
  • 99% of the time burning the toast
  • leaving the toilet seat up
  • sharing food off your plate
  • drinking out of the milk container
  • planning everything in advance vs. let it happen
  • cleanliness vs. sloppiness
  • snoring
  • taking over the bathroom vanity space

The list could go on and on and really these are harmless behaviors, even if they may be irritating at times.  What tends to happen is that the little things start to become big things and ADD up to major difficulties.  You no longer have the idealized partner that you think you started out with  -  in fact, they have become less than ideal.

This does not have to be the case if you really love someone. Something has to change and I can guarantee you this  -  99.9% of the time it will not be the one with the irritating behavior.  It all depends on how you interpret the behavior as a problem.  (And this can be your own flaws as a single person ....just accept and love yourself for being YOU)

Let's go back to the poster above:  We ALL have delightful tangles of personality flaws.  How much of it can you overlook?   Just go with the flow of life and ask yourself if it really matters.  If it did not drive you crazy and take you over the edge when you were dating then why is it now so important? The way that I look at it is that there are basically three solutions to living with each other's personality flaws.The fist way is to drop it and overlook it. The second way is if there is good communication each partner pick A flaw that drives them crazy and promise that each will strive to improve.No need to try for miracles. Just ONE. The last way is the saddest way. Go your own ways. If you can honestly say that your life would be better off not having dirty dishes in the sink then to remain with your partner then it most definitely is time to move on.  

The optimist in me can turn negative to positive by simply knowing that we ALL have delightful tangles of personality flaws.  So, let's hang in there together and know that we can somehow work it out.  I will save my own "Drama Queen" flaw for another time and something else much more important.  

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