SWEET FROM THE VINE

 SWEET FROM THE VINE

From his fields to his corner market at 1126 C Street in Cordova, Micah McDaniel has it going on. 

The Memphis area is blessed, in that we have many parts of our city and suburbs where we can stop off and pick up fresh fruits and veggies, along with other delicious homemade foods. 

One very special Farmer's Market happens to be close to my home. My husband and I discovered it a few years ago. Ever since that summer we have gone together to pick up the most delicious and fresh produce ever. And, yes, we have gone to other markets. This one is special. WHY? Because of the owner, Micah McDonald, and the rest of his wonderful family and friends that all work together to treat customers with such care and respect that they want to return to this local produce stand. Year after year we returned and each year, he remembered us.

This year was different for not just me, but for all. You see, I had to let Micah know that Steve was not with me because he had passed away last year in the late Fall. It was a bit shocking to him because the two of them talked a lot when we stopped in weekly. Add to the fact that not only was Steve the kind of person that he was, but he had such a strong British accent. It did bring tears to my eyes that Steve was no longer able to go over to the market with me and pick out things for our weekly meals.

Making it a part of the loving memories that Steve left for me is not always easy to do without becoming teary-eyed. Still a work in progress. He left so many happy and loving memories for me to cherish. 

Now that my daughter, Jenni, and Craig, along with Bailey and Skylar, my granddaughters, have moved in with me, we make one big happy family now. Sometimes we go together. In fact, my granddaughters were with their other grandparents from Mississippi yesterday and they took them to Sweet From the Vine for a BIG watermelon. The eldest granddaughter wanted one of the special Sweet From the Vine t-shirts and so she picked one out for herself.

To say they are now huge fans of this special Farmer's Market is an understatement. Another plus, for those of us who find it a little hard to tote the goodies purchased, along with the big watermelon, is that Micah or someone else who is there with him carries it out to the car for their customers. Such service! Impressive!

What more can I say, except that I think if you find yourself in the general area, you should stop in and discover this gem for yourself. Micah is on Facebook if you search Sweet From the Vine and he has pictures of the new produce or baked goods. We picked up the 'fairy eggplants' when they were in season. I even have some friends who live much closer to other farmer markets, but they find themselves coming to this one due to the hospitality and freshness of the produce. 

I will leave you with pictures of just some of the beautiful produce that you can find at Sweet From the Vine.

As you can see, there is no shortage of delicious fresh produce. It is such a wonderful and colorful display of all that is good for you. If you noticed, I did enlarge the picture of the Amish hand-held pies. It doesn't hurt to have a little splurge now and then if you are eating this healthy with all of these fruits and vegetables. I did not even show the jars of freshly canned pickles, chow-chow, okra and preserves. It is something to stop in and take a walk around. 

Please be sure to tell Micah that you saw this blog when you do. Or send him a comment on his Facebook page. He has many of these pictures and more, along with the days and times that he is open. (Thursday - Saturday 9 - 6 - Saturday it is until he is sold out so get there early!)

A very dear friend made this Farmers Market bag for me and personalized it with a picture of our two doodles in the truck, Maggie Mae and Davis. It always goes with me weekly to the Market  -  hope to see you there!

SELF-DISCOVERY

 SELF-DISCOVERY

Self-improvement books are everywhere in the book stores. Maybe you have even purchased a few of them. I know that I certainly have. A lot of my time in the past was spent thinking about what I should do or maybe even what would be the right thing to do. In order to answer that question honestly, I now know that I must understand the true me. I must truly know myself. We all want to get better but what comes into play is the need for self-discovery. We really must figure out how our life's journey can be shared with others using our own unique gifts.

It most definitely is not an easy process and it takes time. Small steps, which many times can lead us in the wrong direction that only we can discover ourselves.

When my own life was turned upside down with the death of the only true love of my life, I had such unbearable grief and no idea where I would be headed. He was my knight in shining armor and I could not imagine him not by my side ready to rescue me or simply holding his hand. My wonderful family were close by and oh yes, Steve's and mine two golden doodles. For a time, I simply went through the motions of day-to-day. I missed our life together. We basically did everything side by side and this is why all of a sudden I felt as if my life had been turned totally upside down. 

As I mentioned before, it is not an easy process to go on a self-discovery adventure. To begin this new chapter of my life took time and patience and will continue to be a work in progress. Not only was it a new way of day-to-day living, it was a time to work on what inspires me and fuels me. Yes, it took some deep thinking about which way to turn and what to do first. It is different for everyone and I can only share how I worked my way through self-discovering myself. 

First of all, I had to stop and think about what it was that I wanted from life. I took the step of deciding where to live. My precious daughter, Jennifer, and her family stayed with me in this very large home to help me in the beginning. We actually had three dogs now and both granddaughters had a bedroom upstairs plus another Master bedroom. Add on a large media/playroom with an enormous walk-in closet that would make for a perfect office for Jennifer. She could even hold Zoom meetings when necessary in this office. 

We all talked about it and everything seemed to work out just fine talking about it. We gave it time and then once we were sure that we all would be compatible to actually live together under the same roof, the process started in cleaning out what was not needed so that they could begin bringing their things in to make upstairs theirs. We had many trips, more than I could count, to charities for donations of clothes, furniture, books, DVDs, CDs...Really a total clean-out that needed to be done quite a while ago. Steve and I even discussed downsizing because we did not need this large of a home. Now with 4 more added residents...I am so glad that we never got around to selling this home and moving to a smaller one. 

Once the day-to-day priorities were in place, I felt like I could move on to search for my inner self and what I wanted to do. What would bring me enjoyment? Oh yes, living with all four of my new live-in family brought me joy...I could not be happier with that arrangement. What I needed to do was to adjust my mindset that things will not ever be the way they were with just Steve and me. There are no quiet mornings for the most part. What there is now in this home is a lot of love for one another. I know for a fact that if I were all alone without all four of them, I would be having many more meltdowns over losing Steve. But when I have a darling 6-year-old telling and showing me how she talks to "Smiley," as they all call Steve, it brings such joy within me. Yes, and at times tears of joy. Because he was so loved by his granddaughters and his daughter who he embraced as his very own, to the extent of walking her down the aisle when she married Craig. Craig appreciated his British sense of humor and getting into Dr. Who discussions with him. In a way, we all were in mourning over losing this wonderful, awesome man. We stuck together and made it work. 

That was a big part of my own self-awareness. I was understanding my feelings and desires. It helped me know where I was headed with my creativity and definitely helped with my self-esteem. I even started my own health journey to eating better and following my physical therapy exercises. I realized what worked for me to acknowledge and correct this issue. Getting out of my comfort zone and challenging myself would set me on one of the right paths.

Getting out of some of my old habits and trying new ways toward my own self-discovery took linking up with others to share my experience. Of course, my family would help as I shared my plans. The biggest help was my Coach toward a healthier me on this journey and joining other friends who are taking this path for their lives, too. Finding new habits, healthier ones is what seems to work for me, both mentally and physically.

Definitely, I am becoming more comfortable with myself. Journaling most definitely has always been a part of my life. Now, it is even more important for me. It helps me to organize my thoughts and to see how gratitude helps me see what is impacting my life and how I respond. It adds insight to the small things all around me and has become a part of making me aware of not only my feelings but the feelings of those around me also. So many times it is the little things that matter the most.

There is a way to practice trusting yourself. Self-discovery can be a very challenging experience. One that requires self-love and self-compassion. Trust yourself. As I think of my behaviors and values, it is important that I do not have negative judgments. Question more about why those thoughts are there, where they come from, and if there is something that I may need to rethink and try a different way. It is a matter of learning from failure and being intentional in setting my habits. This works for me because I am all about setting up plans. 

It is so important to be compassionate with yourself. I love John O'Donohue's quote above. This compassion allows you to trust in your own soul, which lets you guide your life. This is what self-discovery is all about. He wrote A Blessing which was for grief and helped me move forward and be more self-compassionate in my life after the loss of Steve. 

Never be afraid to explore your passions and go on your very own self-discovery. Remember this:

STRESS

 STRESS

All of us hear the word stress frequently. Usually it is in a negative way; such as we have too much stress in our lives. It can weigh a person down.  However, there is another way to look at stress. There is good stress and bad stress PLUS there is a very important thought for all of us to remember. Stress is normal and is not a bad sign or a good sign, just simply a fact of life. It is inevitable. It is a part of our day to day existence. What is very important is to remember the key phrase that it is not so much the stress BUT our reactions to stress. 

                 

If even saying the word out loud makes you feel tired and anxious then it has been greatly magnified in your brain and is controlled by your mindset. Actually, there is such a thing as good stress and bad stress or healthy stress and unhealthy stress. Healthy stress is ultimately positive. It can help us grow by pushing us outside of our comfort zone while the unhealthy stress can take a toll on our physical and mental health. It can give us a feeling of helplessness, as if there is no escape from the situation in sight. 

Basically, it can be turned around by starting with our attitudes toward it. If we make a conscious effort to be proactive and take back control then we can change bad stress to healthy stress. Yes, I can hear you now saying to yourself that it is something that I can't control. That may be true but I know for a fact that I have the power to choose what actions to take over whatever uncontrollable situation comes my way. We all have that power!

I know that it is easy to have tunnel vision when it comes to stress so the important thing is to start taking control of our choices. 

Recognize that there is good stress. This is called "EUSTRESS." It is the kind of stress that we feel when we get excited and our pulse quickens, hormones surge, yet there is no real threat of danger or fear. This can be when we ride a roller coaster, compete in a game or sport or perhaps go to off to your first job.

The other kind of stress can come from many other sources, some of which may be personal while others not so personal, yet out of our control. Just remember that we do have choices of how we will handle it and this in turn helps to relieve some of the built up stress. Just the basic fact that we have a plan helps.

Some of the tips that I have read about and use religiously are:

• identifying my triggers that cause stress
• maintaining a positive attitude
• trying to avoid multi-tasking - one job at a time
• learning to say no, especially to make more time for myself (this is NOT selfish- it is keeping me mentally and physically healthier)
• staying socially connected
• exercising and eating healthy

Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere!

Art work or anything creative can be very relaxing. There are many ways to help relieve stress as we focus on our positive attitudes.

 

WHAT TO DO IF YOU CAN'T FOCUS

 WHAT TO DO IF YOU CAN'T FOCUS

Focusing is a key to succeeding in life. The majority of people consider focusing a way to measure how intensely you can concentrate on something. That is but just one way to think of focusing. It is not the whole picture. 

Some people require total and complete silence and a clutter-free workspace. Some need music or a loud TV, while still others need personal momentos or art that has significance on their desks to get in the right mindset. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to creating a productive work environment. Each of us must figure out what works best for us and make that happen, even if we must spend a little money to make that happen. It will be worth the effort.

Without the skill of focusing, distractions can quickly control productivity. We know that we all live in a busy loop. We juggle our lives between all kinds of events that may include, family, work, health and relationships. We all want to keep everyone happy by doing a lot but in reality we rarely get it all done. To me, it is a little like treading water. The real issue is not the time we have but our focus and energy and where we place it.

All of us eat, sleep, wake and repeat almost 90% of the same tasks every day. That alone does not lead us to productivity. Distraction kicks in and we tend to start procrastinating. Then the focus is gone, as well as our energy. No amount of time would be enough. I know for myself that if I do not have the right focus and energy that I will never learn to spend time effectively.

When my focus is split between multiple things, I am not concentrating on anything. At one point, I thought that I was concentrating on numerous things at the same time. WRONG! The human brain is not designed for that. Actually FOCUS  =  INTELLIGENCE! Intelligence is the ability to interpret and apply information in order to manipulate our surroundings. Intellectual people, on average, have a better ability to concentrate.

Focusing boils down to external and internal distractions not allowing us to focus. Multitasking is never helpful. 

There are foods that can help us focus better such as adding more water, salmon, coffee, blueberries, green tea, walnuts, broccoli, avocados and my favorite - dark chocolate to our diets.

Also, there are particular playlists that can help those who enjoy background music. Loud music with lyrics usually do not help in concentration and focusing. More instrumental tunes such as the soundtrack to Zelda or Pirates of the Caribbean, nature sounds can help with distractions and being able to focus better. Also, white noise, classical or acoustic guitar music seem to work best for most people. Try them out just to see what fits your own style.

Some of these strategies have helped me improve my focus and I hope will help you become more engaged also. It is an ongoing piece of work for me. I can forget easily and begin to multitask before I suddenly realize that I am going nowhere fast. Sometimes I must take a deep breath, slow down, and reflect why small steps seem to work better on the strategies toward focusing.

CREATING YOURSELF

 CREATING YOURSELF

Part of being human is having times that you are not feeling yourself. Perhaps thinking that there must be something in the air. Or maybe even that you got up on the wrong side of the bed. Just maybe you are thinking that you are in some kind of funk. 

There is a way to switch that feeling around. It involves using some creativity. The kind that I am talking about has nothing to do with making art. It is more about creating your own uniqueness. Our day to day life is all about creating our own uniqueness. 

Everyday may not be great. It may not even be good. Daily worries (I know mine are there floating around) can be consuming, however, I have found a way to work on connecting with my everyday worries by realizing that self-criticism is not helping and in fact, is lessoning my productivity in my day. I am learning that I must have compassion for myself or else I will not be so inspired to have that compassion for others. It is a matter of actually acknowledging my own gifts so that I can contribute to others.

Just knowing that I am not like everyone else allows me to just be me. No pretending that I am like someone that I may admire. Just being ME is enough. We all are unique and have a special place in our universe. As Dr. Suess says, "Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you!" We all are perfectly cast in our lives. Can you even imagine anyone but yourself in the role of YOU? 

There are some ideas that I have used to help me such as creating something and it is ok if it is small like a little poem, a special homemade meal or treat...even a cute little doodle art. If it feels creative to me then it counts. It gives my brain empowerment so it helps my mental health.

Another little idea that I use is to take a break and go out to take a little walk, even if it is a simple walk around the back and front gardens to water and snip at the flowers in my garden. It is just all about breathing the fresh air and the change of scenery. Even going out to have my morning coffee is a nice change of pace. Changing up regular routines is important to get myself out of my 'mood.' Small actions can have a huge impact on how I feel. Wearing something really colorful sets a tone in my brain for some reason. 

The important thing to remember is there has never been anyone exactly like you ever in the world.  

Certain qualities that help make us who we are may be:

• Genetics - our own DNA
• Physical Characteristics - some of which is from our DNA
• Personality - this starts the day we are born and it forms our character, temperament and behavior
• Attitudes - pessimist or optimist
• Perspectives - the way that each of us interpret things going on around us
• Habits - may be good or bad
• Intellect - high IQ or high worldly smarts
• Goals - what we all are aiming towards, our directions
• Experiences - some adventures to some can be nightmarish to others 
• Relationships - all friendships differ whether they be friends, family, lovers, spouses
• Creativity - building, baking, painting, singing...
• Passion - for pets, people, careers...
• Communication - emotions, gestures, laughter, tears, flowing words...
• Humor - a sense of it or lack of it
• Taste - whether food, clothes, friends...

Many of the above qualities bleed into one another from our DNA and how we were individually raised. However, consider siblings with the same parents can be extremely different from one another. That is what makes us all so unique!

Our uniqueness does not make us odd...it makes us who we are - our own unique person.

FEELING OLDER? OR NOT?

FEELING OLDER? OR NOT?

 

When a birthday or perhaps a reunion comes along some people seem to take it very personally. My question to them is, "Do you really feel older celebrating that next birthday?" Yes it is true, another year has passed, yet in reality did you just age a year overnight? Think about it for a minute. Age is just a number unless you let it take over your life. Adding another year is better than the alternative. So all in all it is a matter of thinking what you may have done and accomplished in your life up to that point. Asking ourselves if we have made a difference somehow, not only in our lives but in others' lives? Was it meaningful to ourselves and to others? That is really a matter of doing things that help us get to know ourselves better. Another way to think about it is asking ourselves if we are here on a purpose to share our enthusiasm about something we have accomplished.

Afterall, self-discovery is not about sitting on a mountaintop meditating for months at a time or journaling constantly or analyzing yourself to death. It is simply a matter of doing things that make us happy and feel good. This in turn causes enthusiastic possibilities that we all should be aware of. If for whatever reason, I am not feeling "it" then it is time to rethink about ways that I could shift to help me be in charge of me. 

The best way to discover yourself is through action and paying attention. We should never let our age control our lifestyle. In fact, our lifestyle should control our age. As one example for myself, I have some psoriatric arthritis. It is something that others younger than myself can easily get as well as those older than me. That is something that I have learned to live with and although I will not be running a marathon with my knees having this condition there are so many things that I am perfectly capable of doing. 

The more that I move and do my physical therapy, the better it gets so I use the mindset that this is not going to control the way that I live. I am in charge of finding what is adaptable for my condition and age. My age does not control my lifestyle. I love waking up each day to a mindset of what I can go out and accomplish for the day. There are times that it ALL does not get done and that is okay. A positive attitude is most definitely the key to it all because more likely than not it will not all get done. Prioritizing is important. We all have choices of whether or not we want to feel older or not.

Aches and pains can give you a feeling of being older than you are if you let it. We all have aches and pains.

Take care of any ache or pain, for sure. This can be done by seeing your doctor and following medical advice. Also, do your own research so that intelligent questions can be asked or even possibly a 2nd opinion may be in order. Again...the question is are you feeling older or not? You can answer your own question and then decide if you want to do something about it or not. It is a matter of feeling older? Or not?

Trip to New Orleans Delayed Writing - New Blog on Saturday, June 10