WHAT TO DO IF YOU CAN'T FOCUS

 WHAT TO DO IF YOU CAN'T FOCUS

Focusing is a key to succeeding in life. The majority of people consider focusing a way to measure how intensely you can concentrate on something. That is but just one way to think of focusing. It is not the whole picture. 

Some people require total and complete silence and a clutter-free workspace. Some need music or a loud TV, while still others need personal momentos or art that has significance on their desks to get in the right mindset. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to creating a productive work environment. Each of us must figure out what works best for us and make that happen, even if we must spend a little money to make that happen. It will be worth the effort.

Without the skill of focusing, distractions can quickly control productivity. We know that we all live in a busy loop. We juggle our lives between all kinds of events that may include, family, work, health and relationships. We all want to keep everyone happy by doing a lot but in reality we rarely get it all done. To me, it is a little like treading water. The real issue is not the time we have but our focus and energy and where we place it.

All of us eat, sleep, wake and repeat almost 90% of the same tasks every day. That alone does not lead us to productivity. Distraction kicks in and we tend to start procrastinating. Then the focus is gone, as well as our energy. No amount of time would be enough. I know for myself that if I do not have the right focus and energy that I will never learn to spend time effectively.

When my focus is split between multiple things, I am not concentrating on anything. At one point, I thought that I was concentrating on numerous things at the same time. WRONG! The human brain is not designed for that. Actually FOCUS  =  INTELLIGENCE! Intelligence is the ability to interpret and apply information in order to manipulate our surroundings. Intellectual people, on average, have a better ability to concentrate.

Focusing boils down to external and internal distractions not allowing us to focus. Multitasking is never helpful. 

There are foods that can help us focus better such as adding more water, salmon, coffee, blueberries, green tea, walnuts, broccoli, avocados and my favorite - dark chocolate to our diets.

Also, there are particular playlists that can help those who enjoy background music. Loud music with lyrics usually do not help in concentration and focusing. More instrumental tunes such as the soundtrack to Zelda or Pirates of the Caribbean, nature sounds can help with distractions and being able to focus better. Also, white noise, classical or acoustic guitar music seem to work best for most people. Try them out just to see what fits your own style.

Some of these strategies have helped me improve my focus and I hope will help you become more engaged also. It is an ongoing piece of work for me. I can forget easily and begin to multitask before I suddenly realize that I am going nowhere fast. Sometimes I must take a deep breath, slow down, and reflect why small steps seem to work better on the strategies toward focusing.

CREATING YOURSELF

 CREATING YOURSELF

Part of being human is having times that you are not feeling yourself. Perhaps thinking that there must be something in the air. Or maybe even that you got up on the wrong side of the bed. Just maybe you are thinking that you are in some kind of funk. 

There is a way to switch that feeling around. It involves using some creativity. The kind that I am talking about has nothing to do with making art. It is more about creating your own uniqueness. Our day to day life is all about creating our own uniqueness. 

Everyday may not be great. It may not even be good. Daily worries (I know mine are there floating around) can be consuming, however, I have found a way to work on connecting with my everyday worries by realizing that self-criticism is not helping and in fact, is lessoning my productivity in my day. I am learning that I must have compassion for myself or else I will not be so inspired to have that compassion for others. It is a matter of actually acknowledging my own gifts so that I can contribute to others.

Just knowing that I am not like everyone else allows me to just be me. No pretending that I am like someone that I may admire. Just being ME is enough. We all are unique and have a special place in our universe. As Dr. Suess says, "Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you!" We all are perfectly cast in our lives. Can you even imagine anyone but yourself in the role of YOU? 

There are some ideas that I have used to help me such as creating something and it is ok if it is small like a little poem, a special homemade meal or treat...even a cute little doodle art. If it feels creative to me then it counts. It gives my brain empowerment so it helps my mental health.

Another little idea that I use is to take a break and go out to take a little walk, even if it is a simple walk around the back and front gardens to water and snip at the flowers in my garden. It is just all about breathing the fresh air and the change of scenery. Even going out to have my morning coffee is a nice change of pace. Changing up regular routines is important to get myself out of my 'mood.' Small actions can have a huge impact on how I feel. Wearing something really colorful sets a tone in my brain for some reason. 

The important thing to remember is there has never been anyone exactly like you ever in the world.  

Certain qualities that help make us who we are may be:

• Genetics - our own DNA
• Physical Characteristics - some of which is from our DNA
• Personality - this starts the day we are born and it forms our character, temperament and behavior
• Attitudes - pessimist or optimist
• Perspectives - the way that each of us interpret things going on around us
• Habits - may be good or bad
• Intellect - high IQ or high worldly smarts
• Goals - what we all are aiming towards, our directions
• Experiences - some adventures to some can be nightmarish to others 
• Relationships - all friendships differ whether they be friends, family, lovers, spouses
• Creativity - building, baking, painting, singing...
• Passion - for pets, people, careers...
• Communication - emotions, gestures, laughter, tears, flowing words...
• Humor - a sense of it or lack of it
• Taste - whether food, clothes, friends...

Many of the above qualities bleed into one another from our DNA and how we were individually raised. However, consider siblings with the same parents can be extremely different from one another. That is what makes us all so unique!

Our uniqueness does not make us odd...it makes us who we are - our own unique person.

FEELING OLDER? OR NOT?

FEELING OLDER? OR NOT?

 

When a birthday or perhaps a reunion comes along some people seem to take it very personally. My question to them is, "Do you really feel older celebrating that next birthday?" Yes it is true, another year has passed, yet in reality did you just age a year overnight? Think about it for a minute. Age is just a number unless you let it take over your life. Adding another year is better than the alternative. So all in all it is a matter of thinking what you may have done and accomplished in your life up to that point. Asking ourselves if we have made a difference somehow, not only in our lives but in others' lives? Was it meaningful to ourselves and to others? That is really a matter of doing things that help us get to know ourselves better. Another way to think about it is asking ourselves if we are here on a purpose to share our enthusiasm about something we have accomplished.

Afterall, self-discovery is not about sitting on a mountaintop meditating for months at a time or journaling constantly or analyzing yourself to death. It is simply a matter of doing things that make us happy and feel good. This in turn causes enthusiastic possibilities that we all should be aware of. If for whatever reason, I am not feeling "it" then it is time to rethink about ways that I could shift to help me be in charge of me. 

The best way to discover yourself is through action and paying attention. We should never let our age control our lifestyle. In fact, our lifestyle should control our age. As one example for myself, I have some psoriatric arthritis. It is something that others younger than myself can easily get as well as those older than me. That is something that I have learned to live with and although I will not be running a marathon with my knees having this condition there are so many things that I am perfectly capable of doing. 

The more that I move and do my physical therapy, the better it gets so I use the mindset that this is not going to control the way that I live. I am in charge of finding what is adaptable for my condition and age. My age does not control my lifestyle. I love waking up each day to a mindset of what I can go out and accomplish for the day. There are times that it ALL does not get done and that is okay. A positive attitude is most definitely the key to it all because more likely than not it will not all get done. Prioritizing is important. We all have choices of whether or not we want to feel older or not.

Aches and pains can give you a feeling of being older than you are if you let it. We all have aches and pains.

Take care of any ache or pain, for sure. This can be done by seeing your doctor and following medical advice. Also, do your own research so that intelligent questions can be asked or even possibly a 2nd opinion may be in order. Again...the question is are you feeling older or not? You can answer your own question and then decide if you want to do something about it or not. It is a matter of feeling older? Or not?

Trip to New Orleans Delayed Writing - New Blog on Saturday, June 10

JUST A 'SCRIBBLE'

 JUST A SCRIBBLE

Someone that I know from on line that I have never met in person but somehow feel a connection to  writes down things and calls them her scribbles. The writings are actually very good. I know that I can relate to them through what is going on in my own life. As the scribble above is showing, most scribbles are going somewhere. Her writings are always headed in a particular direction.

As it turns out there is a connection between us. Her husband is a first cousin of Steve and they used to play together as children. All of the times that I have been over to the UK with Steve, I have never met them. In fact, it was only until about a year or so before Steve passed away that I noticed them on line. Their last name of Miles is what had me ask Steve about them. That is when he told me of their family ancestry. Quite a small world!

She wove in the words of this particular scribble to the song Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay. Helen said that she wished she could say that she was sitting on the dock of the bay watching the tide roll away. Then went on to explain that it really was TRUE. What a difference a day makes! One rises in the morning with so many plans but you can't plan and expect it to happen because our life is planned out but not always by us alone. Circumstances and events unknown occur. There is not one person living that can expect perfection in life. We can hope and we can dream but our fate is planned out.

So the most important thing is to firstly be HAPPY! I love that word she used! Firstly! Then secondly the most important thing is to share that happiness. Remember that all of us need to stop getting sad over small things and stop getting emotional over things that we can't control. It is a time for us to be happy because everyone deserves to be happy. 

Remember always that this is the first day of the rest of your life. Do the things that make you happy. Love the people you want to love. Be kind. Be good. Be honest. Be true. But most importantly BE YOU! 

Actually, sitting on the dock of the bay resting your bones is not such a bad idea...just do not do this alone too often. There is a time to have some alone time. That is not a bad thing. Sharing your experiences with others and biding your time with others is not wasting time. Why? Because everything is gonna change and nothing will always stay the same. Embrace each day with anticipation and love.

We all do have some control over how things turn out. Planning helps, just remember to always have a backup plan in case "stuff" happens. And we all know it does happen at times. Usually when we least expect it.

Eleanor Roosevelt said it well in her quote of the new day which is exactly why we need to embrace each day with anticipation and love.

``        

This is just so true. I think to myself about missing Steve. Missing him is the hardest thing that I deal with every day. Where does the happiness come in? It comes when I remember to hold each and every memory of him in my heart and know that I must learn not to live without him but to live with the love that he left behind for me. This makes me smile again and to share in my happiness. A new day brings on new strength and new thoughts. Always ~

Thank you Helen Miles for sharing your 'Scribbles' with me and allowing me to use some of it in my blog. Also to Otis Redding for writing "Sittin' on the Dock of a Bay" partially in California while sitting on a rented houseboat and then he completed the song in Memphis with Steve Cropper, the guitarist of Booker T. & the M.G.'s as well as a STAX music producer. Definitely Memphis music shared with the world.

SELF-LOVE

 SELF-LOVE

The best thing I ever did was BELIEVE in me.

There comes a time in everyone's life that before us there is a fork in the road. I hit that fork in my road through life. So which way was I going to choose to go? So far, I am 99.9% sure that I have chosen the best path for myself. It truly is a matter of self-love. I want to be healthy for ME. The side benefits just happen to be that I will not only feel better but due to feeling better, I will look better, at least in my own mind. It is part of self-love. Doing something for myself! It is not being selfish. I want to be around for as long as possible for my children and grandchildren. And, I want to be healthy and happy! So, I made my choice.

With the help of a very good friend, who became my coach through this process, I am moving on along my path with ease. Most days are very easy and flow very well. 

This statement is so true. One can't go out and find balance, nor can one go out and buy it. Balance is created within yourself. Keeping an open mind toward all of the possibilities is one way that I use to create my balance.

It seems that the more that I focused on my balance, the more it was magnified. This was my saving grace and will continue to be; sort of like the 'never-ending story.' And I happen to love that feeling. What I do know for sure is that my current situation will NOT determine my final destination. 

When I started this journey, I did it for self-love. I did it to become healthy. But, you know what? It does not hurt to have a goal in mind. At a meeting the other day with my financial planner, she continued to tell me NOT to go into my social security fund until I hit the magic age. Well, that will be sooner than she thought. HA! What a fabulous compliment when she said that she wanted my look when she was my age. (whatever that age may be)

All I can say is that it is ok to set your goals wherever you choose. Afterall...Martha never in a million years believed that she would be the oldest woman on the cover of the Swimsuit Edition of Sports Illustrated. But look at her! 81 years young!

Today I hope you wake up with love, love for life, love for others, and most importantly, love for yourself.

FRIENDS

 FRIENDS

What exactly are friends good for? There was a song titled, That's What Friends Are For, by Dione Warwick, Stevie Wonder, Gladys Knight and Elton John that speaks volumes about what friends are for. They are there through good times and the bad times. They know most everything about you and yet they still love you. 

It turns out that friends are so very good for our health. They don't just help you enjoy life but they may make you healthier too. How you may ask? From  The Upside  by Twill I found quite a bit of information.

• Friends keep our spirits up. That social connection is one of the strongest protections against depression. This is based on research at Massachusetts General Hospital. 
• One study suggested that when women communicate with their female friends, it can actually result in lowering their levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

 

• College students getting a flu shot were asked to list up to 20 close friends. After 6 months, those students who had named less than 13 friends produced significantly fewer antibodies to the flu virus than the group who listed more friends. This was also researched in a study. In a University College London study it was reported that being more socially active, especially in midlife, is linked with a significantly lower risk of developing dementia later on. Scientists believe that people who are socially engaged in exercising cognitive skills such as language and memory, may help them develop cognitive reserve, which is the capacity for the brain to withstand changes that usually lead to a decline in cognitive function.
• Having a supportive listener in your life is associated with better brain function. Participants in their 40's and 50's who had low listener availability in their lives showed a cognitive age that was 4 years older than those who had high listener availability.

Age does not seem to matter. We need friends all through our lives.

So we should all be able to see the importance of reaching out to a friend for our own sake as well as theirs. Love lights us all up! 

My very special group of friends. 

A friend is someone who makes it easy to believe in yourself!